


A Marriage of Convenience

by ValkyrieShepard



Category: MODAOZUSHI, 陈情令 | The Untamed (TV), 魔道祖师 - 墨香铜臭 | Módào Zǔshī - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù
Genre: Arranged Marriage, Awkward First Time, Blood, Crack, Double Penetration, Fingering, First Kiss, First Time, Fluff, Fools in Love, Frottage, M/M, Misunderstandings, Poisoning, Polyamory, Rutting, Smut, Tears, Threesome, Unrequited Love, Violence, We Die Like Men, Young Love, a head will roll, awkward smut, blowjob, except it's not, painful first time
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-19
Updated: 2021-01-05
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:55:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 52,202
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28177254
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ValkyrieShepard/pseuds/ValkyrieShepard
Summary: To secure Jin Ling's place as the Sect Leader of the Lanling Jin Sect, the Gusu Lan Clan wishes to send their strength. For that, a marriage between Jin Ling and Lan Sizhui is arranged. What is supposed to be a marriage for the sects alliance becomes a budding romance that neither young man really knows how to deal with. Especially when Lan Jingyi is involved, feelings get complicated.
Relationships: Jiāng Chéng | Jiāng Wǎnyín/Niè Huáisāng, Jīn Líng | Jīn Rúlán/Lán Yuàn | Lán Sīzhuī, Lán Jǐngyí/Lán Yuàn | Lán Sīzhuī, Lán Jǐngyí/Lán Yuàn | Lán Sīzhuī/Lán Jǐngyí
Comments: 12
Kudos: 85





	1. Chapter 1

The end of a night hunt was always a bittersweet time for Lan Sizhui. There would be feelings of accomplishment, elation from a night of celebration, but it also meant leaving his friends. This group of theirs had established itself as a tightly knit circle of companions, sometimes taking in juniors from other sects, but always with that same inner circle. While he was always able to see Lan Jingyi, going out for a hunt meant meeting up with Ouyang Zizhen and Jin Ling.

While the latter had been rather disagreeable at first, Lan Sizhui had been able to see through him rather quickly. All that anger and temperament came from being an orphan, from being somewhat of an outcast in his own Sect, but now that he had made friends with them, he was like a whole new man. At least when it came to the three of them. Sometimes Lan Sizhui even thought especially so when it came to him. But perhaps that was just his imagination.

This night hunt they had to deal with a particularly vicious spirit. It was thanks to his teachings from Lan Wangji that he had been able to suppress it playing his qin. The others had then subdued it in a spirit catching pouch that was now hooked to Jin Ling’s belt. It was his turn to take home the prize. As future sect leader he had to prove that he had what it took.

It weighed heavily on Jin Ling’s shoulders. Lan Sizhui could see it when they were about to depart to their respective sects, all of them hesitant to do so. Ouyang Zizhen was complaining about having to make the trip back on his own while Lan Sizhui had someone to keep him company, when he noticed Jin Ling being awfully quiet. Usually this was their loudest time, all of them refusing to part until they absolutely had to.

Lan Sizhui took a few steps closer, gently pushed him away from the others that were still in an animated discussion, recounting their success from the night before.

“Jin Ling, is everything alright?,” he asked softly.

“Of course it is,” he huffed, trying not to look as forlorn as he had just a moment ago. “I defeated this spirit basically on my own. There’s no way anyone can not be impressed.”

Ah, that’s what it was. Jin Ling still felt that he had to prove himself, most likely there were still those that did not think he would be able to become the sect’s leader. Which had to be soon. Surely he was full of anxiety.

“They will be,” Lan Sizhui reassured him. “This one was particularly ferocious. Without you we would not have been able to capture it.”

At his comment Jin Ling seemed to stand up a little straighter, and a smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. Lan Sizhui liked when he smiled, it made him seem softer, and even more handsome at the same time.

Jin Ling nodded.

“We will see each other again soon,” Lan Sizhui continued. He put a hand on Jin Ling’s arm, smiling at him. “And I’m really looking forward to it.”

Finally, Jin Ling really smiled. It seemed some of the gloom that had surrounded him had dissipated. Deep down Lan Sizhui felt very happy that his words had been the cause of that.

“Don’t you dare not call me when you go out!,” he said a little louder, and the other two turned to him.

“Oh whatever would we even do without our great sect leader!,” Lan Jingyi said sarcastically, making Ouyang Zizhen laugh.

“I’m serious!,” Jin Ling called out.

“He’s just teasing,” Ouyang Zizhen said. “Don’t worry, I’d whoop their asses if they don’t call us. Come on, Jin Ling, we can walk together for a bit.”

They managed to finally tear themselves away from each other to part ways into different directions. Lan Sizhui had to look back one final time as they walked, waving to Jin Ling who had apparently done the same. He seemed shocked for a moment, but then waved back.

“Ahh, now we have to go back and study,” Lan Jingyi complained with a big sigh. “Night hunting is so much more fun.”

“Without learning what we need to, we can’t go night hunting,” Lan Sizhui explained. “You know that.”

“I know, I know, but it’s so boring, I just can’t concentrate for Lan Qiren’s lectures. They’re so long.”

Lan Sizhui pat his shoulder. He was concerned for Lan Jingyi, because it was true. He had difficulty concentrating for long periods of time, and retaining some information. It wasn’t because he was any less enthusiastic of being a cultivator than any of them, he just had a different style of learning. Practical application was most effective with him, and Lan Sizhui often worked out different methods of studying for the two of them. It meant staying up long nights to help his friend, but he did not mind.

On the contrary, really. He loved spending time with Lan Jingyi, he never got tired of it.

“I know,” he said finally. Lan Jingyi looked at him and he tried to be reassuring. “But you’ve learned so much this night hunt. You did really well, Jingyi. I’ll be sure to report accordingly.”

“You don’t have to do that…,” Lan Jingyi was actually blushing a little. “Hanguang Jun won’t believe it anyway.”

“He will,” Lan Sizhui replied. “He’s just hard on you so that you will be prepared if we face something dangerous. He knows you are capable.”

“Oh I don’t know about that…,” Lan Jingyi grumbled to himself, but the way he looked at him was a little hopeful.

He was certain though. To most people Lan Wangji was an unreadable book written in a different language. To Lan Sizhui, he was an open one instead. Only he and Wei Wuxian were able to read him this well, and he knew that not all hope was lost that Lan Jingyi could become a great cultivator with time.

They continued chatting until the sun set and they had almost made their way up the mountain towards Cloud Recesses, where they stopped at a small shack near the bottom, hidden away from the path. A little isolated, but close to the sect and the town, was Wen Ning’s little abode. Lan Sizhui couldn’t stop himself from knocking there and greeting him, taking the time to chat until it really was getting late and they had to go, lest they have to wait for the morning to be let in.

“Master Wei has returned too,” Wen Ning called after them as he waved.

Lan Sizhui’s heart skipped a beat, and his steps became a little faster. He and Lan Wangji often were away too, going where the chaos was. With a new body the two were now cultivation partners, and Wei Wuxian was working on forming a new golden core. Last he had seen him, he had been so close, and he was eager to hear good news.

“See you in the morning,” Lan Sizhui said quietly to Lan Jingyi when they too had to part ways. Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian lived rather isolated from the rest of Cloud Recesses, to keep the peace. Though even Lan Qiren, as unhappy as he was with it, had gotten used to his presence.

“Don’t forget to tell them how cool I was,” Lan Jingyi reminded him, and both giggling, they went into different directions.

Lan Sizhui found himself running the rest of the way, so eager to see the two men closest to him. Before he had even made it all the way he saw the familiar figure of Wei Wuxian going the same way, just a little ahead of him.

“Senior Wei!,” he called out, still in a lower voice. It did the trick though, and Wei Wuxian turned around, beaming when he noticed who it was. He stood there and opened his arms to take Lan Sizhui in a tight embrace - as of course he ran into his arms. “You’re back! I missed you!”

“You always say that,” Wei Wuxian replied, laughing.

“It is always true!”

Wei Wuxian ruffled his hair, then grabbed his chin to lift up his head.

“No cuts, no injuries?”

“Nope!”

“Very good,” he replied. He was always so worried for him.

“Is fa- Hanguang Jun home too?,” Lan Sizhui quickly corrected himself. In his mind, he mostly thought of them as his fathers. But he had never had the courage to call them that, and knew that in front of other Lan disciples it would not be a good idea. But at the thought his heart beat rapidly, and as they were walking back he finally found the courage to ask.

“He is and-,”

“Ah senior Wei-,” he stopped himself. “I’m sorry. I interrupted.”

“It’s okay, what is it, Sizhui?”

“I… I have been thinking about something for a while. But I don’t know if it’s appropriate.”

“Inappropriate? You? I doubt it’s possible,” Wei Wuxian replied, a big grin on his face.

“Uhm, it’s just. That I… I want to call you something else.”

“Hm? ‘Gege’?”

“No I… in my mind I often think of you as, well…,” he looked away from Wei Wuxian, and continued in almost a whisper: “Papa…”

Wei Wuxian stopped in his tracks, the jar of Emperor’s Smile he was holding almost fell to the ground, but he caught it in time. Lan Sizhui was afraid to turn around and face him, dreading that he had stepped over the line. It was wrong after all!

“A-Yuan…,” Wei Wuxian’s voice was surprisingly somber. “Look at me.”

He had to force himself, but after being asked he could not refuse. Beet red in his face, he turned to look at Wei Wuxian. He hadn’t expected quite this shocked expression on his face. But there was sadness in his eyes too. He hadn’t meant to cause that!!

“You really think of me as… that?,” he continued to ask.

Slowly, Lan Sizhui nodded. And slowly, he started seeing tears form in Wei Wuxian’s eyes.

“Oh no! I’m so sorry,” he said quickly. “I don’t have to say it. ‘Gege’... That’s fine too isn’t it?!”

But Wei Wuxian shook his head and stepped closer, eliminating the distance between them and pulled him into another hug. This time Lan Sizhui felt as if he was going to suffocate, but at the same time didn’t feel like pulling away. Wei Wuxian’s hugs were too precious to him.

“I’m not crying because I hate it,” he told Lan Sizhui. “I can’t believe you’d think that after what a fail- what an idiot I’ve been. To you. If you really want to call me that, it would be my honour.”

“Really?,” Lan Sizhui asked excitedly.

“Really.”

“Okay… papa.” He had to smile. So wide he thought his face was going to split. In his father’s arms he felt so elated and happy he might just burst at any moment! “Do you… do you think ‘father’ would be okay with Hanguang Jun too?”

It was the question he had feared even more. Asking Wei Wuxian was one thing, but Lan Wangji?! That was even scarier.

“Oh, A-Yuan, I know so,” Wei Wuxian replied. “You should just do it, spare him the awkward conversation.”

“I… I don’t know if I can do that…”

“Just trust me.”

“I, well. Maybe,” Lan Sizhui eventually said. They had started walking again, Wei Wuxian’s free arm wrapped around his smaller shoulders. “Are there any news? Did you hunt something interesting?”

It was as if Wei Wuxian’s smile suddenly froze on his face, and Lan Sizhui’s happiness washed away just like that. He could read him even better than Lan Wangji, and that expression did not mean anything good. What could have happened?

“Let us return to your father first. We have something to tell you.”

Despite hearing Lan Wangji being referred to as his father, Lan Sizhui now felt anxious. They were quiet the rest of the way, though when entering their home Lan Wangji had a soft smile for him.

“Sizhui.”

He came to eagerly sit by his side, wanting to hug him but never sure how to address this with Lan Wangji. It took a little nudge from Wei Wuxian for them to finally embrace one another. His father was so much bigger than he was, such a comfortable embrace for him, and pressed to his chest he could hear his steady heart.

“I’m home, father,” he heard himself whisper, and the body he was pressed again froze for a moment.

Right now, he and Wei Wuxian were probably exchanging glances. They often did so, communicating without any words, as if they were able to read each other’s minds. Then Lan Wangji relaxed again, his hand gently caressing Lan Sizhui’s back. It was okay after all!

“Sizhui,” came his deep voice again.

He sat up, straightened his robes and looked up at him. That small smile was still there as Lan Wangji reached out… and straightened his headband. He froze for a moment, it must have gotten crooked when he went to hug him. Lan Sizhui still blushed a little, but whispered a faint ‘thank you’ for being so considerate.

But then he remembered Wei Wuxian’s change in expression, and as he went to prepare tea for the three of them he had to ask.

“What did you need to tell me?”

Once more the two exchanged glances, and Wei Wuxian sighed.

“There have been talks between the Lanling Jin Sect and the Gusu Lan Sect,” Wei Wuxian said. He looked rather annoyed, but let Lan Wangji continue instead.

“Mhn,” was all he said before he closed his eyes as if to prepare himself for something. Lan Sizhui was watching closely now, having poured them all tea. “It has been decided that the Lanling Jin Sect needs someone to support Jin Ling when he is sworn in as the leader.”

Lan Sizhui nodded. He knew Jin Ling could be capable, but he was still young and some in his Sect might not support him. It would be a good thing if he had someone else to back him.

“They think the Gusu Lan Sect would be the best choice. And the Lan Sect agrees,” he took another deep breath. “Sending someone older would seem as if we are trying to take control of the Lanling Jin Sect. A marriage has been arranged instead.”

“A- a marriage?,” suddenly Lan Sizhui felt that it was hard to breathe. “Is- I mean- Who is…”

His first thought was that he would miss their night hunts. Surely as sect leader, and as a husband Jin Ling would not have the time to come out as much with them as he did now. Hearing all this so suddenly, Lan Sizhui felt like crying, though he wasn’t quite sure why. This was normal. He knew that this would happen eventually.

He took in a deep breath and hoped that these confusing feelings weren’t too visible on his face.

“You,” Wei Wuxian said suddenly.

Lan Sizhui blinked. A few times.

“What?”

“Only if you want to,” he added quickly. “I told them that! They can’t just force you to marry someone you’re not in love with!”

Wei Wuxian was clearly agitated, while Lan Wangji seemed as calm as ever, but they both knew there was more under the surface.

“You are his age,” Lan Wangji explained. “You are our top disciple, you are smart and would be ideal for the marriage, as there are no viable female disciples at the moment. You are already on good terms, therefore it was thought the marriage would at least be agreeable.”

“Even still!,” Wei Wuxian slammed his hand on the table. “You can’t seriously want that for A-Yuan!”

“It is not always about what we want,” Lan Wangji said. He took a slow sip of his tea. “However, Wei Ying is correct. Only if you want to.”

Lan Sizhui took in a deep breath. The first shock had only made way to an even bigger shock. Not just that Jin Ling was going to marry, but that someone was going to be him?!

“B-But what about an heir?,” Lan Sizhui asked, feeling his cheeks heat up. “That would be impossible.”

“It wouldn’t be the first time the Jin Sect would be succeeded by a bastard,” Wei Wuxian rolled his eyes.

“It is not the most pressing concern at the moment,” Lan Wangji explained.

Lan Sizhui was blushing even more. _He_ was the Lan Sect’s top disciple?! He was the best for this position?! He didn’t even know what to say to that. He was working hard because he liked to, he didn’t know he was quite this good…

“What about my studies?,” he continued to ask.

“You will of course continue,” Lan Wangji eased his concerns. “There would be close contact between our sects after the marriage.”

Lan Sizhui let out a sigh of relief. His cultivation was very important to him, besides he did not want to disappoint his father, who had worked so hard for him too. Not just to keep him alive. Although for that he would forever be grateful too.

“Sizhui,” Lan Wangji said, and made him look up again. “What are you thinking?”

“It’s important, isn’t it?,” he asked.

Lan Wangji nodded, but Wei Wuxian protested: “Not more important than your happiness!”

If he did this, he could help his sect and his best friend…

“What about Jin Ling? Would he even say yes? I saw the way he treated the two of you…”

“He will be told right this moment,” Lan Wangji said. “He will be explained the severity of the situation. He will say yes.”

Lan Wangji was so convinced… Why? It’s true that he had never really seen Jin Ling take an interest in a woman before, but that he would just give up on them for a marriage like this? Then again… There had been rather many concubines in the history of the Lanling Jin Sect. Jin Ling knew this as well.

Lan Sizhui took in a deep breath.

“If that is what I need to do to help the sect and Jin Ling. Then I want to do it. If he wants to,” he replied seriously.

Wei Wuxian immediately leaned closer and took his hand.

“Think about this A-Yuan,” he looked so intensely at him. “Do you really think you can be happy in this marriage? You’d be bound to him forever.”

He thought about this for a while longer.

“I never even thought about marriage, to be honest. That I would find a cultivation partner like you did,” he said, smiling at them both. “Jin Ling is my best friend. I want to help him. Maybe this arrangement will be okay. I really do want to do this.”

The expression on Wei Wuxian’s face softened a bit, though his smile looked sad. He reached out to caress his cheek, let his hand linger there for a moment, then pushed a stray strand of hair behind his ear.

“A-Yuan, you’ve grown into such a good man,” he sighed. “Your father raised you well.”

“You did, too,” Lan Wangji added, but Wei Wuxian only laughed.

Lan Sizhui liked when they both laughed. Though this time there was a bit of a melancholy between them. This would mean that he would move to Koi Tower, away from Cloud Recesses. The thought did make his heart ache, but this was the right thing to do, if only he was the one able to do it.

“What do we do next?,” he asked softly.

“There will be a meeting,” Lan Wangji explained. “Once we got the message that he accepted. Then the engagement will be formally announced.”

Lan Sizhui nodded.

“Will I have to do anything?,” he continued. “Do we… pretend we are in love?”

“That won’t be necessary,” Lan Wangji, replied. “That this is an alliance will be made clear. It will be an equal one.”

Still, Lan Sizhui was nervous. As they waited for word from Koi Tower, he threw himself into his studies, even declined talking to Lan Jingyi. It was a hard week for him. Not seeing one of his best friends made working even harder, but he didn’t trust himself not spilling this secret - a secret that had to remain one as long as Jin Ling hadn’t accepted.

What would _he_ think of all this? Marrying another man for this alliance. Would he even accept Lan Sizhui’s advice when he would give it? Were the two of them even good enough to lead an entire Sect? The weight of it all seemed to weigh heavily on his shoulders during this week, and at times he thought of going back on his word - he wasn’t a leader after all.

But then he looked at Lan Wangji and thought about everything the Lan Sect had done for him. He would do this. Had to do this.

In some moments, a small part of his heart was excited for this. But that part also threatened to beat out of his chest when Lan Jingyi approached him with news.

“Hanguang Jun wants to see you,” he said rather reservedly. “I uhm…”

“News?,” he was looking towards Lan Qiren’s residence. Surely they would be there.

“Sizhui,” Jingyi tore his gaze towards himself instead. “Are you avoiding me?”

“I…,” Lan Sizhui sighed. “Yes.”

“Why?” He had never seen Lan Jingyi this hurt before. He had been so busy he hadn’t realised what his actions told his best friend.

“It has to do with the news,” he replied. “I’m- I’m really sorry.”

He walked a step closer, feeling heat shoot into his cheeks.

“I missed you too. I just had to make sure I wouldn’t tell you. Because if I had been with you, I would have told you. I tell you everything.”

“What… what would you possibly need to hide from me? Is it something bad?,” Lan Jingyi asked.

“Come with me, stand outside the door,” Lan Sizhui whispered. “Don’t let them see you, but you can listen. You’ll know.”

They nodded to each other in a conspiratory way, and grinned. They were back to being best friends, just like that. Together they dashed to the pavilion, and just a few steps before, Lan Jingyi hid behind a corner, waiting for everyone to get inside before he would get into position. Lan Sizhui could already see his fathers approaching and joined them into walking inside. Lan Xichen was waiting for them already, standing in front of his uncle’s desk, where he was kneeling.

He was holding a golden-yellow envelope. Lan Sizhui’s heart started racing.

“Is it… Jin Ling…?,” he asked.

Lan Qiren nodded. Slowly unfolded the envelope and his eyes scanned the message.

“Their answer,” he said.

“Oh do you really have to make it this suspenseful?!,” Wei Wuxian blurted out, and immediately got a look of death from Lan Qiren. Most times he pretended Wei Wuxian didn’t exist, all other times he glared at him as if he hoped he would drop dead from it.

“The marriage proposal has been accepted,” Lan Qiren eventually finished. “Jin Ling and Lan Sizhui will be married in a month’s time. In a week, they are expecting you.”

A sigh of relief left Lan Sizhui’s lips, then suddenly he found himself on the ground, fallen on his behind. His fathers and Lan Xichen immediately turned and rushed to him.

“A-Yu- Sizhui, are you alright?,” Wei Wuxian corrected himself quickly.

“Papa I… don’t know,” he finished. “I don’t know why I fell.”

Only a few seconds after Lan Sizhui realised why all of these faces looked at him as if he had just ascended to godhood. He had called Wei Wuxian ‘papa’ in front of all of them. After another moment however, he could see Lan Xichen smile. Only Lan Qiren was still shocked.

“It is a big decision and change in your life,” Lan Xichen said gently. He reached out and helped Lan Sizhui up again, and did not mind when he fell against him to steady himself. “It is natural to feel a little overwhelmed.”

“Sizhui, are you really sure about this?,” Wei Wuxian asked again.

“It would hardly be an option to change his mind now,” Lan Qiren warned. “The Gusu Lan Sect would lose all face!”

“Who cares about face?! This is his life!”

“Please don’t shout,” Lan Sizhui said quickly, and went to put a hand on his arm. Immediately Wei Wuxian’s expression softened. “I said that it is what I want. It still is. I was just a little surprised, that’s all.”

Lan Wangji also came up to him, and took his wrist to press two fingers onto it. With his eyes closed they stood like this for a moment, as his father checked if there was anything wrong with him. But with a simple ‘Mhn’ he signalled that everything was okay.

“Wei Ying, brother,” he said. “Get ready to depart.”

“You cannot take Wei Wuxian to Koi Tower,” Lan Qiren shouted, but no one was listening.

His concerns were quickly swept aside as the three planned their departure, getting gifts on the way for the Lanling Jin Sect. But before Lan Sizhui could prepare himself, he ran into his best friend on the way out. Now he knew too.

And he looked sad.

“You’re going to marry Jin Ling?,” he asked.

Lan Sizhui nodded.

“And then you’ll go live at Koi Tower?”

He nodded again.

Lan Jingyi looked down, his hands grasping his sword tightly.

“I feel so stupid now.”

“No, no, you’re not stupid,” Lan Sizhui said quickly “You’re really not, please don’t say that.”

“But I am,” he laughed without humour. “Because I thought we would always be together. But now… Now you’re leaving.”

“I won’t always be gone,” Lan Sizhui told him. “Fa- Hanguang Jun said I would continue my studies. And I’m sure you can visit. I- I-”

His decision was final, in his heart Lan Sizhui knew that. But being faced with the sadness of his best friend… He couldn’t help but feel tears well up in his eyes. Of course, Lan Jingyi noticed.

“I’m sorry,” he wailed, now crying too. “Don’t cry, Sizhui, please don’t cry!”

“But you’re crying too!”

“That’s because you’re crying!”

What a pathetic mess they must look like, the two of them running into each other’s arms and crying this way, even falling to the dirty floor. It was as if Lan Sizhui only realised now how much change this decision would bring with it. What if he left in a few days and he would never see Cloud Recesses again?! Or Lan Jingyi?!

Those were silly thoughts of course, Jin Ling was friends with him too and surely he would never be confined like a prisoner. He was going to be a husband instead. But right at that moment all these changes seemed very frightening.

“Maybe… maybe you can come with us to the meeting,” Lan Sizhui said when his tears had somewhat subsided. “You could see Jin Ling too and- and… I’m sure if I ask Hanguang Jun he will allow it.”

“You really want me to?,” Lan Jingyi asked. He frowned at him with an expression Lan Sizhui couldn’t quite place.

“Yes of course! I’m going to be so nervous, I need my best friend, okay?”

Lan Jingyi didn’t say anything for a moment, so that Lan Sizhui thought that maybe he would decline. But with a rather serious face he finally nodded, and the two started to make sure that they were presentable again. They were inseparable the next few days, and Lan Sizhui felt complete again. Never again did he want to be unable to confide in his best friend.

He didn’t feel that he was able to prepare much. He didn’t have a lot of possessions, in line with Lan Sect rules, and other than that - what was there to take but himself? A small group consisting of him, Lan Jingyi, his fathers, Lan Xichen and a few other inner circle Lan disciples set out towards Koi Tower a few days later. They travelled rather light but with horses and carriages, intending to stop on the way to bring appropriate gifts for the Lanling Jin Sect.

“What could we possibly gift them that they don’t already have?,” Lan Jingyi wondered. “They’re just going to toss it all out and stick up their noses.”

“I’m sure they won’t,” Lan Sizhui said gently.

“It is rather more symbolic,” Lan Xichen explained. “To exchange gifts between husband and wi-... Husbands. Naturally these will remain with Jin Ling, he would decide what to do with them.”

Jin Ling. His thoughts had been revolving around him almost all day, every day since the letter had arrived. Jin Ling and him. Married. Presumably for the rest of their lives. His heart beat faster out of nervousness when he thought of it. Would they become cultivation partners as well? Lan Sizhui did feel that they worked so well together, and a part of him wished to explore this potential of their relationship. Jin Ling did not study any music, but Lan Sizhui had been thinking of composing something that could enhance one’s sword and spiritual energy levels while fighting. Perhaps his future husband would be interested in this…?

“Sizhui, you’re blushing,” Lan Jingyi teased. “Thinking about your future husband?”

Lan Sizhui paused for a moment before he replied: “Yes.”

“Are you nervous?”

“...Yes.”

Lan Jingyi had always been by his side in the past few days, and he rode even closer to him now.

“It’s Jin Ling,” he said as if that explained everything and would set him at ease. “He’s not bad. And I think he rather likes you.”

Lan Sizhui nodded, lost in thought again.

“Are you… in love with him?,” Lan Jingyi asked.

His heart skipped a beat, but he quickly shook his head.

“Of… Of course not. It’s a marriage of convenience. That’s all. So I’m sure I’ll be able to visit lots,” he tried to smile at Lan Jingyi, but wasn’t sure if he succeeded with the way his friend looked at him.

“Always following duty… I…,” Lan Jingyi trailed off, and Lan Sizhui had to prompt him to continue, but he shook his head too. “It’s nothing. We’re almost in town, let’s look for gifts.”

Something was off about his best friend. Lan Sizhui chalked it up to the changes that this marriage would bring with it. It was a fact that they would not be able to spend that much time together anymore, and it wouldn’t be the only thing that would change. He felt a little melancholy about it as well, so he didn’t press Lan Jingyi when he clearly did not want to talk about it too much.

Instead he tried to pretend that things were normal for the most part. They didn’t have to spare any expenses when choosing gifts, so the two of them had fun picking out whatever they though Jin Ling might like. They compared fabrics for robes, delicately made tassells, and the finest swords that they could find. Neither of them had ever indulged this much - even if it wasn’t for themselves, it was still fun. They ended up with their carriage filled with parcels and boxes for the Lanling Jin Sect, not all things chosen by them, and Lan Sizhui was curious as to what his elders thought appropriate for such a marriage.

He supposed that he would have plenty of time to inspect them once they were actually married.

Since it had gotten dark and there was still a bit of travel towards Koi Tower, their group ended up staying in a local inn. With a wink from Wei Wuxian, he and Lan Jingyi were allowed to have a room to themselves, and Lan Sizhui wanted to hug him right then and there to thank him. But that had to wait.

He tried very, very hard not to think that he would see his fathers less and less after this marriage, too. Lan Sizhui made sure to keep smiling as long as Wei Wuxian could still see him, but it fell when they were in their room. This… This was stupid. They would come visit. They loved him. Of course they would come visit.

“It’s the right thing to do,” he reminded himself.

“You’re pale,” Lan Jingyi observed. “If you’re that scared, why don’t you reconsider?”

“No, no… We just bought all those gifts. Jin Ling already accepted. I can’t.”

“Hanguang Jun and Senior Wei wouldn’t care. They’d do anything for you.”

“I can’t abandon my Sect _and_ my friend when they need me,” he pointed out. “I know it’s not perfect. I know there are going to be many changes. But it will be worth it.”

Lan Jingyi looked as if he wanted to say something against it, but decided not to. He didn’t like how this was affecting them already, he just wanted his friend right now! And he didn’t want to lose him when this was over, either!

“Jingyi…,” he said, trying not to cry again.

“What? - Sizhui!,” he called out, sitting by his side as he saw the tears well up in his eyes. “Don’t cry… I’m gonna…”

“Just promise me that you’ll always be my friend!”

“Of course I will be. I promise!” Lan Jingyi held out his hand, and Lan Sizhui clasped it tightly.

“I’ll always be your friend too,” he told him. “I’m going to need your help with this, okay?”

“Alright, yes,” Lan Jingyi replied after a pause. “I promise I’ll help you until you’re with him.”

Why was he hesitating? Lan Sizhui simply did not understand, beyond what they had already discussed.

“They better be really good to you!,” Lan Jingyi warned suddenly when they were already lying in bed, and Lan Sizhui had been about to fall asleep despite his nervousness.

In the dark, he had to smile.

“I’m sure they will be,” he whispered.

“If not, you have to tell me and I will come kick all of their asses.”

“Okay, Jingyi. I will.”

“Good.” Lan Jingyi muttered a little more in the dark, and Lan Sizhui was smiling now as he fell asleep.

Despite Lan Jingyi’s company and that of his fathers, his heart was racing when Koi Tower came into view. This was the day that he was to be engaged, anyone would be nervous, even if it was to one of his best friends and the marriage was for convenience, for an alliance. He was made to walk right behind Lan Wangji and Lan Xichen, with Wei Wuxian and Lan Jingyi right behind him. Framed, like a bride that was being presented to her groom. It was like that, he supposed.

“Oh crap,” he heard Wei Wuxian behind him as they ascended the many stairs.

Peeking between the two tall men in front of him, he could see a hint of purple robes fluttering in the breeze, next to a much smaller person. It was Jiang Cheng standing next to Jin Ling! No wonder Wei Wuxian tensed up. He turned as he walked to give him a smile and a nod, indicating that things would be alright. Surely his presence could be tolerated since this was for an alliance. At least he hoped so. Both his father and Jiang Cheng had such explosive personalities…

It was Jin Ling who greeted them though, and they all bowed before one another. Lan Sizhui seemed to be coming up a bit earlier than Lan Wangji and Lan Xichen, and his eyes briefly caught Jin Ling’s. Both of them looked as if they were surprised to see each other - ridiculous as this was a planned meeting. But Lan Sizhui still felt heat shoot into his cheeks, whereas Jin Ling seemed unusually composed… Like a leader.

“Please follow me,” he said. “We have prepared refreshments after your long journey.”

Something about Jin Ling being so professional made his heart skip a beat, and then another one when he was motioned to sit at the table right next to him on the somewhat raised platform of the Sect Leader! He hadn’t realised that things would be going quite so fast! Up here, all eyes were on him…

He turned to face Jin Ling, and bowed to him once more. Jin Ling returned the gesture.

“Please sit,” he said softly. Lan Sizhui felt his cheeks flush even more, and did as he was told, finding himself looking down at the dishes in front of him so he did not have to look into everyone’s expecting faces. “Thank you all for coming, Sect Leader, I hope the journey wasn’t too taxing on everyone.”

Lan Xichen nodded to him again.

“Thank you for your concern. It was a pleasant journey indeed. Coming to Koi Tower is always a joy, especially under such circumstances.”

Jin Ling nodded to him as well, then turned to Jiang Cheng.

“My uncle told me of this fortuitous alliance. I am grateful the Lan Sect is willing to lend its strength to me.” He turned to Lan Sizhui, and if his head hadn’t been red before, it surely was now. Jin Ling was so authoritative… “I look forward to this union, Sizhui.”

“S-So do I,” he replied quickly. “Thank you for your hospitality…”

He looked away, unsure if that was the wrong thing to say. Suddenly he felt so nervous, and all rules of etiquette that had been branded into his brain were suddenly so far from being remembered. Now he noticed that sitting to his left was Lan Xichen, behind him Lan Wangji and then Wei Wuxian, who was giving him a little thumbs up to encourage him. On Jin Ling’s right side was Jiang Cheng, only behind him were other members of the Lanling Jing Sect. Was he the one who had thought of this marriage?

His eyes could not make out Lan Jingyi, and that made him nervous.

But there was no time to search him out, as his attention was brought back to the formalities of discussing their marriage. He had little to add to the conversation, just listened to Jin Ling, Jiang Cheng and Lan Xichen formally state what they had already decided. Having consulted the calendar an auspicious date had already been set for the wedding, coming in about three weeks’ time. Not very long.

“It is time then that the couple makes their official toast,” Jiang Cheng announced, turned towards Jin Ling who very hastily took two small cups from the table in front of them.

It was the first time Lan Sizhui had seen him nervous since they had arrived, and somehow that set him at ease a little bit - knowing that he wasn’t the only one. Jin Ling must have worked hard to appear strong in front of all of them, and Lan Sizhui found himself smiling.

“As- eherm,” Jin Ling cleared his throat. “As per the rules of the Gusu Lan Sect, we will forgo the traditional alcohol. I hope that tea will suffice.”

After he had poured the tea into the cups, he shuffled a bit closer to Lan Sizhui, trying not to make it look too awkward. If he was being honest, he wasn’t sure himself what they were supposed to do now, but seeing him still rather far away, he did the same and accepted the cup that was handed to him.

He looked down, then back at Jin Ling.

“I don’t just drink it, do I?,” he whispered to him.

Jin Ling came even closer. His heart was bouncing in his chest.

“Follow my lead,” he whispered back, and held out his raised cup towards him.

Lan Sizhui did the same, then watched Jin Ling’s arm bend around his own, then back towards himself. Finally understanding the idea, Lan Sizhui did the same, but hesitated before drinking it. He would wait for Jin Ling to make the first move.

“To- To this marriage, and this alliance,” Jin Ling said, trying his best to speak loudly and clearly. “I welcome you into my family, Lan Sizhui.”

The longer he looked into Jin Ling’s eyes, the more at ease he felt, even though he seemed to be so very much out of his depth. He nodded then, his smile widening, and Jin Ling was the first to raise his cup. He mirrored his movements, and they both drained their cups in one go. Just as they lowered them, the procession that had gathered here politely clapped for them.

That was one thing done correctly. Lan Sizhui felt a bit more confident.

“Now then we will present our gifts to the br-,” Jiang Cheng caught himself, flushing a little and clearing his throat. “To the Gusu Lan Sect.”

“You!,” Wei Wuxian suddenly blurted out, but Lan Wangji’s hand came to his arm and he immediately stopped. Nevertheless he still looked angry as members of the Jin Sect came and started presenting gifts to Lan Sizhui. Jiang Cheng seemed to purposefully avoid looking into his eyes. Was something wrong…?

Lan Sizhui was quickly distracted though. Various members of the Jin Sect came to present gifts to him. Delicate fabrics in whites and blue of the finest material. Following that were finished robes, some close to the Lan style, some in the Jin Sect style, and some that were gorgeously in between. A single sword was presented to him, decorated very lightly in gold and silver. Lan Sizhui wished to take a closer look as it seemed to be a very finely made sword, but more people came with other gifts. What appeared to be perfumes and oils, things that Lan Sizhui didn’t really use or know about, then came a bit of jewelry, like pins for his hair.

He very diligently thanked them for every single one, bowing deeply towards Jin Ling and Jiang Cheng in the end.

“I fucking knew it!,” this time Wei Wuxian could not be held back, and immediately Lan Xichen and Lan Wangji flinched. “You _do_ see him as the bride! What is up with these types of gifts?!”

“I do not know what you mean,” Jiang Cheng glared at him. A vein popped on his temple. “These are expensive gifts, traditionally given to a future spouse.”

“Perfume?! Jewelry?! He has no need for any of those! If you’re treating him like the bride now, we should call this off!,” Wei Wuxian continued shouting. Jiang Cheng was about to get up from his seat as well and dread filled Lan Sizhui’s heart. “This was supposed to be a marriage of equals. I will not let him be treated as inferior!”

“Pa- Senior Wei, please,” Lan Sizhui said quickly, but his voice was lost under the shouting.

“I knew this was going to happen,” Jiang Cheng grumbled, and finally stood, raising his voice. “If you’ve come here just to sabotage this alliance, I can have you thrown the fuck out.”

“I’d like to see you try. Who are you to speak for the Lanling Jin clan, you’re not even part of it!”

“I am his-”

“ _He is my uncle_ ,” Jin Ling’s voice rose above them all. Even without standing up, everyone’s attention now came to him. “And I have personally asked him to be at my side during these times. After Jin- After Meng Yao, who else can I trust?!”

Silence filled the hall. The bearer of the gifts quickly shuffled to the side again. Lan Sizhui was somewhat mesmerised by the authority Jin Ling seemed to suddenly possess.

“As for your concerns,” he turned to address Wei Wuxian. “These gifts were well meaning, and considering this is the first time such a union has been made by larger clans, please excuse our mistakes.”

Jin Ling actually bowed to Wei Wuxian, leaving him stunned.

“Lan Sizhui is my dearest friend,” Jin Ling continued. “And he is the top disciple of the Lan Sect for a reason. Know that he will be treated with the utmost respect, kindness, and friendship.”

Lan Sizhui felt his heart skip a beat. Hearing all this from Jin Ling without blushing, without beating around the bush… He didn’t know how to feel. But his friend was so serious, he couldn’t help but suddenly be a lot more at ease than before. This ‘marriage’... As long as it was with Jin Ling, it couldn’t be so bad.

“At least someone here is sensible,” Wei Wuxian huffed. But he sat back down, even as he crossed his arms. “Go on then.”

“Yes, let us proceed,” Lan Xichen spoke up. His expression was full of relief that the situation hadn’t further escalated. “Please bring Jin Ling out gifts now.”

As now their escorts from the Lan Sect came to present their gifts to Jin Ling, Lan Sizhui leaned a bit closer towards him.

“Thank you for saying that,” he whispered. “Senior Wei is just trying to look out for me.”

“I meant it,” Jin Ling whispered back. At last there was a slight flush at the back of his neck, he noticed and had to smile. “I need you.”

He was surprised to hear such an outright confession. But it was why Lan Sizhui was doing this. To support one of his best friends and his Sect. As Jin Ling still was not looking at him, and also diligently thanked the Lan Sect for their gifts, he reached out for his hand resting on his thigh. Jin Ling froze for a moment, and Lan Sizhui squeezed it. As his own gaze wandered back to the gifts, and towards his fathers, he noticed Wei Wuxian grinning at where he was holding Jin Ling’s hand.

Quickly, he pulled it back again, trying not to blush. He had almost forgotten they were so on display at the moment.

It seemed that their slightly more ‘manly’ gifts were pleasing to the Jin Sect, and various other members also thanked them for their kindness. From here on out it was mostly pleasantries, surprisingly even between Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng. A few more details were discussed during which he and Jin Ling barely paid attention. Instead they talked and Lan Sizhui mentioned that their friend was here as well. But only when everything had been discussed were they able to meet outside.

“Hanguang Jun,” Lan Sizhui called out. “We’re going to chat a bit!”

Lan Wangji gave him a little wave and a nod that they were free to go ahead, and finally Lan Jingyi was able to meet them.

“Phew that took forever,” he complained immediately.

Jin Ling grinned at him.

“At least you didn’t have to pretend you knew what you were doing.”

“Wait, you didn’t?!,” Lan Jingyi asked. “You were incredible up there!”

Jin Ling seemed to puff out his chest a little bit more at the compliment.

“Uncle did drill me with a lot of the ceremony stuff, what to say and what not to say,” he explained. “You should have seen him. He was so tense I thought he was going to snap his back. And then that Wei Wuxian…”

“You handled it really well,” Lan Sizhui told him.

They were now wandering through the Sect’s compound, towards a garden that filled the air with a lovely scent. Here they appeared to be alone, though eventually came upon a gazebo where a low table had been set with various refreshments. Lan Jingyi was eager to stuff his mouth.

“Man, I can’t believe you’re getting married,” he mumbled with his mouth full.

Jin Ling rolled his eyes at that. Whenever he wasn’t at Cloud Recesses, Lan Jingyi often forgot the manners that he had learned.

“I admit I am still processing,” Lan Sizhui said.

“Yes. There hasn’t been much time to do that,” Jin Ling agreed. “Everyone is so busy with the preparations. And after we get married I’ll be Sect Leader. Everything is happening so fast now. And just a few days ago we were still night hunting.”

“Did you know about it?,” Lan Sizhui asked. “When we were saying goodbye.

Jin Ling shook his head.

“My uncle told me when I got back. It was… a lot. But to be honest, the sooner the better. I don’t know who I can trust right now.”

“Are there still people that would be against you?,” he continued, leaning a bit closer. It seemed that Lan Jingyi was watching them with interest.

“I think so,” Jin Ling replied. “It’s just hard after… after what he did. I feel like anyone could be sneaking up to try and hurt me.”

Lan Sizhui reached out for his hand again to squeeze it, and once again Jin Ling stiffened under his touch. Thinking that he didn’t like it, he pulled his hand away again. Lan Jingyi had watched the whole embarrassing scene, and Lan Sizhui tried not to blush. He probably failed.

“We can figure it out,” Lan Sizhui said. “I will see if there are any pieces I could play to keep you safe. We’ll be returning to Cloud Recesses tomorrow to prepare.”

“There’s still so much to do here too,” Jin Ling sighed, hiding his face in his hands. “I’ll be so glad when this is all over…”

“Oh poor you, having to organise a big ass fancy party,” Lan Jingyi rolled his eyes.

Before Jin Ling could reply something, what appeared to be one of his servants approached and bowed to them.

“The seamstress is ready,” he said. “If I could trouble Young Master Lan for a moment…”

Lan Sizhui looked at Jin Ling, surprised.

“For… the wedding robes,” Jin Ling explained.

“Oh… Oh yes of course. Take care of Jingyi for me, will you?”

Jin Ling smiled and nodded, while Lan Jingyi protested he didn’t need a babysitter. Lan Sizhui grinned to himself. Sometimes it felt like he did need one. For now he followed the servant into an unfamiliar room where a middle aged woman along with Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji waited.

“We’re here to make sure you’ll look splendid,” Wei Wuxian explained.

“I’m going to need all the help I can get,” Lan Sizhui replied, bowing to the seamstress. “I’ve never had anything but Lan Sect robes.”

“We will fit something wonderful for you,” she replied.

There were so many different fabrics laid out for him, all of them in various shades of red and pink, Lan Sizhui hadn’t even known that there could be so many! Not having any idea about this sort of thing, he let the seamstress handle the first selections. She held various pieces up against his skin and chose some that apparently matched him best.

It was such a strange day for him. All those gifts from before, now someone was taking his measurements to fit him a gown from such expensive materials. He watched Wei Wuxian chat with the seamstress, apparently getting really into this whole thing. That he was angry and concerned before didn’t show on his face at all. In the end he stood behind Lan Sizhui, who had his arms spread out and various fabrics attached to himself. If he imagined really hard, he could almost picture the robe that this would become.

“There, I made sure you’ll look so handsome,” Wei Wuxian told him, and Lan Sizhui smiled at him in the mirror that they were both facing.

“I forgot I had to wear red. It looks so strange on me.”

“It suits you,” Wei Wuxian told him instead. “Tell him, Lan Zhan.”

“Mhm. Beautiful.”

“See? He’s about to cry, you're so handsome!”

Lan Sizhui had to giggle, and a needle poked into his skin. Quickly the seamstress pulled them all out again and sorted the fabrics she was going to use.

“I will start working on this right away, and have it sent to Cloud Recesses,” she told them, and bowed once more before leaving the room. Finally Lan Sizhui could sit again, and faced his fathers.

“There really is so much to be done,” he sighed.

“Most of it the Jin Sect will take care of,” Wei Wuxian said. “When we return to Cloud Recesses you’ll have time to get used to the thought…”

“Of not seeing you as often?,” Lan Sizhui finished. “I’ve been thinking about that already.”

“We’ll visit,” Lan Wangji simply said.

“Please,” he replied softly, his voice almost a whisper. “I’m going to miss you so much.”

Suddenly he was pulled into a hug by Wei Wuxian, and he clung to him tightly.

“If only Lan Zhan hadn’t raised you so well, you wouldn’t feel you needed to do this,” Wei Wuxian said. Lan Sizhui had to smile.

“It’s not so bad, papa. It’s going to be different but I’m glad I can do this.”

“Glad, really?”

“Yes. You don’t know Jin Ling like I do.”

Wei Wuxian pulled back a little and looked down at him. His eyes seemed to be searching for something, but Lan Sizhui couldn’t tell what it was. In the end he just sighed at him and ruffled his hair, which made him roll his eyes and redo it again. The two didn’t leave Cloud Recesses after they had returned for the next few weeks. Lan Sizhui tried to spend his time as normally as he could, taking in all the studies and all his friends for as long as he could. Every evening he and his fathers had dinner privately together, most times not talking about the upcoming wedding.

Lan Sizhui had other thoughts though, when he was lying in bed at night. That unfinished dress on his body, the way he had looked so strange to himself in the mirror. All of this to get married to Jin Ling. It was an alliance, he told himself, but that didn’t stop his heart from racing in his chest, and for these weeks he was utterly confused about why it would do such a thing.

Somehow he could not bring himself to ask Lan Jingyi about it. They didn’t talk about the wedding either, and his heart did another strange thing when he thought about leaving his best friend behind. It really was very bittersweet.

Then there came the day that the wedding robes arrived. Wei Wuxian was quick to drag him to his and Lan Wangji’s home to make him try it on. Lan Sizhui thought that there was a stranger in the mirror looking back at him. The robes were held in a very deep and dark red for the most part, accenting his sleeves, belt with a lighter red, as well as being the underlying fabric. It was longer than his usual robes, and he had to lift the front to be able to walk. It almost felt like a dress, but hugged his waist tightly, and with the way it seemed to float around him, Lan Sizhui almost felt… pretty.

Even Lan Wangji’s eyes widened by a millimetre when Lan Sizhui stepped out from behind the room separator.

“That’s a dress!,” Wei Wuxian blurted out, looking angry again. “They’re doing this on purpose!”

“Wei Ying,” Lan Wangji said softly. “Look at him.”

Despite his anger, Wei Wuxian looked at him longer and longer. The more he did, his brows softened, and his arms finally fell by his sides rather than be crossed in anger.

“He really is so beautiful,” he finally sighed.

Lan Sizhui blushed, and turned to face the mirror once more. Beautiful. Him? He had never even remotely thought of using that word to describe himself. What stood out to him at the moment was his white headband, and soon, he thought, Jin Ling would be allowed to touch it, wouldn’t he?

His heart did that thing again. That thump thump in his chest. It was just an alliance, not a real marriage, but at this moment something fell into place. He wanted Jin Ling to touch it. He had seen Wei Wuxian do it, when he and Lan Wangji were talking softly and kissing, when they were lost in their own little world, he would touch Lan Wangji’s headband in a loving manner. And his eyes welled up when he thought of Jin Ling doing the same thing.

“A-Yuan?”

Wei Wuxian quickly came closer and pulled him into an embrace.

“Oh, Yuan, I had really hoped you would do this with someone that you’re in love with.”

Lan Sizhui stood like this for a moment, then as he managed to hold back some of his tears, he looked up at his father.

“Well… I…”

Wei Wuxian’s eyes widened.

“You-? You really?!”

Lan Sizhui’s tears wouldn’t be held back so easily. One rolled down his cheeks as his smile widened and he nodded. Somewhere along the way he had fallen in love with Jin Ling.

“I think I do,” he said, his voice cracking. “Though… I don’t think he does.”

“Yuan, look at you!,” Wei Wuxian stepped back, still holding his hands. “If he doesn’t fall in love with you when you step out of that sedan… Well, he still will.”

“You don’t know that.”

“Listen, A-Yuan. You are smart, powerful, kind and handsome.” As if he couldn’t help himself, he pulled his son back into that hug. “Oh I really, really hope one day he will love you too.”

As he was laughing and crying he felt another larger body embrace him from behind, Lan Wangji. This was such a revelation to his heart, he wasn’t sure if he could take it! That he could fall in love, even to marry that person… Right now he did not care if Jin Ling felt the same way, just being by his side felt like it was enough for him.

The last few days before the big date went by in a flash. Lan Sizhui kept looking at his wedding robes, kept trying them on and imagined what Jin Ling would say when he saw him. In his excitement he sometimes forgot that he was the only one in love, but knowing that he was with him soon eased his heart.

Finally the day came, he had gotten dressed and once more his fathers came to see him.

“Let me do just a little make up,” Wei Wuxian said. He had a small box in his hands, and was just about ready to go when Lan Wangji stopped him.

“Not you,” he said.

Both he and Lan Sizhui were thinking of the first time they had encountered Mo Xuanyu, and how awful his ‘make up’ had been. Wei Wuxian pouted.

“You can’t do it any better.”

But it turned out, he could. It didn’t seem like a lot: Just a little bit of shadow on his eyes, the slightest touch of blush on his cheeks, and something that made his lips shine when light reflected off of them. But when he turned back to look at the mirror it seemed as if once more it was a completely different person looking back at him. Oh how he hoped that Jin Ling would like him.

Lan Sizhui was surprised to see the sedan though, and the Lan disciples ready to carry it.

“Oh I can’t get in there. I can’t make them carry me all this way.”

“You’re light. They’re strong,” Lan Wangji said.

“But still! It’s a long time until Koi Tower!,” he protested.

One of the disciples approached him, a tall young man he was familiar with. He bowed to Lan Sizhui, and smiled.

“It is our honour to escort you,” he told him. “Please do not worry. Sharing the weight among all of us makes it no burden at all.”

Since it was traditional, and the men insisted, he climbed inside with the help of his fathers. It was a small thing but soft pillows made for a comfortable ride. As they were leaving, he pushed aside the curtain to look back at Cloud Recesses. How long would it be until he saw it again? The mountain, the calm forest, the cold spring. Thinking about it all constricted his heart that was beating so rapidly in his chest at the same time. What a bittersweet moment this was.

Lan Jingyi rode up to him.

“You’re not supposed to be seen by people,” he teased with a smile. “Where’s your veil anyway?”

“Right here,” he replied, taking it from his lap. “I figured I can just put it on when we get there. And can’t people see through the curtain anyway?”

“It’s some kind of enchanted cloth,” Lan Jingyi explained. “When it’s closed I can’t see you at all.”

“But I can look outside.” He closed the curtain and made an obscene gesture at Lan Jingyi, who didn’t react at all. He giggled and pushed it open once more. “Interesting.”

“It’s so weird seeing you dressed like that,” Lan Jingyi continued. He was eyeing Lan Sizhui with a look that was very strange.

“Do you think it looks ridiculous?,” he asked.

“No I…”

Did he see right? Was Lan Jingyi blushing? He probably thought that a man dressed like this was ridiculous, but was too ashamed to tell him outright. It was a natural reaction but Lan Sizhui still felt a little disappointed.

“He’s going to fall in love with you,” Lan Jingyi said instead, most likely a lie to not hurt his feelings.

“I hope so,” he sighed.

“Wait, what?”

Now Lan Sizhui felt himself blush, as he so often did when he thought about Jin Ling.

“I think I’ve fallen for him,” Lan Sizhui told him.

“Oh.” Lan Sizhui hadn’t really know what kind of reaction he had expected from his best friend. Any reaction would be preferable to nothing at all, just staring into the distance as he rode. “I hope so too then.”

“Jingyi? Is something wrong?”

“Nothing. I’ll check up with the front.”

Before he could say anything, he watched Lan Jingyi urge his horse to go a little faster, and was soon ahead of him. Was he mad? Had he said something wrong? Since he understood his feelings he had been looking forward to this marriage a lot more, had hoped that maybe one day Jin Ling could return his feelings. Why would this make his best friend mad?

With his mood dampened he closed the curtain again and leaned back in the sedan. He didn’t have much else to do but wait until they arrived, and think about what had just happened. But with his fathers checking in on him every so often his mind was finally distracted once more, and he started smiling as he noticed they were getting close to the Lanling Jin Sect’s territory. They had set out very early and made good speed so that the day was bathing them in golden sunlight as they arrived.

But it seemed they weren’t going to make it all the way up to Koi Tower. He could see the other wedding procession in the distance, but couldn’t make out Jin Ling just yet. Quickly he arranged the veil on top of his head, eagerly looking forward to the moment Jin Ling would lift it.

“Welcome!,” it was Jiang Cheng’s voice again that shouted towards their group. A little while later it was a lot closer. “Please set the sedan on top of that hill. From there we will be able to see everything.”

_See what?_ , Lan Sizhui wondered. Weren’t they going to start the ceremony?

Once on top of the hill he could finally see Jiang Cheng when he was set down. Beside him were his fathers and Lan Xichen, bowing to one another in greeting. Still he was unable to see Jin Ling, but his heart skipped when he heard him instead.

“Why are we here?,” he asked.

“There are tasks you need to complete before you can see him,” Wei Wuxian explained with a shit eating smile. “First: There’s a monster down there. Hunt it and bring us its claw.”

“A monster?!,” Jin Ling exclaimed angrily. “What the hell?! Aren’t these tasks like… making a handstand, that sort of thing?”

“You’re the leader of one of the greatest Cultivation Sects. A handstand is too easy. Go on.”

“Uncle!”

“If you can’t hunt a monster how will you lead a sect?,” Jiang Cheng asked. He too was smiling, apparently enjoying teasing his nephew. Lan Sizhui had to grin as well, hiding it behind his sleeve although no one could see him.

“Fine. It’ll be easy,” Jin Ling replied. “I’ll do it… for him.”

At those words Lan Sizhui had to hold back not to make an embarrassing noise, instead he leaned forward a little. From this hill he really did have a rather good look down at the forest, where apparently a monster was roaming. Focusing on looking for it, he missed Jin Ling’s brief appearance in his field of vision. Something red was down there now, it must be him!

Lan Sizhui could see some of the trees shaking in the distance. Whatever was there must be rather big, but he was confident in Jin Ling’s abilities, he had seen them in action often. He didn’t seem to have noticed the monster yet, and silently Lan Sizhui was urging him on just to look to his left and use his senses! The shaking had almost stopped at that moment, but slowly Jin Ling was unsheathing his sword.

The monster was trying to sneak up on him, but he must have sensed that something was wrong now. Lan Sizhui was enraptured by the scene before him. Suddenly, a large, furry creature rushed at him, but Jin Ling dodged out of the way! From other people around the sedan came mumbling and some impressed voices, and somehow Lan Sizhui felt a little proud. The wolf-like creature swiped at Jin Ling, who dodged again and returned a strike of his own. A pained howl came from the forest, his sword had hit!

Jin Ling was incredible down there! Most of what Lan Sizhui could see were flashes of red as he struck with such speed and dodged in equal measure that it was hard to track where exactly he was. The creature was fast, too, but nowhere near Jin Ling’s level and he was slowly wearing it down. Lan Sizhui found himself on the edge of the sedan, almost falling out once or twice when Jin Ling performed a particularly exciting manoeuvre.

Finally the creature fell. Cheers and clapping came from the wedding procession around Lan Sizhui, who quickly joined in. How exciting! All this just to see him, he hadn’t known about such customs at all. In the distance the red figure bent down to cut off the monster’s claw, slowly bringing it back to them. As Jin Ling scaled the hill they were on, Lan Sizhui finally got a good look at him.

His heart was pounding!

Jin Ling was dressed all in red, such a stark contrast to the usual yellow and white robes he wore. A golden belt hugged his waist nicely, and golden necklaces cascaded over his chest. His hair, tied up in his usual ponytail was slightly dishevelled from the fight, giving him somewhat of a rugged look combined with the fierceness in his eyes. His golden bracers were slightly stained by blood, as was his face.

Suddenly Lan Sizhui couldn’t help but imagine Jin Ling carrying him out of the sedan, strong arms holding him securely. He was drawn out of his daydream when Jin Ling came close to the sedan… and knelt. He offered the monster’s claw to him.

“I have slain the monster, please accept this offering,” he said.

Lan Sizhui didn’t know what to reply, or if he even should. Thankfully the decision was taken from him when Lan Xichen nodded and took the claw for it to be placed in a wooden box.

“Well done, the first task is completed,” he said. “Very impressive.”

Jin Ling seemed to stand a little taller when he heard those words.

“For the second task we wish a display of your spiritual power,” Lan Xichen continued. “How is up to you.”

“A display…,” Jin Lin trailed off, hand coming to his chin as he thought about how exactly to do that. Lan Sizhui did not care, he was content to just look at him from behind the curtain where he could do so unashamed.

Not just his own eyes were on Jin Ling as he moved away from the sedan, but everyone’s. No one knew what Jin Ling was going to do, but it seemed he needed space for it. He went back down the hill to where there was a clearing before the main body of the forest began. Here Jin Ling took up a stance that Lan Sizhui was familiar with, as they often sparred and trained together during night hunts. He closed his eyes and gathered energy in between his palms.

Slowly the ball of energy grew and grew between his hands. Spiritual energy lashed out around him, creating wind that pushed the grass around him flat down, made his ponytail flail wildly around him. And then- His feet slowly started leaving the ground! Lan Sizhui wasn’t the only one already impressed by this feat, floating without a sword! Around him more voices were impressed, but Jin Ling didn’t seem to stop. Higher and higher he floated, golden spiritual energy floating around and carrying him.

When he had already reached an impressive height his hand suddenly shot upwards, showing them the ball of spiritual energy he had just gathered. He suddenly shifted, stopped floating and dropped to the ground with a force that was larger than just his body falling. The energy slammed into a ground with a deafening thunder that shook the trees, even crushed some of them. The shock wave was so large that it even travelled up the hill and shook the sedan, made its curtain push back against Lan Sizhui.

For a moment everyone was quiet. Then the first Jin disciple shouted out to him: “THAT’S OUR SECT LEADER!”

Lan Sizhui beamed under his veil. He wholeheartedly agreed with the cheers that once more erupted from the people around him. He hadn’t even known about the extent of Jin Ling’s Cultivation. Somehow that made him feel proud.

Jin Ling also looked very pleased with himself as he returned, and all Lan Sizhui wanted to do was run up to him and ask when he had become this strong. But he had to remain and play the waiting bride.

“Very impressive,” Lan Xichen said. “I believe we can see the second task as fulfilled as well.”

“Yeah!” Wei Wuxian practically jumped towards his nephew, pulling him into a rather undignified hug. “You’re amazing!”

“Get off!,” Jin Ling immediately complained and pushed Wei Wuxian to the side. But there was the tiniest of smiles tugging on the corner of his mouth. As complicated as his feelings for Wei Wuxian were, he liked being praised by him.

“Is there a third task?,” Jin Ling eventually asked.

“Indeed there is,” Lan Xichen too looked rather… mischievous? Lan Sizhui had never seen him this way before. “Master Wei, if you’d please.”

“It is my pleasure,” Wei Wuxian puffed out his chest as he announced the third task. “Your final task will be…”

He intentionally stalled, making Jin Ling lean forward.

“To make Lan Zhan laugh!,” he finished.

“Pffffff hahahahahahahaha.”

Everyone turned towards the sedan as Lan Sizhui couldn’t help but laugh out loud. The sheer difficulty of this task! How was Jin Ling going to ever do it?! Even if he made Lan Wangji laugh, it didn’t mean that he would even show it! Jin Ling seemed to understand the severity of the situation, he seemed to be suddenly sweating.

“Please have mercy,” he said to Wei Wuxian.

“Nope. You have to do it. Good luck.”

Meanwhile Lan Wangji stood silently beside him, his golden eyes now watching Jin Ling intently. Under his gaze, Jin Ling seemed to sweat even more, and he was silent for a long time until he spoke.

“Who did the fierce corpse take to the banquet?”

Lan Wangji did not say anything.

“The ghoul-friend,” Jin Ling finished.

From behind Lan Sizhui, Lan Jingyi’s laughter rang out. However, Lan Wangji’s expression did not change in the slightest. Even Lan Sizhui could tell that he didn’t think it was funny. No one really did… except Lan Jingyi who lived for stupid jokes like that. Jin Ling on the other hand, looked a little panicked now. Lan Sizhui had to admit himself that he didn’t know how to make Lan Wangji laugh. The only person that really could was Wei Wuxian, and he of course would not be sharing his secret.

The stare off between Lan Wangji and Jin Ling ended when the latter looked away. Because he needed to think, because he also couldn’t be under his stare for much longer. Lan Wangji had that effect on people, though Lan Sizhui had always felt completely at ease and safe in his father’s presence.

Jin Ling’s head snapped up and he took a step towards Lan Wangji, his hands reaching for him. Was he… Was he trying to tickle him?! Lan Sizhui’s eyes widened thinking of the horrific things Lan Wangji might do to Jin Ling if he tried. Jin Ling made the mistake of looking up into Lan Wangji’s eyes, and froze in place. Another chuckle came from the group as Jin Ling backed up, arms still outstretched.

“I’m sorry,” he said quickly, arms finally falling back to his side.

Crisis averted. But Lan Wangji still was not smiling, let alone laughing.

Next, Jin Ling suddenly stood very straight, his expression turning into a disapproving frown. He reached towards his chin, and pretended to stroke an imaginary beard. Lan Sizhui could immediately tell who he was trying to imitate: Lan Qiren, who was not attending this wedding.

“How shameful,” he said in a much deeper voice, surprisingly close to Lan Qiren. Lan Sizhui had to hold back another laugh. “Wei Wuxian! Copy the Gusu Lan Sect’s rules three _hundred_ times!”

Next to Lan Wangji, Wei Wuxian actually giggled a little, but the other’s face remained still.

“That’s actually very close, well done,” Wei Wuxian told Jin Ling, then looked up at Lan Wangji. “Still not a winner though.”

Jin Ling glanced at the people around him, feeling the threat of failure creeping up on him. Lan Sizhui wanted to call out to him and encourage him, but he was not allowed to leave until Jin Ling managed to clear these trials. Then again, they surely would not let this marriage be stopped by not being able to, would they? Too much was riding on it. At the same time it would not be a good look for the future Lanling Jin Sect leader to fail at such a thing…

_Just hold on a bit longer_ , Lan Sizhui thought. _You can do it!_

Jin Ling turned to whisper something into a Jin disciple’s ear, who walked away and returned with… Chopsticks? Jin Ling took them and put them into his mouth, but the noise that came out of his mouth… Was he imitating a walrus?! Lan Sizhui pressed a hand to his own mouth to keep from making a noise. He was laughing so hard that tears were threatening to stream down his face and he had to search for a handkerchief to stop his makeup from being ruined.

And still Lan Wangji was not moving a single muscle!! He had the distinct feeling that he was doing this on purpose, and just wanted to see what Jin Ling would do to ridicule himself.

“Wait,” he whispered to himself.

Was it that he wanted to see what Jin Ling would do for him? What he was willing to do for Lan Wangji’s son?

His laughter was gone and he felt oddly touched as he watched Jin Ling whisper something else to the man besides him. He returned with some food, covered in some kind of cream. It certainly looked delicious, but how was eating it going to make Lan Wangji laugh?

Lan Sizhui watched as Jin Ling took in a deep breath. And smashed the dish into his face. He was dumbfounded at the sight, but people around them started laughing now. Once more, Lan Wangji just stared, and Jin Ling looked about ready to cry. With golden cream still on his face, he suddenly lurched forward to make a hand stand. The whole scene was just so ridiculous! Here was Jin Ling in clothes made from the finest fabrics, with expensive bracers and jewelry that cost more than everything Lan Sizhui owned combined, making a handstand while still having his face covered in cream! He wasn’t the only one laughing, but still his father was not doing anything.

Until finally, Jin Ling’s arms were shaking and he couldn’t hold himself up anymore. With a thud he fell to the ground, grunting as he did. He landed awkwardly, and as he got up he rubbed his behind who had taken the brunt of the fall.

And there, Lan Sizhui saw it. The corner of Lan Wangji’s mouth lifted ever so slightly.

Ha had done it!!!!

Wei Wuxian had seen it too, and clapped for his nephew.

“Congratulations! The third task is completed!”

Jin Ling let out a big sigh of relief, and was immediately handed a cloth to clean up his face with. Beside him, Jiang Cheng also seemed very relieved, he had looked so tense the entire time. Understandably so. He spoke up.

“Jin Ling has earned the right to see his groom,” he proclaimed. “Let us return to Koi Tower for the ceremony.”

Lan Sizhui sat up straight, a little disappointed that he didn’t get to see Jin Ling right at this moment. He almost reached out when he saw him stare right at him. At the curtain, Lan Sizhui corrected himself. He couldn’t see inside, and yet it seemed so much like he could. His lips almost called out his name, but suddenly the sedan lurched and he was picked up again, then he lost sight of Jin Ling as they approached Koi Tower.

All the way up those many steps to the main hall, in front of which he was set down, while everyone else gathered inside. The sheer mass of people intimidated him, all of them would soon be watching him get outside. What if he tripped…?

“You’ll be okay,” Wei Wuxian’s voice whispered behind him, from the other side of the curtain. “Just look at us if you’re nervous.”

“Okay papa…”

Wei Wuxian quickly reached inside to squeeze his hand, then entered the hall with the rest of the cultivators. Along with Lan Wangji they sat close to the front, right beside the raised platform where two pillows were waiting for the two of them to sit down on. A red carpet lined the hall, onto which Jin Ling stepped. He had cleaned up a bit more and adjusted his ponytail, looking just as handsome as when he had first come into Lan Sizhui’s sight. He kept his eyes on the sedan as he walked down the carpet towards him.

Now Lan Sizhui’s heart was racing so hard that he thought it was going to jump out of his chest.

Slowly the curtain was pushed back, hooked so it would stay open, and Jin Ling froze in place.

[Lan Sizhui in his wedding dress illustrated by me](https://twitter.com/valdrawsart/status/1341796905576247296)

“Uhm, hello,” Lan Sizhui said awkwardly and quiet, hoping no one else would hear. “You did really well.”

“I… I…,” Jin Ling was staring at him, gaze wandering to take him in completely.

“Is… is something wrong?,” he asked. “I know it looks like a dress. I didn’t know it was going to be so… girly. I can take it off right after.”

“No!,” Jin Ling blurted out. “It’s… It’s not so bad.”

After another awkward pause, he added: “Take my hand.”

Lan Sizhui nodded and reached out to take Jin Ling’s hand. Lifting the hem of his robes he stepped outside, but still managed to step onto them so that he fell against Jin Ling. He remained steadfast though, and helped him stand. Their eyes met through the see through veil, and Lan Sizhui blushed.

“Red really looks good on you,” he whispered.

Jin Ling blushed too.

He simply nodded and made sure Lan Sizhui held his hand, lifted up high as they walked down that red carpet once more. All eyes really were on them, of course they had to be, but it still made him so nervous. As his father had suggested, he glanced towards Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji sitting by the side of the carpet. Wei Wuxian gave him an encouraging nod and a thumbs up as he walked past, now stepping on the raised platform to take his seat.

Turning towards Jin Ling, he held his breath as his soon to be husband lifted his veil. Once more he seemed stunned. Had his make up been ruined after all? No one else said something however, only Jin Ling was the one staring at him. Lan Sizhui bowed his head.

Together they had to bow to pay their respects to their sects, each other, and the gods. They vowed to be true to one another, finally entering into this marriage together. All that time Lan Sizhui couldn’t stop looking at Jin Ling. Who was now his husband, as the hall erupted into cheers and outside fireworks seemed to have been set off.

“With this marriage there is one more thing,” Jiang Cheng stood with a Lanling Jin disciple that Lan Sizhui was unfamiliar with. “Jin Ling.”

Jin Ling shuffled forward a little, bowing his head now. The Jin disciple took Jiang Cheng’s place. Naturally someone from another sect could not pronounce Jin Ling Sect Leader to the Lanling Jin Sect.

It was over rather quickly. A few sentences that the sect acknowledged Jin Ling as their rightful leader, as Jin Xizuan’s son, as Jin Guangshang’s grandson. Lan Sizhui could tell how tense he was though, that there was still some fear in him getting this title. But that’s what he was here for now, wasn’t he? To support Jin Ling and secure his place.

So he reached out, and took Jin Ling’s hand. With everyone already in the mood to celebrate, not everyone was watching them now. People cheered Jin Ling’s name, turned to one another, servants were bringing out food and alcohol for them, when Jin Ling’s head snapped to look at him.

“You did it, you’re Sect Leader now.” But Jin Ling lowered his gaze, still unsure of himself. “I’m here now. Whenever you have doubts, please come to me.”

Jin Ling looked at him again, eyes watery. He opened his mouth to speak, but someone interrupted them.

“It’s time to take your bride to your chambers, isn’t it?”

Laughter joined that man, and the two of them flushed red. But it was the thing to do, after a wedding. Even Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian urged them on, so the two clasped hands again and walked down that carpet, where outside the sun was starting to set and the sky was filled with fireworks so elaborate they created entire scenes.

Jin Ling turned to the left, leading him over a small bridge under which was a pond growing lotus pods. Everything that the Lanling Jin Sect owned was beautiful and magnificent, Lan Sizhui thought. This was going to be his home from now on.

“This is where I live,” Jin Ling had stopped in front of a large building. “But let me show you your quarters.”

“Mine?,” Lan Sizhui asked. They turned to walk to a smaller building right next to this one.

“Yes, of course. You will want your own space, won’t you? For your studies and… everything,” Jin Ling finished.

“Yes, ah. That makes sense. I had not thought about it.”

The smaller building was just as beautiful as Jin Ling’s. Where it was golden on the outside, the overwhelming colours inside where white and blue, just like in Cloud Recesses. The wood here was very dark, like in Cloud Recesses. The entire style of furnishings had been made to recreate his former home.

“Jin Ling…,” he said, his heart aching. “This is…”

“I thought that perhaps it would ease your living here if it seemed a bit like home.”

“I… I don’t know what to say.”

“Is it bad?,” Jin Ling asked. “Should I not have reminded you? I’m so sorry…”

He looked panicked but Lan Sizhui quickly took his hand again.

“No, no it was very thoughtful. I’m grateful.”

“There’s uhm… Well if there is anything you need there are servants you can ask for anything, they will give it to you. And this over here…” He led Lan Sizhui towards an unremarkable cupboard. But when he gathered spiritual energy in his hand and held it out towards it, it shifted and revealed a small hallway, just big enough for a small person to walk through. Both of them would have to stoop a little. “It leads to my chambers. It already was here, I thought I might as well keep it. Who knows, it might be useful.”

“I love it,” Lan Sizhui said earnestly.

From the distance they could hear voices approaching, and the two looked at each other, understanding what they needed to do right away. Jin Ling went first, stooping low to enter the hidden hallway, and Lan Sizhui followed after, lifting the hem of his robes. Behind them the cupboard closed the hallway again, and a little while later they were in the golden and white furnished rooms of Jin Ling. Outside, cultivators were talking.

“I wonder if they’ve consummated the marriage yet.” The man was laughing.

“Hardly. This is an alliance, remember? That Sect Leader of ours isn’t a cut sleeve.”

“Who cares about that nowadays, that Lan Sizhui is quite formidable. They make a good match.”

“Exactly, they need to do this properly, feelings involved or not.”

Lan Sizhui looked at Jin Ling and the two blushed at the same time. Did they really expect them to do it?! Now?!

“Uhm… Do… Do you want to?,” Jin Ling whispered.

Some part of him wanted to say yes.

“I don’t think I’m ready,” he whispered in reply. “I’m… I’m sorry. Maybe when they’re gone I could-”

“No,” Jin Ling said quickly. “If you’re not ready, you’re not ready. I would never make you do it if you don’t want to.”

Lan Sizhui’s heart grew three sizes. Yes, he was definitely in love with this man.

“What do we do then?,” he asked further. “They think we’re going to do it.”

Suddenly Jin Ling slapped the bed, and some of the voices outside quieted down.

“Oh, a rough one, that Sect Leader!” He and others laughed at the comment, and Lan Sizhui figured out what Jin Ling was trying to do.

He made sure to ruffle the sheets and blankets of the bed, trying to make as much noise with his clothes as he possibly could.

“Oh Jin Ling!,” he called out as if surprised. “You’re so strong.”

Beside him, Jin Ling almost snorted as he laughed, pressing a hand to his mouth. If they were going to pretend to have sex, they might as well make it fun for them. Jin Ling started banging on the wall as if the bed were hitting against it.

“Oh Sect Leader,” Lan Sizhui tried his hand at moaning, and something in Jin Ling’s expression changed when he did so. But very slowly he joined him.

The two were between laughing and being embarrassed as they did this. Lan Sizhui thought that Jin Ling moaning, whether it be pretend or not, was somewhat attractive though he did not know what to do with that. They ended up getting a little wild, maybe too wild as the crowd outside decided that they could not continue to listen to this.

In the end they fell onto the messed up bed, laughing together. Lan Sizhui turned to look at Jin Ling, who did the same thing. This was still his best friend right here, and now they would never part again.

“Maybe this whole thing isn’t so bad,” Jin Ling said quietly. He reached out for once to take Lan Sizhui’s hand, usually it seemed to be the other way around. “Being married to my best friend. We don’t have to wait for the next night hunt.”

“Yeah,” Lan Sizhui agreed, squeezing his hand. “I like being so close to you. The… The chambers I mean.”

They looked at each other for a few moments, Jin Ling’s gaze seemed to wander a little lower.

“You look really beautiful today,” he whispered.

Was he inching closer? Lan Sizhui’s heart once more threatened to burst.

“You too!,” he blurted out. “H-Handsome I mean!”

Damn it. He had ruined it.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After their wedding party, Lan Sizhui and Jin Ling have to get used to their new life as a married couple. After some awkward misunderstanding, the two find closer to one another.

Lan Sizhui got up quickly, mentally scolding himself for not thinking through what he was saying. Calling a Sect Leader beautiful?! Any compliment would have been better than that! He couldn’t make himself turn to face Jin Ling, so he slowly went towards the door of his chambers and listened if there were any other people outside. There was the noise of celebration a little ways away, and more fireworks going off every so often. Somehow Lan Sizhui had forgotten that this was a reason to celebrate. Both Sects would be doing this well into the night.

“Should we go back?,” he asked. “We should probably make another appearance, right?”

“Already?,” came Jin Ling’s voice rather close behind him, and Lan Sizhui jumped a little. “They think uh… we’re doing it.”

“Well… how long does it usually take?,” Lan Sizhui asked, feeling himself blush again. He didn’t even know such a simple thing.

“I’m… not sure.”

Silence fell between the two as they awkwardly stood there.

“Maybe we’ll just give it some more time,” he suggested, and Jin Ling nodded.

Slowly they wandered off a little, and Lan Sizhui took in the splendour that were Jin Ling’s chambers. Beautiful swords were put up on one wall and he curiously eyed them. They were very finely made, bore jewels that surely cost more than… Lan Sizhui had a hard time imagining how much everything in here had cost. Even the fabrics of the curtains were so soft to the touch he couldn’t help but marvel at them.

Finally on one of the desks he saw a flute made from a very delicate white material. It was decorated with gold, as was common in the Lanling Jin sect, and finished with a golden tassel. Lan Sizhui turned to look for Jin Ling, who seemed as if he had been watching him walk around. He quickly averted his gaze.

“Ling, do you play?,” he asked.

“Ah I tried a little,” Jin Ling actually looked a bit embarrassed. “But it’s difficult. And I haven’t been able to spend much time on it.”

“Yes, I suppose you’re very busy. Even more so now,” he thought out loud. “But we can shoulder that burden together now.”

He smiled at Jin Ling, trying to encourage him. But he just seemed to be even more embarrassed.

“I didn’t mean to imply you couldn’t do it on your own,” he added quickly. “Just that… I guess that’s what I’m here for…”

With every word that came out of his mouth he felt that he just made the situation worse. How did he manage to keep saying the wrong thing?! While it had been so easy to be with his friend before, now everything had suddenly changed. They were still in their wedding clothes, and Lan Sizhui looked down at them.

Hadn’t Jin Ling called him beautiful? Lan Sizhui wondered if he had meant it.

“Sh-Should I play something for you?,” he offered, just to fill the silence.

“Oh,” Jin Ling looked up at him suddenly, surprised. “Yes. I would like that. Your things should have been brought to your chambers.”

Lan Sizhui nodded and they returned to the hidden hallway, just in case someone was still out there. They were supposed to be having sex right now after all. The thought made him nervous somehow. It wasn’t like they really had to do it one day, unless they wanted to. But Jin Ling wasn’t a cut sleeve, as one of the men had stated before. Somehow that thought hadn’t entered Lan Sizhui’s mind before.

He was in love with his friend that could never return his feelings.

His hands were shaking a little and he busied himself pretending to straighten out his robes once they had arrived on the other side. He didn’t want Jin Ling to notice what had been going on in his head, that he felt like an utter fool hoping that he could return what he felt.

“It’s over here,” Jin Ling made him turn, and Lan Sizhui forced a smile. There was a low table with a blue pillow behind that he could sit on, his guqin laying on top of it.

Right. He was going to play for him. He focused on this instead of any heartache that was threatening to overtake him. This room felt so much like home, but in front of him sat his husband. His fingers touched the strings, playing the first few notes of a familiar melody that his father often played for Wei Wuxian. But that was too private, he hadn’t even been supposed to hear it. Something in his heart just longed for it.

“Sizhui?,” Jin Ling made him look up. “Everything alright?”

“Yes uhm. Do you have a preference what you’d like to hear?”

“Oh. Not really. Everything you play is beautiful.”

Lan Sizhui smiled. They were all pieces that had been taught by Lan Wangji after all. He agreed that they were all beautiful, even if they did have some less beautiful purposes. But if he was going to play, he may as well help Jin Ling while doing it. His fingers moved on their own, beginning the first notes of ‘Cleansing’. It was a difficult piece but Lan Wangji had always urged him to practice and master it. While he wasn’t as good as his father, he was confident in his own playing.

Jin Ling had closed his eyes, and every so often Lan Sizhui could look up to watch him. Maybe it wasn’t quite so bad, even if Jin Ling didn’t return his feelings. Because looking at him now, taking in his delicate yet sharp features and how handsome he was, Lan Sizhui felt rather at ease. Maybe this was enough. They could go back to being comfortable with each other, find joy in their new positions. Jin Ling, from now on, would always only be a few steps away from him.

Yes, he could take comfort in that fact.

By the end of the song he was smiling again, and when Jin Ling opened his eyes once more he returned that smile.

“Thank you,” he said softly.

Lan Sizhui let his hands rest on the guqin for a while longer.

“Isn’t it so strange that we are sitting here in red?,” he asked. “A month ago I would not have expected this.”

Jin Ling chuckled and nodded.

“At least I’m here with my best friend,” he replied. “I always thought that I would end up in a marriage such as this. I thought it would be with someone I wouldn’t like, I mean, what are the chances a marriage of convenience would be with someone you like. But this is, you know. Not awful.”

“Agreed.”

“Why did you say yes?,” Jin Ling asked. “You didn’t have to do it.”

Lan Sizhui swallowed and nervously plucked on a string. He had only realised after saying yes that his feelings for Jin Ling had changed. He could still confess to him right this moment. But the awkwardness between them had just passed, and he didn’t wish to create it once again.

“It was the right thing to do,” he said instead. “For my sect, for yours. For my friend. If doing this helps us all, I am happy to do it.”

“You are a lot like Hanguang Jun,” Jin Ling said softly.

“Ah, not really. I could never be as strong as him.”

“I think that one day you will be,” Jin Ling replied. Lan Sizhui looked at him for longer now, searching in his eyes whether he really believed this to be true. He was working hard, but to be like his father? That seemed impossible. “It’s probably enough time now. We should go back.”

Lan Sizhui nodded, and the two left through the door of his chambers, not bothering to return through the hidden hallway. No one saw them exit anyway, and they followed the way they had come to return to the celebrations, where a lot of cultivators were already inebriated.

As a member of the Lan Sect he had never partaken in alcohol before, and had always wondered why Wei Wuxian and others liked it so much. They were immediately greeted and cheers came from people nearby.

“An hour! Our Sect Leader surely has some great stamina,” came from a man to their left. Both of them tried not to blush at the comment, and avoided looking at each other. Apparently an hour was a lot.

Others came to congratulate them again, but finally through the crowd two familiar faces pushed through. Lan Jingyi and Ouyang Zizhen. Never before had Lan Sizhui been so happy to see them, and he and Jin Ling rushed forward to meet them.

“You’re here!,” he called out towards Ouyang Zizhen. “I didn’t know!”

“Miss my friends’ wedding?! Never!,” he proclaimed. “You two sure do clean up nicely.”

“Of course we do,” Jin Ling stood a little taller. Seeing their two friends it was like they were back on a night hunt. A feeling so familiar yet bittersweet, knowing that their next hunt would most likely be quite some time from now on. “Among all the Sects we are surely the most handsome couple.”

Lan Sizhui blushed. Couple. He had called them that.

“Someone’s rather full of himself,” Lan Jingyi rolled his eyes, but grinned at them. Somehow though that smile didn’t seem to reach his eyes. Lan Sizhui frowned, but his friend avoided looking at him. Maybe he should have taken off this dress and changed into his usual robes, so he would look less like a girl and embarrass his friend. He didn’t seem to have an issue looking at Jin Ling.

“I’m only stating the truth,” Jin Ling insisted. “Zizhen agrees with me.”

“Oh do I now?,” Ouyang Zizhen laughed with him.

At that moment a servant passed them, and stopped. She was holding up a tray with a few small cups filled with a clear liquid, and offered it to them.

“Sect Leader, young masters, would you care for a drink?”

Finally Lan Jingyi looked at him again, mischief in his eyes.

“We’re not at Cloud Recesses,” he said. “And it’s a celebration. Lan Qiren will never know about it. And well, I suppose he can’t discipline you anymore.”

“Ohhh try it, let’s try it!,” Ouyang Zizhen urged them on. He reached for the cups and gave them all one. It seemed that he was familiar with alcohol. “Corrupting the Lan Sect’s disciples. My favourite thing.”

Lan Jingyi nudged him, but they all took up their cups and downed them in one go. The liquid tasted sharp, and felt hot as it settled in his belly. They returned their cups and looked at each other expectantly, as if one drink would change them completely.

“That’s a little underwhelming,” Lan Jingyi told them. “I thought we were going to- Sizhui!”

His vision had gone black. He found himself an unknown time later to wake up in Jin Ling’s arm, with a crowd of concerning faces around him. He had been brought inside somewhere, and even his fathers seemed to have been alerted. They both looked at him worriedly.

“Wha… Wha happen?,” he tried to ask, but his tongue felt a little difficult to move. His vision too was still a little fuzzy, was it all from that drink?

“You have got to be kidding me,” Wei Wuxian blurted out, suddenly in a laughing fit.

“What? What is it?,” Jin Ling asked him.

Lan Sizhui was still in his arms. He felt warm and strong and even smelled nice. He didn’t want to leave here.

Wei Wuxian laughed so hard that tears streamed down his face, and Lan Wangji had to hold him up. He had a knowing look in his eyes, glancing at Lan Sizhui every so often.

“He- He,” Wei Wuxian was still catching his breath. “He gets drunk just like Lan Zhan. Fall asleep first, get drunk later! Is this a Lan thing?!”

“I didn’t fall asleep!,” Lan Jingyi pointed out. His cheek were a little red and he was smiling. “That’s hilarious though. We thought you had passed out from alcohol poisoning!”

“I feel fine!,” Lan Sizhui told them, his speech still slurred. “Just had a little nap.”

Jin Ling helped him sit up, but that meant he wasn’t going to be in his embrace any longer.

“Not fine after all,” he said quickly, pushing back against Jin Ling as if he were going to pass out again.

“Sizhui?” Jin Ling’s face was so close now, and he was so worried. There was also bit of red in his cheeks from the alcohol, and Lan Sizhui thought that it just made him more handsome. If he were any braver, he could kiss him right here and now, but he didn’t want to be pushed away out of disgust. Being in Jin Ling’s embrace was the next best thing. Though looking over, he suddenly also had the overwhelming urge to be in Lan Jingyi’s arms.

That was weird.

He blinked at him a few times.

“Is there something on my face?,” Lan Jingyi asked.

“I don’t know. Maybe,” he replied.

Jin Ling started looking back and forth at them, then pulled Lan Sizhui a little closer. He could almost hear Jin Ling’s heart beating, but it was difficult to look away from Lan Jingyi. Somehow his brain wasn’t working right. It took Wei Wuxian kneeling in front of him to finally make him look away, while behind him Lan Jingyi started rubbing his face and turning to Ouyang Zizhen to ask what was wrong.

Wei Wuxian too looked back and forth for a while, but seemed a lot less confused.

“Sizhui, let’s get you some fresh air, come on,” he said, and helped pull him up.

Lan Sizhui pouted. Why did he have to drag him away from Jin Ling?! When would he ever get this chance again? He looked back at his _husband_ as he was dragged outside, who seemed to look a little lost at the moment. But Wei Wuxian was firm, and Lan Wangji followed behind them.

“One day out of Cloud Recesses and you’re drinking alcohol,” Wei Wuxian scolded. Suddenly Lan Sizhui felt tears well up in his eyes.

“Please don’t tell Lan Qiren! Don’t tell father,” he cried out.

Someone behind them cleared his throat, and when Lan Sizhui turned around, it was Lan Wangji! When had he gotten here!

“Your secret’s safe,” Lan Wangji said.

Lan Sizhui turned to run into his arms.

“You’re the best father in the whole wide world,” he said. A large hand came to gently pat the top of his head.

“Hey I’m here too,” Wei Wuxian complained.

“I love you too,” Lan Sizhui murmured, turning to hug him as well.

“Oh dear, the Lans simply have no capacity for alcohol,” Wei Wuxian sighed.

The two led Lan Sizhui to a more quiet part of the sect’s ground. On the way Wei Wuxian seemed to have stolen some food, and put a morsel of it into his mouth, making him eat it. It was damn delicious, why hadn’t they eaten before?! Oh right, because they were pretending to have sex.

“Is the marriage not real if you don’t really have sex?,” Lan Sizhui asked with his mouth full.

“What?!” Wei Wuxian grabbed his hands and looked at him seriously. “Did he make you sleep with him?”

Lan Sizhui shook his head.

“He asked if I wanted to. I kind of do. But I wasn’t prepared, I don’t know how…,” he trailed off. “He said he wouldn’t make me if I didn’t want to.”

A smile curled on his lips.

“He’s very sweet.”

Wei Wuxian breathed a sigh of relief.

“The kid’s good after all,” he said. “And he’s right. You shouldn’t do something you don’t want to do, or aren’t ready for. About that other stuff…”

Lan Sizhui listened intently as Wei Wuxian explained the more intricate details of sleeping with another man. It was all so scandalous, but Lan Sizhui was growing more and more sober and wanted to remember all of this. Just in case this ever happened for him. Behind him, Lan Wangji seemed to be very very glad that his partner was taking care of this conversation.

“If you want to, I can send you some oils.”

Lan Sizhui nodded.

“Thank you, papa.” He sighed. “It’s so strange. I feel so happy and kind of sad at the same time…”

He drifted off, looking over to the busier part of the celebration, where right now Jin Ling and his friends were surely having a lot of fun.

“He’s so handsome,” he said softly. “Like Jingyi…”

Why exactly did he associate the two this closely? They weren’t very alike at all. A hand came to take his, Wei Wuxian’s.

“It’s going to be confusing in life every so often. I promise we’ll come visit whenever we can, you’re not alone, even if we are apart.”

Lan Sizhui nodded again, and made himself smile. He didn’t want his fathers to worry about him.

“Keep practising the qin,” Lan Wangji reminded him. “You’re very good.”

“I will,” he promised. “Oh, papa, I forgot to ask, what about your golden core…”

Slowly a very large smile spread on Wei Wuxian’s face.

“Close your eyes. You tell me,” he said to Lan Sizhui.

He did as he was told, reaching out not with his sight, but his deeper senses. He could feel his own golden core, and the much larger one of Lan Wangji. It was so bright it was threatening to overwhelm everything else around him, but the longer he reached out like this, the more he was able to distinct different energies. They were all around him, not just from them as cultivators, but from the living organisms in this world.

Then he finally noticed it. Not as large as Lan Wangji’s, but slightly more powerful than his own. Within Wei Wuxian was a new golden core. Solid. Strong. Beautiful.

“A-Yuan, don’t cry,” Wei Wuxian’s gentle voice made him open his eyes again. When had he started crying? He quickly wiped those tears away and smiled.

“You did it!,” he cried out. “You formed a new golden core!”

The way he hugged Wei Wuxian was so forceful that they both fell back onto Lan Wangji. He remained steady and caught them both, slowly embracing them as well. Lan Sizhui and Wei Wuxian laughed together, happy and relieved that it had finally happened. Wei Wuxian could continue his cultivation, and grow as strong as Lan Wangji once more! All he ever wanted for his fathers was that they could live happily ever after.

“We’ll leave some time in the morning with the rest,” Wei Wuxian continued. “Get some rest, okay? You’ll be fine here?”

“I will,” Lan Sizhui promised. “I learned from you after all.”

“Oh now you’re just flattering me. Please continue.”

Together they laughed and as Lan Sizhui felt better now, they returned to the feast so he had more opportunity to spend time with his friends. He refrained from alcohol for now, disliking what it did to him, but sitting by Jin Ling’s side amongst his friends and other juniors of their sects, he had fun all the same. They recounted tales of their night hunts to the people around them, and Lan Sizhui made sure to praise Jin Ling whenever he could, just to make sure that this Sect Leader was admired by everyone - as he deserved.

When he noticed Lan Jingyi looking a bit upset that he was constantly in the spotlight, Lan Sizhui made sure to recount _his_ exploits as well. Some of the people around them were surprised to hear such things of Lan Jingyi, which made Lan Sizhui angry. They only saw what they wanted to see in him, refusing to believe that he could be more capable than he seemed.

Jin Ling eventually seemed to notice what he was doing, joining him with his own particular details of their stories, but every so often he would glance at Lan Sizhui in a strange way.

It was early in the morning when the celebration finally ebbed off. As the sects would only be leaving in the afternoon after everyone had gotten some rest, Lan Sizhui and Jin Ling retired to their quarters. Jin Ling escorted him right to his front door, and bowed to him. Lan Sizhui took his arms and made him stand up straight once more.

“I don’t think that’s necessary between us now, don’t you think?”

“But I uh… maybe,” Jin Ling finished. “It… It was kind of fun, wasn’t it?”

“I don’t think I’ve ever been this nervous in my life, but yes… it was,” he replied. “Get some rest now… husband.”

He said so teasingly, and Jin Ling had to grin as he shoved him away.

“Don’t say it like that!” But they both laughed and teased each other as ‘husbands’ for a little while longer.

“Thank you, A-Ling. For these rooms. It really does help.”

Jin Ling looked rather bashful as he scratched the back of his head.

“I’m uh… I’m glad then. Good night. We still have to see them all off tomorrow. Well, after we sleep.”

Lan Sizhui nodded and they finally parted. So many thoughts were still floating in his head, so many things had happened - he got married! But it was so late that his mind was overwhelmed with the need to sleep, and without undressing himself he simply fell on his very soft and comfortable bed, and was out like a light within seconds.

A few hours later he was woken by gentle knocks on his door. Thinking it was Jin Ling, Lan Sizhui rushed towards it, still in his wedding robes with his hair dishevelled and his make up smudged. He opened the door to see a young woman standing there in the yellow golden robes of the Lanling Jin sect. She bowed to him.

“Young master Lan, I am Jin Bai, it is my pleasure to meet you,” she said. “I have been tasked to be your personal servant.”

Lan Sizhui blinked at her. She was about the same height as he was, with a delicately round face and gentle green eyes. Her dark hair was tied in a high bun, with a few streaks of hair falling into her face. She righted herself up and smiled.

“The Gusu Lan sect will depart soon, please let me help you freshen up.”

“Oh. Oh right!,” he said, finally stepping back to let her inside. “I’m Lan Sizhui.”

“I know,” she said with a rather amused smile. “Though, shouldn’t it be Jin Sizhui now?”

“Oh I… I hadn’t thought of that.” He felt a little stupid. So many things came with this marriage that seemed so out of his depth. “I guess I will have to ask A-Ling.”

“Let me prepare a bath for you,” she said, going into another room that Lan Sizhui hadn’t even entered into yet. A large wooden bathtub was there, rather rustic compared to other things of the Jin sect, but it reminded him of home once more. “I’ve already had water heated up.”

“Th-Thank you. I uhm… Jin Bai?”

“Yes, young master?”

“Er… Please just call me Sizhui. I uhm. I have to admit I’ve never had a servant before. I can do these things by myself if it troubles you.”

Jin Bai let out a small laugh.

“That is very kind of you, but as the Sect Leader’s husband you will be very busy soon,” she replied. “Please let me take care of such things.”

“Okay, uhm. That makes sense.”

“Though I do appreciate your candour,” she continued. “I have the feeling we shall get along just fine.”

“Yeah… me too,” he said, smiling now.

As Jin Bai got busy preparing his bath and he stripped out of the wedding robes finally. With only the lighter red simple robe around him he glanced briefly at the hidden hallways that led to Jin Ling’s rooms. Was this normal for him, he wondered? Having people work for him, take care of all these things.

With the prospect of another busy day ahead of him he slipped into the tub, where Jin Bai left him to clean up himself, while preparing tea and his robes in the other room. She slid them into the bathroom while behind the door so that she did not see anything that was indecent. She seemed to be a real professional and knew what she was doing… unlike Lan Sizhui.

But he felt comfortable with her soon enough. When he was struggling with these new robes she was there to help him out. She brushed his hair and put some of it up in his familiar hair style, but then reached out for his headband.

“Don’t!,” he said quickly, grasping her wrist.

“Is something wrong?,” she asked, surprised.

“It uhm… You can’t touch it. Only parents are allowed and uhm… partners,” he told her, blushing furiously thinking that technically now Jin Ling would be able to.

“Oh I apologise!,” Jin Bai said quickly. “I am not quite that familiar with the Lan sect, I am so sorry.”

“It’s fine, it’s not widely known,” he let go of her hand, instead adjusting his headband himself. “It symbolises restraint, so we don’t take it off very often.”

“I see. It’s interesting how different our sects can be.”

“Are you also a cultivator?,” Lan Sizhui asked. He had to admit, having someone to do his hair was kind of nice. Her hands were gentle and skilled.

“Ah, I hope to be,” she said. “I have learned a few things and have a sword, but have not created a golden core yet.”

“Then why does the sect use you as a servant? You should be studying instead.”

“Ah, things are not always easy,” Jin Bai sighed a little. “I was taken in and I have the chance to work hard and maybe I will be recognised as a proper disciple one day. Until then I do not mind this kind of work.”

Lan Sizhui looked at her in the mirror that he was sitting in front of. She definitely was a hard working person, and perhaps being the Sect Leader’s husband he would be able to do something for her. He could sense some of the spiritual power she had gathered, it would not take much longer to create a golden core.

For now he had to get ready to meet Jin Ling once more. He did look rather refined in these new robes that combined the colour of the Lanling Jin sect with the cloud patterns of the Gusu Lan sect.

“Who thought of this design?,” he asked Jin Bai.

“I believe it was the Sect Leader himself. He has put in a lot of effort in the hopes of pleasing you.”

“Did he really?”

He looked at himself in the mirror again. All of this had been Jin Ling? Not just the rooms, even the clothes, and the kind of breakfast he had gotten, it was all almost like it was back at Cloud Recesses. To think that Jin Ling had not chosen these randomly, but thought of Lan Sizhui’s comfort instead filled his chest with warmth.

“Sect Leader cares for you. That much I can tell.”

“Well, we are good friends,” Lan Sizhui replied, seeing Jin Bai smile at him in a knowing way in the mirror. He didn’t quite know how to interpret that smile, but he was soon busy with other things.

Jin Ling came to knock on his door, picking him up so that they could say their goodbyes to the Gusu Lan sect members that had come to celebrate. It was an arduous process, saying the same things over and over to every group coming to say goodbye. He only really enjoyed it when it was Wei Wuxian with Lan Wangji and Lan Xichen, but his heart also ached seeing them walk off just like that. They would return to Cloud Recesses, and he would remain here.

Jin Ling took his hand as he watched them go, and he clasped it tightly trying to not let his tears fall.

When all of them had gone, only one person remained. Ouyang Zizhen had said goodbye to them earlier along with his father, but here stood Lan Jingyi. Alone and rather pitiful. Lan Sizhui’s heart tightened up, and felt like it might stop at any moment. He walked closer to him and grasped his hands in his own.

“That’s… That’s a nice robe you’re wearing,” Lan Jingyi said, his voice shaking. It was already obvious he was going to cry, and when he cried, Lan Sizhui would cry.

And so they both cried, holding onto each other.

“I’m not going to be gone forever,” Lan Jingyi cried out.

“I know! Neither am I!,” he replied.

“Then why are you crying?!”

“I’m crying because you’re crying,” Lan Sizhui pointed out.

“But I’m… Damn it, Sizhui!,” Lan Jingyi called out. “You have to promise to come back soon!”

“Okay, okay Jingyi, I will.”

“And that you’re not going to be all stuck up like some of the Jins are,” he continued.

“I won’t. I’m still a Lan, you know.” Tears were freely streaming down his face. Why was it so hard to say goodbye to Lan Jingyi?! He had known this moment would come, and it wasn’t the end of their friendship. But why did it hurt so much?

Suddenly Lan Jingyi pulled him into a hug, and Lan Sizhui realised that this was the first one that they had ever shared. His hands came to cling to the back of Lan Jingyi’s robes, holding onto him as tightly as he possibly could while his friend did the same. Lan Sizhui pressed his face into the crook of his neck, as if doing that would somehow stop his tears.

But it did not.

They clung to each other tightly, both crying and unable to say anything else. It must have been a pitiful sight, two men crying for each other in this way. Lan Sizhui looked up at his friend after what felt like forever, and he just couldn’t cry anymore.

“Jingyi…”

Lan Jingyi was leaning even closer, his hand coming to the back of Lan Sizhui’s head. Something was about to happen, Lan Sizhui could feel it, but he just didn’t understand what it could be. He was mesmerised by the look in his friend’s eyes, something like determination. But Jin Ling behind them cleared his throat, and finally the two separated. Lan Sizhui rubbed his eyes, adjusted his robes to be presentable once more. This was really silly, the way they acted.

“We’ll see each other again soon,” he told Lan Jingyi. “When we have a chance to go night hunt, I will send a message to you.”

“You- You better,” Lan Jingyi replied. He too was trying to wipe away his tears. “And Jin Ling?”

Said person had walked up to them now, looking at them with a strange look, like he disapproved of what had just happened.

“You better take good care of him,” Lan Jingyi continued.

Jin Ling looked rather seriously when he nodded to him.

“He’s my husband now, Jingyi. I promise that I will.”

Lan Sizhui wanted to protest that he didn’t actually need anyone to take care of him, that he was capable of doing that himself. But something about these two caring so much about him made him unable to speak. Instead he felt warmth inside him, despite the imminent departure of Lan Jingyi.

Finally, Lan Jingyi nodded at Jin Ling.

“Then I will leave him in your hands,” he replied. He approached Jin Ling, and held out his hand. When the other took it, he pulled him into a hug. Lan Sizhui watched them embrace for a few moments, then they pulled back and nodded at each other, as if they had come to some sort of agreement.

And just like that, Lan Jingyi returned to Cloud Recesses.

For a few moments Lan Sizhui felt alone. That no one else was here on this grand plaza of the Lanling Jin sect. That there was no one to support him, or help him in these new tasks that he would have to deal with. But then a hand rested on his shoulder, and Lan Sizhui turned to look up at Jin Ling.

Not quite all alone.

He tried to smile, feeling very silly at the moment.

“I’m sorry,” he finally said.

“For what?”

“Acting like that with Jingyi… It’s not really becoming of a Sect Leader’s husband, is it?”

Jin Ling just shrugged.

“I’m Sect Leader now, and I say it’s okay,” he told him.

“Well I guess I don’t need to apologise after all.”

Jin Ling nodded and took him back to his chambers. As most of the sect was currently hungover it was a quiet rest of the day for them, that they used to spend time together, have tea and Jin Ling showing him every part of their sect so that he would become familiar with his surroundings. He also introduced him to a few more important members of the sect, all of them bowing deeply for them.

It was a strange feeling, to be the leader of something. Or rather to be the husband of a leader. Still, this position held power too.

Lan Sizhui did his best to remember as many faces and names as he could, still thinking about Jin Ling’s words, the worry that there were people in this sect that were against them. He would make it his task to find out if that was true, and remove them so that they could never hurt Jin Ling. If he had a purpose in life, this was now it.

But as they walked that pond came into view again, the one that was growing lotus pods. He remembered these when they were at Yunmeng, but they didn’t seem native to the local area, so it was a strange thing to see.

“Why are there lotus pods here?,” he asked Jin Ling who had just finished talking to another Jin sect member.

“Oh, that,” he walked up to him, and joined in watching the peaceful pond. “I’ve been told my father planted these for my mother. So she would feel less homesick.”

“That’s so sweet,” Lan Sizhui sighed. But he also took a careful look at Jin Ling. His parents were always a sore topic, but he didn’t seem upset at the moment. “He must have really loved her.”

Jin Ling nodded, but didn’t say another word. Worried that he was going to upset him commenting on this further, he urged him on to have dinner together. That night it was just the two of them, being served dishes that were rather plain and reminded Lan Sizhui of the food at Cloud Recesses. Jin Ling must have made a lot of research to be able to have them recreated this way, and it brought a smile to his face. His friend was really trying very hard to make him feel at home.

After that their days became much more busy. They had to supervise disciples that were already in the sect and deal with potential new ones, making sure the sect could return to its former strength. For a few days Jiang Cheng was still with them, counselling Jin Ling. Lan Sizhui paid close attention to his uncle, who was always strong and had good advice to offer, he wanted to be that way for Jin Ling too once he had to return to his own sect.

Then there were inner sect matters to deal with, new problems that popped up with each day, and sometimes outsiders from the nearby regions would come by to petition the sect for aid. About a week later, when Jiang Cheng had curiously left with Nie Huaisang and left the two to lead the sect alone, a peasant from a village a few days out had come to ask for aid. Some of the lookout towers that Jin Guangyao had built weren’t staffed anymore, a task that Jin Ling had neglected as it brought uncomfortable memories with it. But that being the case, the sect hadn’t learned of the ghoul problem until this man had personally informed them of it.

“They seem to be growing in numbers,” the man had explained. “Every day there are more. Too many people have died. Please, I beg you to send help.”

Jin Ling nodded, looking rather serious.

“I will take care of this matter immediately.”

The man looked so relieved, but Lan Sizhui leaned in closer to his husband.

“Shouldn’t we send someone?,” he suggested. “You’re still so busy, we could arrange a group of experienced members with some juniors. Ghouls should not be too much trouble so it would be a good learning experience.”

“Ah, yes,” Jin Ling replied. He looked so disappointed but righted himself quickly, appearing once more confident in front of this outsider. He turned to one of his closer subordinates. “Make sure to send a group, at least twenty. If they grow in number they might be trouble. Take some juniors for experience.”

The cultivator nodded and bowed, leaving the hall immediately. Jin Ling ordered another servant to prepare one of the guest quarters for the man, so that he could rest and be sent on his way with fresh supplies when their group would leave as well. He thanked Jin Ling profusely as he was escorted out.

“Ahhhhhh,” Jin Ling sighed when they were alone again, the confident man was replaced by an annoyed youth. “I really wanted to go out hunting…”

“I know it’s not ideal…”

“No, no… it was the right thing to do,” Jin Lin replied. He turned to smile at Lan Sizhui, who felt his heart flutter again. “You’re good at this.”

Lan Sizhui beamed when hearing those words.

“I’m glad I was able to help,” he said softly.

“Honestly, if you weren’t here, I would be so terrified.”

“You’re doing a good job yourself, I haven’t yet seen anyone disagree with your decisions either. They seem to be following your orders without question.”

“It’s only been a few days since Jiang Cheng left, it felt like as long as he was here they wouldn’t dare to,” Jin Ling sighed. “I hope I can be like him.”

“I hope you don’t forget how to smile though,” Lan Sizhui teased. “He always looks very… serious.”

“Oh don’t worry, I’ll still be laughing at Jingyi’s stupid jokes- ah,” Jin Ling broke off quickly and looked away.

They hadn’t brought up anyone from Cloud Recesses since they had left, and in some way Lan Sizhui was grateful for it. Thinking of some of them, like Jingyi, made him miss his former home so terribly. It seemed that they both did, with the way Jin Ling was avoiding looking at him at the moment. Perhaps it was time soon to ask Jingyi to visit them. He didn’t want Jin Ling to not have fun anymore, just because he was Sect Leader. And besides, sects visited each other to keep up good relations all the time.

He would come up with an excuse for Jin Ling and Lan Jingyi to meet again. Wasn’t part of being a husband to make sure that your spouse was happy? Lan Sizhui wanted to do that for Jin Ling with all his heart.

But for the day it was time to retire to sleep.

Screams filled what would have been a quiet night in Burial Mounds. They echoed from everywhere, amplified by the mountain in which they lived. It was difficult to see, the ground was covered in so much red dirt. But among those screams were the voices of men, strange men that he was unable to recognise.

With great effort Yuan pushed himself up. He was so dirty, too. Red covered his dirty robes and his hands, it was even on his face. It finally sank in that this was blood. Shed by his family, his friends.

Men in differently coloured robes were killing his family. He watched them all die, heard their screams, their voices begging to be spared. But those tall men didn’t look at him. Could they not see?

Someone was shouting at him to run. And so he did, as fast as his little feet could carry him. He did not know where, he only knew Burial Mounds. Where was Wei Wuxian? Where was Wen Ning? Maybe if he found them, maybe Wen Qing could help him! But hadn’t they left them?

He knew not to cry out for them, though his voice didn’t want to be contained. If he was going to make it, he had to hide! It took all the strength his little body could muster to climb into that hollowed out tree, it took him a few failed attempts that cut his body and let his own blood mingle with that of his family.

Then, he was finally inside. But it wasn’t over. Those screams. All those screams. They went on for so long.

And then there was only silence.

Lan Sizhui woke with a start, covered in sweat. Panic was in his heart, and the surroundings looked so unfamiliar to him that it did not want to settle. He did not care that he was merely in his undergarments, a loose white robe wrapped around him, or that his hair was not done up. His body moved on its own to the hidden hallway, he crouched on all fours to scramble through as fast as he could. With how tight it was, it reminded him of the tree. Stuck there, for days until someone had taken him out.

“Ji-Jin Ling,” his voice was hoarse, but he had finally made it to the other side. “Jin Ling!”

He stumbled over his own feet, eventually just falling on Jin Ling’s bed who heard his voice and felt his movements that he slowly sat up. When he saw the state of Lan Sizhui right here in his bed, his eyes widened.

Lan Sizhui had started to cry. Tears streamed freely down his face.

“What happened?,” Jin Ling asked, pulling him closer. “Are you hurt? Did someone attack you?”

With jerky movements he shook his head. It was difficult to speak.

“A night- a nightmare,” he brought out.

Jin Ling seemed to relax somewhat, and drew him even closer, an arm wrapped around his shoulders.

“It’s okay now, it’s over. Do you want to talk about it?”

When Lan Sizhui did not seem to be able to calm down at all, he became more agitated again. He couldn’t stop the tears, he just couldn’t.

“They all died, I saw it, I forgot but I remembered,” it was hard to form coherent thoughts, the dread in his chest seemed to constrict his breathing.

“Who? Who died?”

“My friends, my family, all of the Wens that were in Burial Mounds! They were all killed I could hear them scream I could see them fall one by one. There was so much blood it was everywhere Jin Ling! It was on my hands is it on my hands?!” He looked down and in the darkness it seemed that his hands were still covered in blood, just much larger than they had been before. He grasped his robes to try and wipe them clean but it wouldn’t go away.

Quickly Jin Ling grasped his hands and made him stop trying to clean them.

“There’s nothing on your hands, just look,” he said, pushing them further up where they caught some of the moonlight shining through the window. “They’re clean. Your hands are clean.”

“Jin Ling… I…”

“It’s okay,” suddenly, Lan Sizhui was pulled against his bare chest. Jin Ling was just sleeping in soft cotton pants. The warmth against him felt soothing. “Stay here tonight. I’ll make sure you don’t have to remember again.”

Lan Sizhui nodded against his chest. He was being gently held but the terror of the memory still clung to him. In the silence, Jin Ling spoke again.

“Why were you with the Wens?”

“I…” He hadn’t realised what he was saying. “Before… before I came to Cloud Recesses my name was Wen Yuan.”

Jin Ling stiffened for a moment.

“I’m… I’m so sorry, Jin Ling. I should have told you before, it’s just that I only remembered it a while back. If this comes out… I shouldn’t have become your husband.”

Tears rolled down his cheeks for a different reason now. He was a liability for Jin Ling. If anyone found out, they’d want to kill him too, wouldn’t they? All the Wens had to be eradicated. There had even been the yellow golden robes of the Lanling Jin clan in his dream.

“No one will find out,” Jin Ling simply said. “I don’t care what your name used to be. You’re Yuan. Sizhui. You’re still my husband.”

“Ling…,” Lan Sizhui trailed off, and remained where he was, unsure when this embrace would end. His heart was slowly settling down, but he was afraid to close his eyes again.

“I’m sorry,” Jin Ling whispered. “I know my sect was involved.”

“It’s…” He couldn’t say that it was alright. He still mourned these people years later. He always would. “It’s in the past now.”

“I’ll never be a Sect Leader like this,” Jin Ling sounded so earnest. His heart was steady, Lan Sizhui could hear it with his head pressed against his chest. “I would never do such an injustice.”

“I know.”

Jin Ling hugged him a little tighter, something pressed to the top of his head, and Jin Ling sighed. As much as he wanted to stay here, he did not want to bother Jin Ling for much longer and made himself sit up. Though it was rather dark in here he could see that his hair was a little dishevelled, like his own. Unbound, it spilled over his chest. His bare chest.

His cheeks flushed a little red, despite his nightmare. Jin Ling was rather toned, slim but bigger than himself. He had to restrain himself from letting his gaze wander further down, and some of what Wei Wuxian had told him came back to him.

He was startled when Jin Ling suddenly moved forward. But he didn’t push him off his bed for staring at him, instead he reached towards his headband, and carefully straightened it. Where Lan Sizhui’s cheeks had been slightly warm before, now they were flaming hot.

“Oh wait,” Jin Ling said. “Wasn’t there something about you Lans with the headbands?”

Lan Sizhui nodded.

“But you’re allowed to,” he said quietly, not trusting his voice.

“I am?”

“Y-yeah. We’re married.” He left it at that, he didn’t have the courage to tell Jin Ling that he wanted him to continue. Wanted him to caress him the way Wei Wuxian did with his father.

“I see,” Jin Ling grinned at him, and poked at his forehead with one finger. “I’m allowed.”

“Hey, don’t!,” Lan Sizhui cried out. “It’s still very important, okay?!”

He had to laugh still, when Jin Ling kept teasing him, and they sort of wrestled on this bed. One trying to touch, the other trying to stop him from doing so. Laughing felt good after such an anxious night, but after a particularly strong push from Jin Ling he fell onto his back, where his wrists were immediately pinned to his side. With Jin Ling on top of him, he couldn’t move.

“A-A-Ling…,” he attempted to break free, but his heart wasn’t in it. Looking up into that handsome face, he wanted nothing more than for Jin Ling to lean down and kiss him. But if Jin Ling indeed was a cut sleeve after all, it seemed he wasn’t the one that he had feelings for. “By- By the way, Jin Bai asked if I should be called ‘Jin Sizhui’ from now on. What do you think?”

“Oh.” It seemed Jin Ling hadn’t thought about this either. “I don’t know. You don’t have to, I don’t think.”

“I wonder what Jingyi would think,” Lan Sizhui thought out loud. The pressure on his wrists vanished, and Jin Ling sat by his side, leaving him free to sit up as well.

“What do you think of Jingyi?,” Jin Ling asked.

“Hm? He’s my friend. I care for him.”

“He’s rather handsome, isn’t he?”

“I suppose,” Lan Sizhui replied.

“And really funny, right?,” Jin Ling continued.

Lan Sizhui turned to his husband, who was avoiding looking at him. Why ask all these questions about Lan Jingyi? It was as if he were leading him to agree to a certain opinion of him. But why… Was it that indeed Jin Ling had feelings for someone, and that someone was Lan Jingyi?

His heart ached at the thought. In the beginning he had been so hopeful, that perhaps Jin Ling could return his feelings one day. But he was the wrong Lan. If only he had known, he might have suggested Lan Jingyi for this position instead. Now the only option they had was to take in Lan Jingyi as… Something else. Many Sect Leaders had concubines.

“He- He is,” Lan Sizhui finally answered. “He’s also very kind.”

“Yeah,” Jin Ling still wasn’t looking at him, but he smiled sadly. “He’s actually very considerate when we’re out. He gets scared of things but he always makes sure everyone else is alright.”

“The others really underestimate him,” he agreed. “I worry how he’ll be treated when I’m not there. I helped him study a lot, he has trouble focusing.”

“If… you’re that worried… We should invite him. See how he’s doing.”

“Yeah… Yeah I think that would be good,” Lan Sizhui tried to smile. He looked forward and dreaded seeing him at the same time. He was still his friends but if they spent more time together with Jin Ling having realised his feelings, they may just become something more than friends. He didn’t know if he would be able to watch it.

But if it was his husband’s wish…

He wrote a letter to Jingyi, inviting him to Koi Tower. From then on he tried to focus on getting to know his new home better. He approached the man that seemed to be closest to Jin Ling, often carrying out his orders. Jin Fang was taller than both of them, though not particularly remarkably looking, his cultivation stood on a strong base and he might make something of himself one day, especially if he remained Jin Ling’s close confidante.

“Jin Fang, there is something I’ve been meaning to ask.”

The two were standing by the plaza in which the younger disciples were currently training. Jin Ling was walking among them, correcting poses or wrong sword techniques while shouting loudly to keep them motivated. He looked very authoritative and Lan Sizhui had a hard time looking away from him.

“What is it?,” Jin Fang asked.

“Do you think there are people in the sect that don’t like Jin Ling being in charge? People that might put him in danger.”

“I’ve been worried about the same thing,” he confessed in reply. “Sect Leader is rather busy at the moment, I’m afraid he is not looking after himself.”

“That’s why we have to do it for him.” Lan Sizhui paused as Jin Ling looked over at him. He gave a wave, and Lan Sizhui returned it. “Please let me know your suspicions.”

Jin Fang leaned in a little closer, and whispered three names into his ear. They were familiar, Lan Sizhui had met these people before. All of them had been as pleasant as could be expected, though naturally they would not conspire against his husband right in front of him. He took it upon himself to wander off then, to pretend to be taking a stroll through the area in search of these three men.

Talking to other cultivators there didn’t seem to be anything special or dangerous about them. Maybe that was the point. Everyone he talked to about these just described them as hard working, a good friend, things like these. Lan Sizhui was rather puzzled at the end of the day, not really getting anywhere. Perhaps it was time to inspect their quarters, but he had to do that while they were out.

It was how he spent the next few days, when he wasn’t practising and training himself, he took the first chances he got to sneak into their rooms. But despite his best efforts he couldn’t find anything that would incriminate them. Even playing songs that would reveal secrets didn’t show him anything aside from a magazine with very indecent drawings in it. That one he returned exactly where he had found it, with a bit more knowledge on sexual practises than he really wanted to have.

This was all very strange. But he didn’t always have the time to keep thinking about it.

It appeared that just a few weeks after Jiang Cheng had left, he arrived back at Koi Tower with a smaller group of disciples from his sect. Lan Sizhui was eager to greet him, doing so with a deep bow, because he knew how much Jin Ling adored his uncle, even if he was never really able to show it. Their way of showing affection for one another was to bicker.

“You should not bow that deeply for another Sect’s Leader,” Jiang Cheng barked at Jin Ling, instead of greeting him like a normal person. “It shows that you think you are inferior.”

Jin Ling rolled his eyes.

“Oh now I’m not even allowed to show appreciation for my dear uncle?,” his voice dripped with sarcasm.

“Don’t take that tone with me! We came here to rest before the next leg of our journey, are you going to invite us in or not?”

“Why should I-”

Lan Sizhui quickly interrupted.

“Of course,” he said, showing the group into the main hall. “Please wait just a moment, we will have refreshments served for you.”

“Thank you,” Jiang Cheng replied. “Someone has manners.”

As he walked past them, he could swear that Jiang Cheng gave him a knowing smile, and he had to try hard to hide his own. Maybe Jin Ling’s uncle’s exterior wasn’t quite as tough as everyone claimed it to be. Sitting and dining with him and his disciples was a rather pleasant distraction from all the other business that they had to attend to.

“Are you getting used to the place alright, Lan Sizhui?,” Jiang Cheng asked him.

“Oh yes. I think. Everyone has been quite nice to me,” he replied. “It helps that my chambers almost look the same as they were in Cloud Recesses. Just grander. Jin Ling was kind to make them that way.”

“Oh he did that, did he?,” Jiang Cheng raised an eyebrow towards his nephew.

Jin Ling pointedly did not look at him, instead focused very hard on a certain dish that wouldn’t want to stay on his chopsticks. His ears were a little red, so Lan Sizhui reached over to cut the piece of food in half. That way it was easier.

“ThankyouSizhui,” Jin Ling mumbled.

He couldn’t help but chuckle a little at how embarrassed Jin Ling seemed, and he turned back towards Jiang Cheng who had that soft smile on his face again, watching him and his nephew.

“By the way, Sect Leader,” Lan Sizhui continued. “Last time you left with Nie Huaisang. Was there an issue you two had to deal with?”

Jiang Cheng’s smile didn’t vanish completely, but it changed. He suddenly looked so much like Jin Ling, it really did seem that he was his big brother rather than his uncle. The way his ears turned red was exactly the same as Jin Ling’s, who still didn’t quite look at him.

“Ah, not really,” he said, fumbling with his chopsticks. He too wasn’t able to pick up a piece of food, but there was no one to help him with it. “It was merely… You see… A courtesy visit. He was on the way anyway. You see…”

For Lan Sizhui it clicked, and he did see. Nie Huaisang had picked up Jiang Cheng so that they could spend time together. If they were not already a couple, they must surely soon be. He did not want to pry on the matter, seeing how red Jiang Cheng turned at the mention of him, so he quickly changed the subject to something easier. Swords were always a good topic.

Since Jiang Cheng wouldn’t be staying that long, Lan Sizhui made sure that he steered clear of them a little so that they could spend time together without anyone watching them. Perhaps in that case it was easier for them to actually show any emotions towards one another. At least on Jin Ling’s side he knew that he loved his uncle dearly.

He had practised his guqin the entire morning, until his fingers had become a little stiff and his stomach rumbled, so that he made his way towards the kitchen. He still felt a little awkward bothering Jin Bai with such requests, and he had sent her to train for the morning anyway. She had talent that just needed a bit of refinement before it would become skill.

He was lost in his own thoughts for a while, playing melodies in his mind of the pieces that he was composing himself. He wasn’t quite close to being done with any of them, but he was making good progress. He was torn away from those when he heard voices coming from the kitchen. Familiar voices. He stopped in place just before entering, hidden by the half open door.

“But the food in Cloud Recesses is really bland and healthy,” Jin Ling said, finishing a thought Lan Sizhui hadn’t heard.

“Consider who he grew up with. Trust me, he’ll like spicy,” came Jiang Cheng’s reply.

Who were they talking about?

It sounded like they were actually working on making something. The two of them… together?! And neither of them were yelling at each other. There was no way that he could interrupt this moment.

“Is that fine enough?,” Jin Ling asked.

“Mhm.”

“And then I just add all of this together?”

“Yes, crank up the heat a bit more,” Jiang Cheng instructed.

How Lan Sizhui wished he could watch them. Uncle and nephew peacefully cooking together - it didn’t matter for who! Because his curiosity was so great, he did have to peek around the corner. Both Jin Ling and Jiang Cheng had their sleeves rolled up, and were covered in flour and various spices. They were trying very hard it seemed, and Jin Ling looked so adorable…

“If he doesn’t like it I’m gonna kill you,” Jin Ling threatened his uncle with a rather large knife.

“Tch, of course he’s going to like it.” Jiang Cheng actually rolled his eyes. His gaze wandered then, and Lan Sizhui quickly hid behind the door again. “Just make sure you don’t screw it up.”

Well, this was as peaceful as they were ever going to be.

Smiling to himself he silently walked back towards his chambers, thinking that going hungry for a little while wasn’t so bad if this was what his sacrifice was for. He lost himself back in his studies, taking down notes of his compositions. Pieces of paper were scattered all around him, he almost lost track of which piece went together with another, and thought that right now he really wanted to go to Lan Wangji and ask for his opinion. Talking to him would always get him out of a slump, but right now all he could do was try his best.

One day he would have an opportunity to ask him.

As he sighed, he gentle knock made him turn to the door, and he watched as Jin Ling entered. He was holding a tray of food. Lan Sizhui blinked at him.

“Oh, are you busy?,” Jin Ling asked.

“No… I’m a little stuck, I might as well take a break,” he replied. “Did you…”

He remembered that Jin Ling had been making food for someone. Now that food was right here. He could already smell the spices wafting over to him and his stomach grumbled. Why would he go through the effort of making this for him?

He stood to stretch his legs, adjust his robes and walk over to the small table where Jin Ling had sat down the tray. Ten different dishes stared up at them, some of which seemed so very familiar. He licked his lips as he sat down to reach for the chopsticks. But Jin Ling grabbed his hands.

“You’ve got ink all over them,” he said. He quickly got a handkerchief and a small bowl of water that he dipped it in, then proceeded to wipe off the ink. Having this done for him, rather than doing it himself… It felt oddly intimate.

“Th-Thank you,” Lan Sizhui mumbled. “Did you make all this?”

Officially, he did not know.

“Er… yes. I just felt like it. Thought you may as well have it.”

“Ah, well, thank you.” Lan Sizhui was a bit confused. When Jin Ling had talked to his uncle it had appeared like a rather serious affair. But the way he now presented it was very much unlike that. Maybe these were leftovers? And the person it had been made for had already eaten it. Well, nothing wrong with appreciating some good leftovers.

It really was very spicy, and Lan Sizhui almost wasn’t used to it anymore. The first few bites were a bit overwhelming, to the point where Jin Ling had to ask if he was alright. But the more he ate the more he was flooded with long lost memories and he had to smile.

“It reminds me of papa’s cooking. I mean… Senior Wei’s. I was so small back then but I wanted to be like him…,” thinking of this made him smile even wider. “So I insisted he give me the same spicy food that he ate.”

“He gave this to a kid?,” Jin Ling asked with an amused smile. His head was resting on his hand, watching Lan Sizhui eat.

“Yep, it did not go well the first time!” He laughed at the memory, even though it had been agony. As he caught himself, he picked up one of the pieces of chicken and held it up towards Jin Ling. “Have you had any?”

“Ah uh, not yet,” he admitted, then leaned forward as Lan Sizhui moved the piece of food closer to his mouth, then took it from the chopsticks.

He watched Jin Ling chew slowly, his face neutral in the beginning, then slowly going more and more red.

“Oof,” he blurted out, and Lan Sizhui had to laugh again.

“You didn’t taste it? I hope whoever you made it for was tolerant to spice,” he said.

It wasn’t quite clear if the strange look Jin Ling gave him was because of what he had said, or because of the food. As Jin Ling was definitely suffering in either case, Lan Sizhui made sure to bring him some milk and bread, so he could relieve his agony. In the end, Jin Ling had still been sweating a bit, so he dabbed the moisture away as well.

After having eaten all that, he just felt so content.

“This was really good,” he sighed.

“Good. Er… I mean. I’ll have it cleaned up.”

Lan Sizhui was too content to ask why Jin Ling was leaving again so quickly. Maybe the spice had upset his stomach. In either case, that night he slept wonderfully, dreaming of being with his fathers for a long meal.

A few days later, Lan Jingyi finally arrived.

When Jin Bai told him, he ran out of his room and towards the large staircase that his friend had now ascended, and he ran into his arms. Laughter escaped his lips as he was raised up by Lan Jingyi and hugged so very tightly.

“You came, you came!”

“Of course I did, how could I not after your letter,” Lan Jingyi replied, and gently put him down. As he noticed Jin Ling nearby, he too pulled him into a hug. For a moment it seemed Jin Ling was hesitant to return it. Perhaps he was nervous being around the person he liked. “It’s been absolutely awful since you left.”

“Oh you’re being dramatic,” Lan Sizhui rolled his eyes, but he could not stop smiling. “Tell me really, how are things?”

Together they walked towards Jin Ling’s chambers to speak in private. There was a lot that they had to catch up on.

“Actually… I am rather surprised at how Hanguang Jun’s been treating me.”

“Oh? Is he hard on you?”

“Well, he always is. But a few days ago he said, and I quote: Your form is improving!” Lan Jingyi looked absolutely overjoyed having heard those words. From the great Hanguang Jun who would rather use no words than any at all, this was high praise indeed!

“See, I told you he would see that you’re doing well,” Lan Sizhui replied.

It seemed that as they walked, Lan Jingyi was eyeing him often. After a few minutes of that, he finally had to ask if there was something wrong.

“You just look kind of nice in yellow,” Lan Jingyi replied. “Somehow it was hard to picture you in anything but white.”

Lan Sizhui felt himself blush. ‘Nice’. As in pretty? Why would his friend comment on such a thing, and yet he found himself standing a little straighter, and adjusting his robes as if they weren’t already immaculate.

“Well. Thank you. I suppose.”

Lan Jingyi smiled at him, and for a moment he was distracted. He didn’t see the small bridge over the lotus pond and stumbled, but his friend was right there to catch him. An arm around his waist, he made sure that everything was alright.

Had things changed, between them? Something in the way Lan Jingyi looked at him was different. At least he thought so. He just didn’t know what exactly had changed. His heart felt a little confused.

Nevertheless he enjoyed the time with his friend. He noticed him and Jin Ling exchanging glances often, this too had changed. They easily slipped back into the way they were before, talking and laughing together and yet… Things were different, and they would never go back to the way they had been before. In the back of his mind Lan Sizhui always knew that eventually Lan Jingyi had to leave them once more. Unless Jin Ling asked him to stay…

That too confused his heart. Made it ache.

The two of them were still rather proud to show Lan Jingyi around, to show off a little. People respected them, and Lan Sizhui was now technically rich. Never having had a lot of ‘things’ before, he couldn’t help but show them off to him now. Jin Ling had an armoury passed down from generations, and just like when he had seen it for the first time Lan Jingyi’s eyes lit up when he was led inside. They spent an entire day there, just the three of them playing with swords and admiring armours and shields.

Lan Jingyi even sat in one some meetings with them, when they dealt with inner sect dealings and those of the outside world. The two of them tried their hardest to impress, and judging by Lan Jingyi’s smile, they succeeded. Maybe he wasn’t Sect Leader, but he was certainly his most trusted adviser. These days Jin Ling would often turn his head just a little, a sign that he was waiting for Lan Sizhui to weigh in on whatever matter was currently being discussed. That he could recognise these little signs and shifts in Jin Ling’s mood made him rather happy.

A week had flown past in the blink of an eye. Lan Jingyi had gotten a message that he was summoned to night hunt with the rest of the Lan juniors, a hunt currently led by Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian. Lan Sizhui had wanted to go along with him, but there were important meetings that he could not miss, and so he had to decline. This goodbye however wasn’t quite as painful as the first one had been. After he had said goodbye though, Jin Ling took Lan Jingyi away a little, but Lan Sizhui could see them still talking.

It seemed to be a rather serious discussion, that went on for quite some time. He shouldn’t be watching, it was not proper to do so, but he couldn’t help himself. In the end, Lan Jingyi seemed to agree to something, but when Jin Ling turned back he looked so serious, sad almost. Quickly Lan Sizhui rushed back to his chambers so that it was not obvious that he had watched them.

However a few minutes later Jin Ling knocked on his door. Nervous that he would be scolded for spying on them, his hand was shaking when he slid open the door. Jin Ling still had that look on his face when Lan Sizhui stood aside to let him in. His husband started pacing through the room, back and forth. It made him even more nervous.

“I thought about Jingyi often. And what we talked about,” he said. Lan Sizhui nodded. Was this the dreaded confession?

“Yes?”

“I asked him if he… if he wanted to be part of our household. I was thinking that it would be good to have someone we trust to protect and work with us. Of course he still has to get approval from Lan Xichen, but I…,” Jin Ling paused. “He said yes. He also said yes to be something er… more.”

There it was. Lan Sizhui felt his legs give out and he fell to the floor. Immediately Jin Ling was by his side, hand on his shoulder.

“Sizhui?!”

He wanted to try really hard to not let his tears fall. But hearing that Jin Ling really wanted Lan Jingyi as his concubine… It was just too much. His hopes were shattered, he would have to watch his friends be in love and there was nothing he could do about it. And so, he cried.

“Why- Why are you crying?!,” Jin Ling blurted out.

“How could I not?!,” he wailed, feeling utterly heartbroken.

“But I’m doing this for you! You- You’re in love with him, aren’t you?”

“W-what?,” Lan Sizhui looked up at Jin Ling, suddenly his tears were completely forgotten. “You think that I am in love…”

“Yes! The way you look at him, the way you talk about him I just- Just thinking about how much you cried when you were saying goodbye! For the past month I… I couldn’t stop thinking about it.” Jin Ling knelt by his side, and his eyes too were very watery. “I thought I could make you fall in love with me but if you truly love him I don’t want to stand in the way of that.”

“Make… make me fall in love with you?,” Lan Sizhui could not believe what he had just heard.

“It sounds stupid, I know… I’m sorry.”

“But I’m already in love with you!,” he blurted out.

Finally they looked into each other’s eyes. Finally they realised all this awkwardness between them had been because they were already in love. All this time.

“CAN I KISS YOU?,” the question was rather loud, and Lan Sizhui flinched very briefly. But after he had processed what exactly he had been asked, he smiled.

“A-Ling, aren’t you my husband?”

“Y-yes but I- uhm- I mean-”

“Please just kiss me,” Lan Sizhui sighed.

His heart fluttered in his chest as Jin Ling reached out and gently grasped his chin, tilting his head up. As he leaned in, Lan Sizhui closed his eyes, somehow still a little in disbelief that this was really happening. Maybe Jin Ling would pull back at the last moment and tell him it was all a big joke.

But then he felt something soft against his lips. It really was Jin Ling, it really was his first kiss! The two just pressed their lips together like that, seemingly both unsure how to proceed. Slowly Lan Sizhui moved his hands, grasped the front of Jin Ling’s robes. Then Jin Ling moved too, with his free hand he pulled him closer, and they suddenly fell over, his husband on top of him.

They didn’t stop kissing, they couldn’t. Where at first their noses bumped together awkwardly, they quickly figured out how to make it more comfortable for them both. Lan Sizhui felt Jin Ling’s weight on top of him, and he felt hot and flushed all over. Especially so when they deepened their kiss.

“Part your lips,” Jin Ling whispered, panting against his lips.

“O-okay.”

He did as he was told, soon feeling Jin Ling’s tongue press against his. A strange sensation at first, but as Lan Sizhui got used to kissing, he realised more and more that he did not want to stop. Never wanted to stop. But in the end they both needed to catch their breath.

“You really are so very beautiful,” Jin Ling whispered, his cheeks flushed. “When I saw you in red I thought I was going to die. I thought that- that… no one ever had a more beautiful bride.”

“Jin Ling,” he whined in reply, trying to hide his face in his hands, but Jin Ling gently pushed them aside.

“I mean it,” Jin Ling continued. “I’m sorry I’m so bad at… at this.”

“I think that kiss was perfect,” Lan Sizhui smiled up at him, knowing fully it wasn’t what he had meant. But he could never help gently tease Jin Ling.

“That’s not… You think so?”

“Mhn. It was my first one. I hope I did okay.”

“You really did,” Jin Ling assured him. “Mine too…”

Lan Sizhui looked up into those beautiful brown eyes and couldn’t believe what was currently happening. All this had been a misunderstanding, both of them had had feelings for each other all along. He wondered if knowing this would have changed their wedding night.

As if knowing his train of thought, Jin Ling leaned in to kiss his cheek, and as he did he pressed their bodies closer together. To accommodate him, Lan Sizhui had spread his legs, and that movement now pressed their lower regions together. Lan Sizhui closed his eyes and let out a little gasp. It sounded strange even to himself.

“Sizhui…?,” Jin Ling asked, not pulling away. His next kiss was closer to his neck, and Lan Sizhui shuddered underneath him. Whether it was on purpose or not, Jin Ling shifted his hips a little, and they ground against each other once more. This time the sound that came from Lan Sizhui’s mouth was more of a moan. “Sizhui… This feels good. Can I keep going?”

“Like this?,” Lan Sizhui asked.

“Just like this,” Jin Ling breathed against his neck. “Not more.”

“Then,” he sighed in reply. Feeling a kiss now pressed to his neck, his mind was clouded with how good it felt, and he spread his legs a little wider so Jin Ling could better press against him. “Then… Keep going. I…”

He moaned instead of finishing his sentence, as Jin Ling had moved against him again. Lan Sizhui didn’t know what this was. It wasn’t proper sex, not the way it had been explained to him, but it felt _good_ and he wanted Jin Ling to keep going. As he ground against him further, he could feel himself getting hard, and his husband at the same time. Even through the fabric of his pants he could feel that Jin Ling was much larger than him.

His legs moved on their own, wrapped around Jin Ling’s waist to keep him from moving too far away from him. The only way Jin Ling could now move, was to grind against him.

“Sizhui,” Jin Ling said his name breathlessly, and where he had been kissing him he pushed himself up again so they could look into each other’s eyes. His cheeks were flushed, as were surely his own, and strands of hair were escaping from his otherwise immaculate ponytail. “You’re… you’re…”

Jin Ling’s hand was wandering over his cheek to caress it, then lower to his neck, and to his chest. But it was a light touch, not demanding more than Lan Sizhui could currently give. In his current state, he wasn’t even sure if he could say no to whatever Jin Ling could want.

“A-Ling, you’re so handsome,” he sighed, a sound that once again turned into a long, drawn out moan when his own legs pulled Jin Ling closer to himself. When he looked down to see where his robes had been rolled up from their movement, he could see a bit of moisture forming on his pants. As indecent as it was, he couldn’t tell him to stop. He didn’t want him to. “A bit more, A-Ling, just a bit more…”

He wrapped his arms around Jin Ling’s neck and pulled him down into another kiss. As they were locked together, Jin Ling’s movements became more erratic, his hips snapping against Lan Sizhui’s. When their lust made them unable to continue kissing, Lan Sizhui pulled Jin Ling’s face into the crook of his neck.

All that was in this room were the two of them on the floor, the rustling of fabric, and their moans gently drifting through the air.

“A-Ling!”

“Sizhui…”

Jin Ling’s moans were suddenly deeper as he pressed against him, and Lan Sizhui shuddered at the same time. He had never touched himself much, but when he did it wasn’t like this. There wasn’t this intense heat between them that ran along his spine and pooled in his crotch as he came. But then he had never had a husband like Jin Ling before.

Their movements stopped, so did their sounds, only the two of them panting against one another remained. It was then that Lan Sizhui finally realised he had a death grip on Jin Ling, and forced himself to let go, his arms coming to his sides again, his legs resting on the ground.

Jin Ling looked up at him and smiled.

“I came. How embarrassing.” Though he said ‘embarrassing’, his look was tender, and he reached out to brush a streak of hair out of Lan Sizhui’s face. But he did not stop there. His fingers gently caressed his forehead. And his headband.

Lan Sizhui’s heart skipped a beat.

“So did I.” He was blushing hard now. “I like… I like when you do that.”

“Hm, this?,” Jin Ling asked, glancing at his fingers on Lan Sizhui’s forehead. So he nodded.

“I was imagining you doing it even before we got married. It’s… intimate.”

“I see.” Jin Ling was calm as he leaned in closer, and just like that - pressed a kiss to his forehead, right on top of the band! “This okay too then?”

Evidently he hadn’t expected Lan Sizhui’s reaction to this, he looked so surprised when he leaned back and looked down at him again.

“Bad?!”

“No no no!,” Lan Sizhui blurted out. “When you do that I feel… I feel a little…”

Unsure how to explain it, Lan Sizhui just looked down between them. Where they were still pressed together. Where they had made a mess of their pants.

“ _Oh_.”

Jin Ling carefully pulled back then, sitting on his legs and pulling up Lan Sizhui to do the same.

“We… we should probably clean up,” he said, and Lan Sizhui nodded. “Could you… Do you want to sleep with me tonight?”

“ _What_?,” Lan Sizhui blurted out. He was going to faint at any moment. He wasn’t ready for that!

“I mean sleep in my bed!,” Jin Ling quickly said. “Just sleep! I’m sorry I didn’t mean to…”

“It’s okay,” Lan Sizhui replied, sighing in relief. “I would really like that.”

“Yes?”

“Yes.”

Jin Ling smiled, finally stood and adjusted his robes. He helped his husband to stand, too, and they gazed into one another’s eyes.

“I’ll see you in a bit then?,” Jin Ling asked.

“Yeah. Yes. Definitely.”

He just couldn’t stop smiling. It was impossible! After Jin Ling had left he twirled around his rooms, unable to contain his happiness. He had to run to Jin Bai, who lived in quarters nearby for this reason, and immediately ask her to boil some water for him. After all he couldn’t go to his husband in the state that he was in.

“After the bath, could you help me a bit?,” he asked, still smiling.

Jin Bai was evidently very amused by this.

“Of course, my lord. What do you need help with?”

“Well I… I’m spending the night with the Sect Leader - just to sleep!,” he added quickly, but her smile stayed the same nonetheless. He thought about how messy he had been last time he went over in just his undergarments. “I… I would like to look… nice. But I don’t know how. Not like I am trying too hard just… nice.”

“I understand completely,” she replied. “Let me pin up your hair for your bath.”

Her hands were very skilled at this. With his hair up he looked rather delicate, very feminine, he thought, and wondered if Jin Ling would prefer this to his hair down. He would find out eventually. For now he made sure that he was cleaned up and smelled nice for his husband. After he had gotten out of the bath he saw the familiar tray with undergarments that Jin Bai had slid into the room for him to wear. She knew what looked best on him.

This time the robe was neither in the Lan or the Jin Sect colours, but a delicate pale green with intricate light blue flowers embroidered on it. It seemed rather sheer in places, but fit nicely and did not reveal too much. At the same time it was light enough to sleep in.

He stepped outside the bathroom to find Jin Bai waiting for him. She had prepared another tray with some of the things that had been gifted to him a few months ago. A salve that made his skin feel very smooth, just a little bit of perfume - sandalwood. The scent reminded him of home, and hoped that it could be as comforting to Jin Ling as it was to him.

Jin Bai took her time to brush his long hair, now completely down.

“You’re sure I shouldn’t do something to my hair?,” he asked, but she shook her head.

“It’s more comfortable for sleeping, and I personally find hair like this is a rather intimate thing. You do not let most others see you like this, do you?”

This time it was Lan Sizhui’s turn to shake his head.

“Besides,” she looked at him in a familiar way, this scene before the mirror had repeated itself over the past months. “My lord is a beautiful young man. You will not need anything else to impress him.”

He felt himself blush, but smiled.

“Thank you,” he said softly, then sighed. “I am just so happy he… he returns my feelings.”

“I figured it would happen.”

“Did you really?!”

“Oh yes, it was quite obvious,” she replied, making Lan Sizhui groan. Had everyone but him known?!

Jin Bai laughed a little, and surprisingly suddenly hugged him from behind.

“I am teasing my lord, I hope he does not mind.”

“Not at all,” he replied.

His hair was completely smooth now, not a single streak out of place. Some of it framed his face and fell over his shoulders, the rest came all the way down to his waist behind. Before he was allowed to leave, Jin Bai sat in front of him and dabbed her finger in a familiar paste. After she had applied it on his lips, they were shining in the candlelight. Then just a little bit of pale pink powder followed on his cheeks. It wasn’t much, but seemed to make such a big difference.

Then he finally stood, and she helped him into rather simple slippers, and threw a light but long cloak over his shoulders. It was lined with a bit of fur at the neck, and had a hood that she pulled up.

“It’s not far, but it’s cold out,” she said. “It wouldn’t do for my lord to get sick.”

“Thank you, Jin Bai. I really mean it.”

“It has been my pleasure.”

They walked out together, holding little lanterns to light their way, then separated into different directions. The cold air threatened to snuff the light of his lantern, but as he walked slowly the little light fought to stay lit. His heart was pounding once more, his stomach full of butterflies. Standing in front of Jin Ling’s door, he had to take a deep breath to steady himself, and finally knocked.

The door opened immediately.

Jin Ling had his long, somewhat lighter hair than his down in a similar style, but he looked a little bit more rugged. His hadn’t been brushed as long as Lan Sizhui’s, so some strands stuck out but it looked good on him. Instead of being shirtless he this time wore a white, very wide shirt that was low cut and still revealed some of his chest. He also wore a nervous smile, but swiftly stepped away to let him inside.

“Sizhui,” he whispered, and helped him put the lantern down.

The way he stepped up to him felt so familiar. Almost like it was their wedding day once more. He reached out, and very slowly pulled down the hood of Lan Sizhui’s cloak. Jin Ling’s breath hitched a little, though he continued to undo the bands that fastened the cloak together and let it slide onto the floor.

His eyes wandered. Taking in the robe he was wearing, the delicate flowers on it. Almost as if he was in awe of their craftsmanship.

“Sizhui, how is it that you become more and more beautiful every time I see you?,” he asked, sounding as if he had lost his wits.

“I… I asked Jin Bai to help me,” he admitted. “I wanted to look nice for you.”

It was as if Jin Ling hadn’t heard anything he had said. His gaze was locked in place, not looking into Lan Sizhui’s eyes but at his lips. He had to remember how effective this shiny paste was.

“Can I kiss you?,” Jin Ling asked again.

“A-Ling,” he said gently, putting a hand on his arm. “From now on, you do not have to ask anymore. I am your loving husband.”

Not a second passed before Jin Ling had wrapped an arm around his waist and pulled him close into a kiss. Lan Sizhui let his hands rest on his shoulders, closing his eyes to enjoy the moment. His fluttering heart was calmed as they kissed here, Jin Ling’s warm body pressed so close to his own. He wondered if he would ever get used to kissing Jin Ling, whether it would always be this exciting. He really hoped that it would be.

Jin Ling pulled back when they needed to catch their breath, but as he did, he let out a long yawn. Immediately, he looked as if he had slipped in front of the entire cultivation world.

“I’m sorry!,” he blurted out.

“My Sect Leader is tired,” Lan Sizhui said gently, caressing Jin Ling’s cheek. “Let us go to bed and rest.”

Jin Ling nodded, reassured by his gentle words. Holding hands the way they had when walking down the red aisle to be wed, they walked the short distance to the bed. Jin Ling pulled back the blankets to invite them in, and both sitting in it, it felt a little awkward at first. But now Lan Sizhui knew about Jin Ling’s feelings, and he wasn’t so hopeless anymore. He carefully pulled back his own hair to lie down, looking up at Jin Ling.

“You wear your headband at night?,” Jin Ling asked.

“Mhm, sometimes. Not always.” Restraint. He still felt that he had to retain some of it. Once he was brave enough, he would ask Jin Ling to take it off for him.

He held out his hand and Jin Ling followed his invitation to lie down with him. Smiling shyly, Lan Sizhui inched closer, until his husband understood and opened his arms for him to lie in them. He sighed against Jin Ling’s chest, delighted when he was squeezed tightly. He could get used to this embrace, to the warmth of another body in bed with him. This embrace felt so safe.

Looking up once more, Jin Ling noticed and looked down. This time it didn’t take another question for his husband to kiss him. With both of them rather tired from a tumultuous day, it was all they did that night. And a little while later Lan Sizhui fell asleep in those strong arms and had one of the best night’s sleep in his entire life. Waking up to find a still sleeping Jin Ling, he couldn’t help but watch him for a little while. There was no frown on his forehead when he was sleeping, and his mouth was hanging open a little, giving him a rather adorable appearance this early in the morning.  
  


Lan Sizhui was still on Gusu Lan time. He was quite sure that it would never change. Just this once he wanted to indulge himself though, and thought that since he wasn’t at Cloud Recesses anymore, there was no one to scold him for it. So he remained in bed where it was warm and cosy, where he could see the man that he loved.

In a strange way, he was suddenly reminded of Lan Jingyi. He had often seen him asleep, as he was the one who would get up the latest - if one did not count Wei Wuxian. He supposed there was a bit of a resemblance between Jin Ling’s sleeping form and Lan Jingyi’s. That must have been why he thought of him now.

Before something else about his friend could come into his mind, Jin Ling was slowly waking up. It was like watching a baby rabbit come to consciousness, a sight so cute that it made his heart grow about three sizes. Oh if he would be granted this sight every morning from now on, then his life would surely be happy.

“Good morning, husband,” he whispered softly, and pressed a kiss to Jin Ling’s forehead.

To see that slightly confused expression turn into a smile… Lan Sizhui thought his heart couldn’t be any fuller, but clearly he had been wrong.

“G’d mornin’,” Jin Ling mumbled back.

Lan Sizhui had already been awake for an hour, and he had to chuckle.

“How could I sweeten this morning for you?”

“Mhhhmmmm, just stay here a little longer,” he grumbled in reply.

“We will have to face the day eventually,” Lan Sizhui told him, but snuggled into his embrace anyway.

“A few more minutes…”

And so he indulged his sweet husband, who really needed his time to slowly really wake up and be coherent. Their days changed a little from here on out, though the business they had to attend to was the same, and quite serious at times, it was made all the sweeter for what was blooming between them. When Jin Ling had to justify to enraged cultivators his decision to redeploy disciples to the watchtowers, his mood had turned sour. Too many people still associated his uncle with these structures, but the idea behind them had been sound, and it was important to Jin Ling to protect the common people.

When they had sent cultivators to get rid of the ghouls in that village a few days out, they had reported far too many casualties. At the time Lan Sizhui hadn’t quite realised how much it had affected him. But that he was willing to deal with his uncle’s decisions showed that he took it seriously. Not everyone agreed with his plans.

There had been shouting in the main hall, until Jin Ling had had enough. Much like his uncle he could sometimes explode, this time almost literally. The table in front of him had been blasted away with a strike of spiritual energy, splintering into a thousand pieces. Though he had shown this burst of anger his voice had been eerily calm as he ordered his cultivators to do as they had been told.

Silence had filled the hall again, and as orders had been dealt out, one by one everyone filed out of the hall. Only then had Jin Ling let himself show how difficult it had been for him.

He hunched over, his body shaking as his hands came to hide his face. Lan Sizhui quickly inched over - they were never too far apart - and put an arm around him.

“You did the right thing,” he told him. “A-Ling I’m proud of you.”

“Did I?,” Jin Ling’s voice was shaky, but he turned to look at him. “If it is. Why can’t they see it? My uncle he… he… Not everything he did was wrong.”

“I know,” he said quietly, reaching out to brush the hair out of his husband’s face, to soothe him with gentle caresses. “Some people just like to see the world in black and white. This _will_ help the common people. That’s the kind of Sect Leader you are. Using your power for good.”

“Promise me you’ll stop me if I ever become like him,” Jin Ling whispered.

“I don’t think you will,” Jin Ling was about to protest but he quickly continued. “But I promise I will. I’m by your side now. Always.”

And unlike before, now Lan Sizhui simply leaned in to kiss his husband. He could taste the few teardrops on his lips that Jin Ling had been unable to hold back, but thought that if he could take them away, he did not mind the salty taste. Gently kissing and holding him, he could slowly calm Jin Ling down, and made sure that he was presentable when showing himself to the Sect once more. To everyone else, Jin Ling appeared as strong and stubborn as ever.

Over the next few days they slowly became more and more comfortable showing small signs of affection towards one another in public. Jin Ling was sure that the rumour mill would spread these far and wide, but they decided they did not care. They were married after all, if they had feelings for one another that was a good thing. And so they sometimes shared these long looks, during which Lan Sizhui simply wanted to sigh because his heart felt so full.

Or when sitting by his side during a conference, Jin Ling would sneak his hand over to touch Lan Sizhui’s, or let it rest on the small of his back. When they discussed things in whispers, they would now lean much closer to one another than they had before. It was these little things that made all the difference, that made Lan Sizhui smile so much.

One of his favourite things would be when Jin Ling looked so very serious and leaned into him. Lan Sizhui would do the same, expecting a discussion. But instead his husband would say things like: “Your eyes are sparkling so beautifully in the sunlight.”, “You look so gorgeous today.”, or “I have been thinking about kissing you all day. I count the seconds until we are alone.”.

And kissing they would do a lot, when they were alone. It seemed that each day it was getting more and more intense. Either Lan Sizhui was pressed to a wall, or close to Jin Ling himself. One time he had been picked up to sit on Jin Ling’s low shelf, his legs spread wide so that his husband could stand between them and easily reach him.

Jin Ling’s hands were becoming more greedy. They would wander over Lan Sizhui’s body, slowly gaining confidence to even squeeze his behind. The first time he had been so surprised, but by the second time he already liked it and urged Jin Ling on for more. Then one day that thought crept into his mind…

“I’m ready,” Lan Sizhui gasped against Jin Ling’s lips. This time they were lying on the bed and kissing. Somehow Jin Ling’s hand had made it to his behind and never left. Being pressed so close together, Lan Sizhui was starting to feel aroused.

“Ready for what?,” Jin Ling asked. He didn’t want to stop kissing him, but pulled back when Lan Sizhui pressed a finger to his lips.

“To… to be intimate,” he whispered, blushing. “If… If you want to be my first.”

Jin Ling’s eyes widened.

“Yes!,” he blurted out. “Is it really okay? Now?”

Lan Sizhui nodded. Suddenly Jin Ling looked a little bashful, not meeting his eyes.

“What is it?,” he asked.

“I was thinking just… that you were so beautiful in red…,” Jin Ling trailed off and looked at him out of the corner of his eyes with his head turned.

“You would like me to put on my wedding robes?”

Jin Ling nodded. And suddenly Lan Sizhui was stumbling over himself to run away as quickly as he could.

“Be right back!,” he called, but was already out the door.

He sprinted over the few metres to his own chambers, rifling through his closet to find the familiar red robes. While he was already here he made sure to freshen up a little, put on the robes and smoothed down his hair. It wasn't quite the way it had been during the wedding, but close enough, and he was so eager to return. He also made sure to put on his veil, then decided to take the secret hallway to return. If anyone saw them, they might know what they would be up to…

“I’m back,” he announced himself, pushed open the other shelf to enter Jin Ling’s chambers again. As he righted himself he froze in place.

Jin Ling had changed as well. Just like his own robes, Jin Ling’s were a little messier than they had been during their wedding. The shirt almost slipped off of one shoulder, his ponytail had been dishevelled during the quick changing, and his boots were nowhere to be seen. Still he was the most handsome Lan Sizhui had ever seen.

He was panting a little from going so quickly, making the veil on his head move. Oddly enough, he didn’t feel that nervous. Jin Ling would be tender, he was sure of it.

“Sizhui,” Jin Ling sighed, and stepped closer. He took his hand, and walked him back to their bed.

Before he helped him step onto it, Jin Ling took a white sheet that was on the bedside table and spread it out on the bed. It took Lan Sizhui a moment to remember why he was doing this. Between a man and a woman, there would usually be a bit of blood, if she was a virgin. The sheet was there to catch it.

He blushed where he stood. In an odd way, he wanted to do this for Jin Ling. To make it just like it would be if he were a woman. To give him everything he couldn’t give him as a man. But then Jin Ling took his hand again, and Lan Sizhui lifted his skirts to step onto the bed.

Lan Sizhui tried to sit down as gracefully as he could, right on top of that white sheet, and looked up at his husband. The wide skirt of the robes were spread wide, as if he was some kind of princess. Very carefully Jin Ling sat by his side not to disturb any of it, but his hands were shaking when he reached out to lift the veil.

“I hope that you don’t tire of me telling you how beautiful you are,” Jin Ling said shyly.

“Never,” he replied with a smile. “I didn’t know how to do the make up though, I’m sorry.”

Jin Ling shook his head. He took the veil and pressed it to his mouth, taking in a deep breath too.

“You don’t need anything to be beautiful,” he continued, carefully setting the veil aside. “I merely wanted to… To think that maybe this- This was our wedding night.”

Jin Ling hadn’t been the only one to imagine what it must have been like. To do it on that night that they were so nervous, so utterly in love but didn’t even know it. Lan Sizhui was happy to pretend.

“My husband,” he said, leaning in closer, hands on the bed. “I am a little nervous. Will you be gentle? I haven’t lain with another man before.”

He could watch as Jin Ling’s breath hitched, and he reached out to cup his cheek.

“Of course,” Jin Ling stammered a little. It seemed acting wasn’t as easy for him as it was for Lan Sizhui. “It… to deflower you- I-”

“I am so happy that it’s you,” Lan Sizhui finished for him.

Just like that they didn’t need to talk anymore for a while. Jin Ling smiled and cupped his cheek to kiss him, slowly pressing Lan Sizhui down on the bed where he had been before. While they had been here plenty of times, it was different now. Lan Sizhui couldn’t help but think about what they were going to do, and a nervous excitement settled in his stomach.

But when Jin Ling’s hand started caressing him again, his arousal came back tenfold. He pressed closer to his husband, wanted him to caress more intimate places. First he rubbed his waist, then his back, and finally came to his ass again where he squeezed and Lan Sizhui whimpered into the kiss. So Jin Ling did it again. And again. Then tilted his head to bury his face in Lan Sizhui’s throat, kissing it through the mess of hair that spilled over it.

“I take it you like this?,” Jin Ling seemed to be smiling as he spoke. Something of Lan Sizhui’s was definitely poking him.

“Y-yes,” he let out a shuddering breath. “A-A-Ling. My headband… Take it off.”

He was not going to restrain himself this night.

Jin Ling’s eyes were wide as he pulled back, then glanced at the headband.

“Are you really sure?”

“I told you what it stands for, didn’t I?”

Jin Ling nodded, and finally reached out for it. Very carefully he pulled on the knot at the back of Lan Sizhui’s head, who couldn’t help but close his eyes. It came undone rather easily, and he felt it brush against his face as it fell down. For some reason having Jin Ling do that to him… he let out a soft moan.

“Sizhui,” he heard in his ear. “That sound. I wish to make you do that sound more.”

Lan Sizhui pulled him closer, into another kiss that they quickly deepened. It was getting hot in this room and between them, soon he could feel Jin Ling’s own growing excitement against his hip. Before, it had made him nervous, now he just wanted to see it. So he reached between them, cupping that erection through Jin Ling’s pants and feeling him gasp against his lips.

He rubbed it a little through his pants, like they had done when they were grinding together. To his marvel, he felt Jin Ling only grow within his hand and its movements. How much bigger would he become…?

With every passing moment, every touch and every kiss Lan Sizhui seemed to become more brave, or perhaps it was that his shy thoughts were driven away by Jin Ling. He started sliding his hands under his husband’s long tunic like shirt, started feeling the naked skin underneath and that toned body. All the way up to his chest, where Jin Ling then pulled back so he could help him take it off completely.

Lan Sizhui took his time to watch him.

His gaze seemed to make Jin Ling smile, made him look rather proud that Lan Sizhui desired him so. Still sitting up on their bed, he started to take off his long pants too, revealing that there was nothing underneath. Lan Sizhui’s eyes widened a little. Compared to himself, Jin Ling was _very_ big, his cock standing straight up at attention. It was very smooth, its head a little more pink than the shaft.

He wanted to touch it again.

But Jin Ling had different plans. He leaned close to kiss him again, his own hands wandering down to pull up the skirt more and more and more, until Lan Sizhui’s lower regions were completely exposed. With the haste with which he had gotten changed, there was nothing underneath either, his own erection now free.

“Sizhui,” Jin Ling said gently. “Do you want to… to give?”

“Me?,” Lan Sizhui was surprised. “No, you’re Sect Leader. I mean… I hadn’t even thought of that. No, you should do it.”

“Only if you’re sure,” Jin Ling insisted.

“I am. Do you… do you have any oils?”

Jin Ling nodded and glanced at the bedside table, where Lan Sizhui’s headband had joined the veil. Beside it stood a white ceramic bottle, the style of which seemed very familiar, like the one that Wei Wuxian had given him, but he had totally forgotten in his chambers. Jin Ling took it, but first gently pushed his hand between Lan Sizhui’s legs.

“Spread them a little for me, okay?”

Lan Sizhui did as he was told, even if he felt utterly embarrassed doing it. Jin Ling could see everything now! But he didn’t seem grossed out at all. His hand continued to be gentle as it caressed the inside of his thigh, watching Lan Sizhui closely and leaning down to kiss him every so often.

By the time he finally coated his fingers with the oil, both their lips were reddened from their kisses, though they were still unable to stop them. Jin Ling’s hand seemed a little clumsy, pressing between his cheeks. Then suddenly something pressed _into_ Lan Sizhui, and he flinched from the sudden penetration and pain that came with it.

“A-Ling!,” he blurted out, his voice panicked. Immediately Jin Ling pulled his fingers out again.

“Oh no, did that hurt?!” Jin Ling was wide eyed, afraid.

“I… Just a little. You did it so quickly…”

“I’m sorry, oh no I’m so sorry,” he mumbled and sat back, as if he wanted to crawl back and hide. But Lan Sizhui grabbed his arm.

“Just… try to be a little more gentle,” Lan Sizhui said softly. “I think we need to go slowly. I’m not… I’m not like a woman.”

Jin Ling looked less panicked at the moment, but raised an eyebrow at his comment.

“Please tell me you don’t think I like you less because of that,” he replied.

“No… well, I don’t know. It’s just that I can’t give you some things that a woman could. I don’t even know if it will feel good for you.”

“It will,” Jin Ling said with confidence. “Because it’s you. I don’t care about women. I realised I never did.”

He had come closer again, and taken Lan Sizhui’s hand. It was so very awkward to be talking, exposed as they were, but at the same time he was glad that they were.

“I never thought much about them either. Or men,” Lan Sizhui admitted. “Until you.”

Jin Ling was smiling again. He crawled back to where he had been, between his husband’s legs, and leaned down to kiss him. Once more his hands came to caress the inside of his thigh, this time his touches were even lighter, even more careful. Blindly he made sure to lube his fingers again, and pressed between Lan Sizhui’s cheeks. He was about to tense up thinking of that feeling again, but Jin Ling didn’t press into him that time. Just against him, rubbing and teasing softly. No one had ever touched him there like this, and with it being so light, he shuddered and let out a soft moan against Jin Ling’s lips.

“This better?,” Jin Ling gasped, having to pull away from their kiss. “Are you relaxed?”

“Mhn, hhmmm yeah,” Lan Sizhui mumbled. “Just go slow, please?”

“Of course… I… I need to see…”

Jin Ling sat up again, and looked between where Lan Sizhui’s legs were spread, still rubbing against his entrance. Lan Sizhui felt utterly embarrassed that he was watching him like this, looking so intently, that he just had to put an arm over his eyes to hide himself somewhat.

“I’m going to push in now,” Jin Ling warned him. “Just keep breathing.”

“Okay… Okay…”

Deep breaths, deep breaths. Stay relaxed, he said. Lan Sizhui told himself this over and over. He was a Lan, if there was one thing he had learned, it was to remain calm. He stilled his mind and kept breathing, this time what pressed into him was only one finger, and it went slowly, ever so slowly. What an odd feeling it was, to be stretched open so slowly.

“Does it still hurt?,” Jin Ling asked him.

“N- no…,” Lan Sizhui as panting, though he hadn’t been kissing Jin Ling for a while. “It’s… it’s not bad, you’re slicker than before.”

Maybe that’s what Wei Wuxian had meant when he had told him how important lube was. Without it, there would be pain? But it was so difficult to remember everything he had been told in such a situation, when he was so embarrassed and turned on at the same time. Jin Ling seemed to be leaning over him right now, he could feel his warmth, and then something pressing against the fabric of the sleeve that was over his arm. Kissing him.

“I feel like you’re getting more relaxed,” Jin Ling mumbled. He seemed calm, not like he was rushing things as he had when they had met the first time. Hunted for the first time. This was Sect Leader Jin Ling, who could be patient. “I’ll try to push in more, okay? Tell me if it hurts.”

“Just… use a lot of that oil,” Lan Sizhui reminded him.

He gasped when he felt the oil not just on Jin Ling’s fingers but on his entrance as well. Somehow it was warm to the touch, and before he had gotten used to it he felt more pressure entering his body. It was going to be a long process, but as hurried as it had started, Jin Ling didn’t want to hurt him again, and adjusted accordingly. His fingers entered deep inside him, what a shameful sight he must be at the moment. But every so often Jin Ling would touch his thighs, or his belly still covered by his robes. Those touches set him at ease, even when yet another finger joined to push into him.

How wide he must be stretched at this moment!

“Jin Ling, do you think you can… put it in?,” he asked, finally removing the arm that had been shielding him.

“I’m not sure. Maybe.”

Jin Ling’s cheeks were still flushed, he looked like he was holding back so badly, and Lan Sizhui did not want him to wait any longer. Neither did he want himself. He reached out to pull Jin Ling closer to him, and so he pulled out his fingers from him. Lan Sizhui had to gasp a little at the feeling.

He spread his legs wider as Jin Ling pressed closer, and reached between them.

“More- More oils,” he whispered, taking the little bottle from Jin Ling to do it himself this time, pouring it on his hand and then grasping his husband’s erection with it. Rubbing him gently, he made sure it was covered with it. It felt so hot and heavy in his hand, so big too that he almost doubted it could fit.

But by the gods, he wanted it to fit. He wanted Jin Ling so badly that he threw all worries to the wind and laid back.

“Take me, my husband,” he whispered, looking up at his handsome face. As he smiled, so did Jin Ling. “On this our wedding night, please deflower me.”

Jin Ling cursed under his breath, and Lan Sizhui had to hold back a laugh. Pretending that it was their wedding night, it really turned his husband on. He kissed him again, more forceful and passionately this time, leaving them both breathless and panting in the end.

“I’m… I’m gonna do it now,” Jin Ling whispered, and looked down to where they were about to be joined.

Lan Sizhui was about to take another deep breath to prepare himself, but Jin Ling was already pushing into him again. Despite the lube, it was a much bigger stretch than those fingers before. The tip of him slid inside, but then it stretched too far, and Lan Sizhui tensed up a little. He didn’t want Jin Ling to think he was hurting him again however, and he didn’t want him to stop. This was his first time, surely it was supposed to hurt in the beginning.

Nevertheless he felt tears form in his eyes, but at the moment he looked down, he noticed Jin Ling starting to look up. Quickly he wrapped his arms around his neck and pulled him close, to the crook of his neck. His husband took it as wanting him to kiss his neck, and so he did, as he continued to push into him.

He still wasn’t in all the way, and it hurt! It hurt!

Lan Sizhui’s breath came out in shuddering bursts, and now he felt tears rolling down his cheeks. Jin Ling was busy peppering his neck with kisses, an odd sensation. Feeling that kind of pleasure at the same time as this king of pain. When Jin Ling finally had pushed in all the way, Lan Sizhui wrapped his legs around him to keep him in place.

“A-A-Ling,” he gasped. “A moment… a moment please…”

He sounded so desperate. Begging him. And Jin Ling stilled. Kissed his neck again, then a little lower, but that’s when his lips found fabric instead of skin. As Lan Sizhui tried to breathe through the pain, feeling it ebb off ever so slowly, he suddenly found Jin Ling tearing on his robes. A ripping sound filled the air for a moment, all the layers of the robes ripped so they exposed his chest.

Immediately Jin Ling leaned down towards one nipple, licking over it and then taking it in his mouth. Lan Sizhui hadn’t even known that’s something he would do! He was so surprised, that he was even startled by the moan that came form his own lips. Jin Ling was sucking on his nipple and licking over it again and again, it felt so good that he found himself arching his back, but as he did, Jin Ling seemed to slide even deeper into him.

The pain… it was gone. Instead, the way his cock was moving inside him, brought him pleasure.

“Ling… Ling,” he moaned. “Can- Can you move I-”

Jin Ling hat pushed himself up, now he could see his tear stained face and his own expression fell.

“You cried?”

“It’s- It’s okay now. It only hurt for a moment,” Lan Sizhui lied. It didn’t matter now, he had finally gotten used to him. “I promise, I’m okay. Please keep going it feels so good.”

“You’re sure?”

Jin Ling looked so concerned, it warmed Lan Sizhui’s heart. He reached up to caress his cheek and smiled.

“Yes, husband. You make me feel good. Please let me do the same.”

“You do, Sizhui,” Jin Ling breathed, leaning closer. As he did, he pushed in deeper. “You’re so tight, so lovely I…”

“Just make love to me,” he sighed in reply.

As they kissed, Jin Ling started thrusting in a slow rhythm. As if afraid of breaking him, of hurting him again. Now that he was used to it, every thrust fanned the fire in both their bodies. Soon enough they were both moaning, clinging to each other. While he was still being gentle, Jin Ling brushed the streaks of tears from Lan Sizhui’s face, kissed them instead.

It took Lan Sizhui urging him on to thrust into him harder, and a little faster. But with his constant reassurances Jin Ling became more confident, thrusting as well as caressing and kissing his lips and his chest. Though suddenly, as he changed the angle of his thrust, Lan Sizhui had to cry out. A primal cry, that he couldn’t hold back even if he could have anticipated it.

“Right there,” he called out. “Oh, A-Ling, do it right there!”

Jin Ling seemed surprised, but did as he was told. What kind of thing was inside his body, that being taken this way felt so good?! Lan Sizhui did not know, and could not think. That spot inside him being teased, all that was in his mind was pleasure. He arched his back again, unable to keep quite still. He kept urging Jin Ling on to thrust into him harder and faster, wrapped his legs around his waist to keep him close.

“S-Sizhui,” Jin Ling moaned into his ear. “I think I’m gonna…”

Lan Sizhui had no clue what he was trying to say, and it did not matter to him. All he wanted was more. He pulled in Jin Ling for another passionate kiss, one that turned clumsy with the way his husband was fucking into him, a sound of skin on skin echoing in the air.

And then he felt that familiar sensation of his approaching orgasm. Jin Ling’s thing hitting that spot inside him made it feel different, like a bigger storm was approaching. But he couldn’t have even imagined what his orgasm would be like this way. First he felt something hot inside him, heard Jin Ling moan into his ear as he found his release. And feeling that seed inside him, while Jin Ling’s cock was was still thrusting into him, he too was overwhelmed. By heat, by this pleasure that came from his groin and travelled through his entire body. He even tightened around Jin Ling’s cock, making him groan again.

Then, finally, they stilled together. Only their frantic panting was still heard in the room.

Jin Ling’s hair had become a mess. At some point Lan Sizhui had run his hands through it, almost completely removing the band that held it together.

Jin Ling looked at him with his lids low, finally smiled.

“You feel so good, Sizhui,” he whispered.

“I never imagined it could be this good,” Lan Sizhui admitted.

“Me… me neither.”

“When… in a little while… can we do it again,” he asked, immediately feeling his ears heating up.

But Jin Ling didn’t seem offended, didn’t seem to think that it was indecent. Instead, he just smiled.

“I could never get enough of you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Check out my drawing of Lan Sizhui in his wedding clothes on my [twitter](https://twitter.com/valdrawsart/status/1341796905576247296) :3


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Jin Ling and Lan Sizhui remember that a third person is coming to join them, their happiness is temporarily shattered. Lan Sizhui gets the support of his fathers, and slowly returns to his friends' former closeness. They are interrupted when a Jin Cultivator's plan almost works to take down Jin Ling.

Lan Sizhui’s wedding dress was completely ruined.

Looking down at himself, it was more like rags than anything resembling clothing. Strangely enough the belt had survived most of Jin Ling’s onslaught. How indecent he looked at the moment! Not just were his clothes ruined, but he had covered them in his own seed as Jin Ling had made him come many times this night. Now his husband was lying by his side and was gently cleaning him up. Lan Sizhui was grateful for it, as he did not think he could move a single muscle at the moment.

Jin Ling was still looking at him as if he wished to devour him.

“A-Ling,” he said softly, making Jin Ling look at him. He seemed a little embarrassed, and quickly pulled a blanket over them both.

“I’m sorry about the robes…,” Jin Ling said, the tips of his ears red. “I don’t know what happened.”

“It’s okay,” Lan Sizhui replied, though it was a beautiful outfit and he was going to miss it. “It… It was really… You know.”

“You think so?,” Jin Ling smirked down at him. His hand had sneaked under the blanket and was caressing his chest.

Lan Sizhui nodded. Despite having made love multiple times, he found it difficult to say out loud that such a display of strength had aroused him. Just thinking about it he thought it might happen again, but his body was spent. Jin Ling pulled him into his arms, and he sighed in reply.

“Was it uhm…,” Jin Ling sounded nervous, and Lan Sizhui could hear his heart beating rapidly in his chest. “Was it any good? I… I hurt you after all and-”

Lan Sizhui put a finger on his lips to stop him from going down that rabbit hole.

“It was my first time, it’s only natural it hurts a little,” he said. “It didn’t last long, and after…”

He blushed.

“After, it was really, really good,” he finished.

“You feel incredible,” Jin Ling whispered, leaning down to press a kiss to Lan Sizhui’s forehead. “I never imagined it would be this good.”

“Me neither,” Lan Sizhui admitted. “I never thought about it much until I… Well I kind of walked in on Hanguang Jun and Senior Wei…”

Jin Ling had to grin widely.

“Really? They do it a lot?,” he asked.

“I think so. I didn’t realise at the time but pa- Senior Wei mentioned something about Hanguang Jun being a ‘dog’.” He remembered the scene now, when they had been out hunting and Wei Wuxian had been walking a bit funny. Now Lan Sizhui could understand why. He didn’t even know if he could walk at all!

“Hanguang Jun? A horny dog? I can’t believe it. Still waters truly run deep.”

Lan Sizhui had to laugh at those words, but it was true, he supposed. Maybe he took after his father then, wanting it even now after Jin Ling had already made love to him so many times. In the end they both did end up resting for the night, sleeping together in what was now their bed. Lan Sizhui had no desire to return to ‘his’ in the other chambers.

In the morning, Lan Sizhui sleepily kissed his husband, waking him that way. He could feel Jin Ling’s hands wander as he roused from his slumber, to naughty places where he squeezed and groped. Despite the early morning hour, Lan Sizhui found himself sitting in Jin Ling’s lap, taking his stiff cock inside him once more. This time he was more active, finding such pleasure in being stretched open, and in seeing Jin Ling react to his movements on top of him. He was the one giving him pleasure, not just taking it. In a strange way, that made him feel proud.

He didn’t mind starting out his day with Jin Ling spilling his seed inside him. Not at all.

The two of them were in an excellent mood all day, and even more free with their affections out in public, not caring if anyone would realise what had happened between them. Lan Sizhui had a hard time looking away from his husband, who even during meetings or training would glance back at him with a smile every few minutes. It soon became clear that nothing important would be achieved that day.

Lan Sizhui basked in their marital bliss that day, finding himself with Jin Ling alone for their dinner. At some point Jin Bai had organised it for them, rather than with other cultivators of the clan. He wouldn’t have been able to concentrate on conversation anyway.

“My Lord,” she bowed before both of them, holding a letter in her hands. The cover was white and blue. “This arrived for you today. I do not think it should wait until tomorrow.”

She left them then, leaving Lan Sizhui blinking at the very familiar cloud patterns on the letter. Something came back to him, something very important that the two of them had completely forgotten about in the past few days. Lan Jingyi was still under the impression that Lan Sizhui loved him, and that he was going to come and live with them from now on.

“Oh no.” Lan Sizhui’s hands trembled as he reached for the letter. Maybe… Maybe Lan Xichen wouldn’t allow Lan Jingyi to leave?

“It’s Jingyi, isn’t it?,” Jin Ling asked. He had paled too.

Lan Sizhui nodded. The awful handwriting confirmed it when he pulled open the letter. He started reading it out loud.

“Jin Ling, Sizhui. It took a lot of convincing, but Sect Leader has allowed me to leave. He does not know about anything that’s between us, just that you require someone else from the Lan Sect. I am to be your protector and adviser, though I do not know how much of that I can provide. But I want to try, I really do. My feelings have not changed, but I understand the situation you’re both in. Whatever you would expect of me, I will do. I will set out tomorrow, it won’t be greatly announced here, I’ll leave it to you if you wish to announce my arrival or not. I miss you both.”

Lan Sizhui sighed.

“Jingyi,” he finished the letter. “Is it just me or do his words sound sad?”

“He cares for you greatly,” Jin Ling replied. “He was sad. And… and looking forward to this. What… What do we do, Sizhui?”

“I… It will be too late to stop him,” he replied. “We will have to wait until he arrives before we talk to him.”

“Do we send him back? It would break his heart,” Jin Ling sighed. “And it wouldn’t look good towards Sect Leader Lan.”

“It depends on what Jingyi might be willing to do. It should be his decision.”

Jin Ling nodded but their mood had dampened considerably. Lan Sizhui found himself lost in thought for the rest of the evening, even lying awake at night, unable to sleep even with Jin Ling by his side. His husband. He had sat up and was watching him sleep, shirtless as he did most nights. Something troubled him, ever since he had read Jingyi’s letter. This something had been with him before, before he got married, before he and Jin Ling had made love for the first time.

It was something that he noticed when he had said goodbye to Jingyi after their wedding. It wouldn’t let him go, and wouldn’t let him rest. What exactly were his feelings towards him? He had been his best friends for years, ever since Lan Sizhui had arrived at Cloud Recesses. When Lan Wangji had been away the first few years, it was Lan Jingyi that had helped him every step of the way. They had become so close that it had been difficult to think of a life without him.

Even now he was looking forward to Jingyi returning to him. To them, he corrected himself. They could certainly offer him a place in the sect, it wouldn’t be too strange that the Lan husband wanted another from his sect here. But Jingyi was under the impression he was here for more than that. And that was what Lan Sizhui could not stop thinking about.

He stood, pulled his light robe tighter around himself and wandered over to the window. He opened it to let the cool night air calm him down, the moonlight casting a soft shimmer onto him. As he sighed, his breath left a white cloud in the air that slowly drifted away.

He loved Jin Ling deeply. He knew that to be the truth. Before, he had thought that was all there was. The love he held for Lan Jingyi was a different kind, one born from feeling like family for the longest time. But it had changed, hadn’t it? Somewhere, underneath all that excitement about the wedding, about the changes in his life this love had changed and he hadn’t noticed it. How was it possible to love two people at the same time?

Was he really that selfish? Could he not just love his husband and leave it at that? It was his duty now, it wasn’t even just about what he did and did not feel. What would others say if _he_ took a concubine, rather than his husband? People did see him as the bride after all, and they weren’t completely wrong. He had a different standing than Jin Ling.

“What are you doing?,” Jin Ling’s sleepy voice came from behind him, and a warm body pressed against his back. Without looking down, Lan Sizhui put his hands on top of Jin Ling’s that had wrapped around him. “It’s cold outside.”

“I couldn’t sleep,” he replied truthfully. “Wanted some fresh air. Let me close it again, don’t catch a cold.”

Jin Ling hummed, letting his chin rest on Lan Sizhui’s shoulder. With his husband clinging to him it was a little difficult to close the window, but in the end he managed and they returned to bed where he made sure to tuck his husband in. Playing with his hair, Jin Ling was soon out again and he was left alone with his thoughts. In the evening, Jingyi should be arriving. What was he going to do…?

He did not get much rest that night, instead sneaked out rather early to play his guqin for a while. Getting lost in this for a bit had a soothing effect on him, and he gathered at least a little energy for the coming day. Having slacked off the day before, the two of them had to work a little more seriously that day. It was difficult for Lan Sizhui to keep concentrating, feeling by noon that he might just nod off if he didn’t get some fresh air.

Excusing himself, he did just that, running into a cultivator that was familiar to him. He remembered Jin Fang’s words, the warnings and his own investigations. He had wanted to protect Jin Ling from those that may threaten harm to him, but Jin Ling was precisely why he had not followed up on it. He strolled to the man, taking in his sharp features, his dark hair tied in a tight bun on top of his head.

“Good day,” he greeted the man, bowing a little and earning a much deeper bow in return. “I’m still getting to know everyone, would you mind reminding me of your name.”

“It’s Lin Ping,” he introduced himself. An outer disciple then. Perhaps he had some ambitions above those currently in his standing. “Does Lan-furen need something?”

Lan Sizhui stiffened. He did not mind when Jin Ling called him his bride, but hearing a rather feminine title associated with him was strange. And coming from this person in particular… Perhaps some of the Jin sect were not quite happy with him being here…? It was possible.

“I merely needed some fresh air,” he said with a smile. “Thank you for the offer. I do not enjoy leaving Jin Ling on his own, though he is a capable leader. He can do without me for a while.”

“Mhm,” Lin Ping replied. Not very talkative then? Or just careful being around Lan Sizhui?

“He’s been doing rather well, hasn’t he?,” he continued chatting. “I think so far everyone is quite pleased with what he has been doing.”

“Mhm,” he said again. “Though not everyone has been agreeing with sending lookouts for the towers.”

“Yes, I understand it brings up unpleasant memories,” he replied. “But I agree that it is a good cause. Even if it was created by Meng Yao.”

“That is true,” Lin Ping eventually said. Agreeing with him. Perhaps simply because he was the Sect Leader’s husband. Lan Sizhui glanced up at him, trying to glean something from the expression in his eyes. But he looked as genuine as anyone.

Either Lan Sizhui was really bad at this, or this man was just what he presented himself to be. An outer disciple of the Jin Sect doing what he could to further his cultivation. Lan Sizhui sighed to himself, then bade him farewell to return to the hall. It seemed that they had just finished up there, and Jin Ling was returning to supervise training so Lan Sizhui returned to wandering through the grounds of Koi Tower. He found the other two men that were pointed out to him, but his conversations with them went similarly. Jin Qing was a rather lively sort that actually said some praise about Jin Ling unprompted, while the shorter Jin Wu was thoughtful and quiet. Still nothing to indicate that they were conspiring together or by themselves.

That way the day passed and Lan Sizhui had more thoughts and worries in his head than before. None of his attempts bore any fruit. How was he supposed to help his husband if he couldn’t even do this?!

He had forgotten all about his earlier troubles when he returned to his chambers. All he wanted right now was a nice cup of tea and to retire early. But he wasn’t alone.

“Jingyi,” he blurted out.

There he was, sitting at the low table, a small pack of his things by his side. He must have arrived earlier and been sent here to wait for him. Seeing him in the Gusu Lan style room, it almost felt like he was coming home.

Except this was his home now, he reminded himself.

Lan Jingyi got up and walked towards him, closed the door that Lan Sizhui had left open. He couldn’t move somehow. Seeing his friend after everything that had happened, he was frozen. It almost seemed as if Lan Jingyi had grown, but he had always been taller than him.

Lan Sizhui’s heart thumped heavily in his chest. Lan Jingyi was standing so close to him.

“Sizhui,” he finally said. He was smiling. That beautiful smile. Standing this close, Lan Sizhui could smell him, a flood of comfort for his tired mind. “Sizhui I couldn’t stop thinking about you. I would have promised Lan Xichen anything just so I could come here.”

He was standing even closer to him now, and a hand came to Lan Sizhui’s waist. It felt hot there, his whole presence felt like he was a thousand degrees hot. The way Jin Ling made him feel. What was wrong with him?!

“Jingyi I… there’s been-”

Lan Sizhui didn’t get further than that. For a split second before it happened, Lan Jingyi had glanced at his lips. Then he was pulled flush against him, and Lan Jingyi’s lips pressed to his own. Lan Sizhui’s eyes went wide, but his friend’s were closed as he deepened the kiss. Why on earth was he kissing him back? Why was he letting their tongues meet?

He was married!

But his eyes closed on their own, his arms moved to wrap around Lan Jingyi’s neck as they kissed, with him pressed against the door. How was Lan Jingyi so good at this? This kiss took his breath away and made him crave more, made his knees weak so that he almost fell. But Lan Jingyi held him up, made sure he was securely in his arms.

When they did have to pull away, Lan Jingyi was about to carry him to somewhere they could sit, but finally Lan Sizhui’s brain started working again and he pushed him away.

“We- We can’t do that,” he blurted out.

“I’m sorry, was this your first kiss?,” Lan Jingyi asked.

“No! I- Actually- Jingyi…,” he sighed. “I’m married.”

“So?” Lan Jingyi didn’t seem to be bothered by this, he didn’t know that things had changed. The two sat down where Lan Jingyi had been earlier. Some tea had already been made and Lan Sizhui was grateful he could pour himself a cup. “Jin Ling was the one who invited me. He said he didn’t want to stand between us.”

“I know,” Lan Sizhui sighed. “He… He meant well. He didn’t realise that I was in love with him.”

“Wait… what?” Lan Jingyi’s smile fell. He was going to break his heart. Lan Sizhui wanted to cry. “It was a misunderstanding?”

Lan Sizhui nodded, avoided looking into his eyes but couldn’t do so forever. As the realisation settled in, he could tell how much it hurt his friend. That he was about to cry.

“I convinced Lan Xichen,” he mumbled. “I left…”

“I know, Jingyi… I’m so sorry. We couldn’t tell you in time I… I never meant to hurt you. I’m so sorry.”

Lan Jingyi let out a shuddering breath, and one hand came to his face. Lan Sizhui didn’t know what to say anymore, or how he could make him feel better. But a broken heart was nothing to be fixed so easily.

“We can do whatever is best for you,” Lan Sizhui said softly. “You… You could go back and I will explain. Or you can stay.”

“Stay?,” he let his hand fall and now there were real tears rolling down his cheek. “And watch the two of you be happily in love?! You’ve got to be kidding me!”

“I was just saying…,” Lan Sizhui trailed off.

“I can’t believe this,” Lan Jingyi was raising his voice. “I thought after all this time I could finally be with you. Even if it was like this! But you never loved me, did you?”

“Of course I love you…”

“Don’t- Don’t say it like that. You know what I mean.”

Lan Jingyi didn’t realise that it was exactly the truth that Lan Sizhui was saying. But how could he really just tell him that he loved them both. Would he even believe it? How could anyone be so selfish as two want two people at the same time? Surely neither Lan Jingyi or Jin Ling would indulge him in such an indecent and selfish matter.

“I’m sorry,” he said instead. “I wish I could undo everything.”

“Well, it’s done.” Lan Jingyi’s heartbreak had turned into a quiet anger. “I can’t go back. So I suppose I’m stuck here.”

“Jingyi…”

“Don’t say you’re sorry again. Just don’t I- Is there any place I can go? I need to get out of here.”

“You can stay here,” Lan Sizhui said as he stood. “I will leave. Take these chambers as your own.”

He didn’t know what else to say. How else to tell Lan Jingyi that he cared so deeply. So he left, leaving him in what used to be his home, and returned to Jin Ling’s chambers. There he waited, hoping that his husband would first return here. But hearing the shouting from the other rooms a little while later, it was evidently not the case. He couldn’t quite make out what was being said, and he didn’t really want to know if he was honest with himself. It was only more heartbreak.

Then it was silent. For quite some time. Lan Sizhui had started pacing in this room, unable to sit still but too tired and emotional to go anywhere else. Finally Jin Ling returned to him.

“A-Ling!,” he called and ran to him. “I’m so sorry, I told him that it was a misunderstanding. That he could leave or stay but of course he… He’s hurting.”

“I know,” Jin Ling said, not looking into his eyes. Something was off. Jin Ling pulled away from him and walked to the other side of the room. His hands came to his hair, curling in it for a few moments. Then suddenly he took off his outer robes and bracers, kicked his boots to the side and slipped under the blankets in their bed.

Lan Sizhui blinked a few times.

“A-Ling?,” he asked. “What… What did he say to you?”

“Nothing. We deal with it tomorrow.”

And that, apparently, was that. Utterly confused, Lan Sizhui finally prepared himself for bed as well. He wanted to reach out to Jin Ling, at least feel the comfort of his embrace but he had turned away, and all he could look at was his back. He had truly and utterly messed up everything. For a few days they had been so happy. But Lan Sizhui didn’t do the right thing, and now his husband wouldn’t even look at him.

In the darkness tears rolled down his cheeks, but he forced himself not to make a sound. He just laid down in their bed, hoping that at least some sleep would take him that night. But with his mind in shambles what sleep he did get was filled with nightmares. It wasn’t the massacre that had actually happened, this time it was something new. The still form of Wei Wuxian in his arms, torn to shreds by something he couldn’t protect him from. He was weeping helplessly, calling out for Lan Wangji to do something, to do anything. What was there that Hanguang Jun could not do?! But they were both gone. Upon seeing his one true love, Lan Wangji had died of heartbreak. It was something Lan Sizhui thought he could understand.

His heart ached when he woke up with a start. Losing his fathers the way he had his family back in Burial Mounds… He wasn’t sure he could survive it.

Jin Ling had already woken up and dressed, he looked at him strangely.

“Sizhui?”

“N-nothing,” he mumbled, feeling suddenly parched. With his feet bare he walked towards their refreshments, gulping down some water as if he were a dying man.

“You need to get dressed,” Jin Ling said. “I’ll have to announce Jingyi staying in a bit. Or people will be wondering.”

Lan Sizhui almost dropped the glass he was holding.

“S-Staying? So he’s staying?”

“Yes. Both sects would lose too much face if this came out.”

“I… I see,” Lan Sizhui replied. Carefully he poured another glass and drank that in one go as well. “I’ll get ready then.”

Had they talked this morning when he had still been asleep? Or had they come to this conclusion last night but didn’t tell him about it? Everything had become so strange, Jin Ling seemed so distant. Just a day ago he couldn’t keep his hands off of him. All he wanted was a single touch from him, just a tiny reassurance that things would be alright. Somehow.

Instead he picked one of the robes that bore the colours of the Lanling Jin Sect, with the cloud patterns of Cloud Recesses. It seemed appropriate for such an announcement. He turned to Jin Ling to ask him for help with his headband, just a single gesture, but he was already leaving, making Lan Sizhui hurry behind him.

“Jin Ling, are you mad at me?,” he asked as he caught up. “Please, you’re not… I just didn’t mean for all this to happen. Please talk to me.”

Jin Ling stopped in his tracks and finally turned to him.

“It’s just not easy,” he finally said.

“I know.” He glanced around to see if anyone was watching them at the moment. Then he took Jin Ling’s hand. “Do you hate me?”

“Of course not,” Jin Ling sighed. He leaned in closer and pressed a kiss to his lips, but it didn’t seem that his heart was in it. “It’s just rather complicated. I know there’s no going back to how things were.”

Lan Sizhui nodded. Looking back on their travels and night hunt, he almost preferred it that way. At least then they had all been together, laughter had filled their days. Now Lan Sizhui wasn’t sure how to get through his days. Jin Ling had evidently some resentment for him, and Lan Jingyi was within his reach but he could never act upon his feelings, indecent as they were.

One step at a time then.

“Let us go then,” Lan Sizhui whispered.

On their way Lan Jingyi joined them too, greeting them curtly. For just a second Lan Sizhui smiled at him, for it was what he always did when he saw his best friend. Then he was reminded of their current situation. They filed into the main hall of Koi Tower where other prominent members of the sect had gathered. Jin Fang greeted Lan Sizhui with a smile, but he found it hard to return it.

“Before we continue with our daily matters there is one more matter to announce,” Jin Ling looked as firm and authoritative as he always did, only with slight bags under his eyes, Lan Sizhui now noticed. “My husband has requested a confidante of the Gusu Lan Sect to join us. I have agreed with his request. Therefore from now on Lan Jingyi will join the Lanling Jin Sect as a protector and adviser. Please welcome him with the same kindness you have shown my husband.”

Lan Jingyi stepped forward and bowed to the other cultivators, quite deeply too.

“I humbly greet the cultivators of the Lanling Jin Sect. I am honoured to have been welcomed,” he said, more politely than Lan Sizhui had ever heard him in his life. He was rather impressed he had to admit.

There were quite a few welcoming voices, some even impressed, having heard Lan Sizhui’s stories about his performance during their night hunts.

“Is the Gusu Lan Sect taking over now?,” came a voice from someone in the back. Lan Sizhui tried to see who it had been, but before he could, Jin Ling had stood up.

“They are not,” he said very firmly. “Has my husband not served this sect faithfully? Has he not worked hard these past few months to bring the sect towards what it once was?! Make no mistake, we are not there yet. Rather than throw around baseless accusations, work hard for your sect! This will be the last that I speak of this.”

Silence settled in the room for a while. Whoever had spoken up did not dare to after these words. Lan Sizhui let his gaze wander over the faces in the crowd again, taking in carefully who might show to be against this decision. He did not even mind the story Jin Ling had told, it seemed that it was working to set most cultivators at ease. Finally Lan Jingyi settled behind him, and other proceedings began.

He tried his best to concentrate on those. New disciples were being introduced, coming from noble houses of the area. Jin Ling interviewed them carefully and firmly, refusing those that did not seem to wish to follow the path of cultivation earnestly. Were it his grandfather, they might have simply been accepted because of their status and their coin, but Jin Ling had other ideals. He focused on a strong foundation, rather than be great simply because of their numbers.

Every so often Lan Sizhui found himself wanting to turn around, to face Lan Jingyi. The urge was overwhelming, but he fought it with every fibre of his being. For he did not know what kind of hatred me may see in his friend’s eyes if he did.

It was a tiring day, one that was interrupted in the early evening by a servant coming to whisper into Jin Ling’s ear. Lan Sizhui faintly heard words that made his heart skip. ‘Wei Wuxian’ and ‘Hanguang Jun’. Immediately he shot up to face them.

“Are they here?,” he asked. And when he got a nod in return he did not care what it looked like. He sprinted out of the hall, pushed the doors open to see them standing just at the top of the stairs, graceful as ever. “Hanguang Jun! Senior Wei!”

He continued to run. As he had shouted towards them they had turned, and Wei Wuxian opened his arms so that he could run into them. He was lifted effortlessly, twirled around and then pulled into a hug that he so eagerly returned.

“Papa,” he whispered, holding onto him as the emotions of the last days overwhelmed him completely. Tears streamed down his face again, and he felt Lan Wangji step closer as if to shield him from prying eyes.

“Where?,” his deep voice asked from behind him.

Lan Sizhui just pointed towards his chambers, and Wei Wuxian set him down gently. With an arm around him they quickly walked that way. His head he held low, hoping he wouldn’t lose too much face if others saw him. Once safely inside, he simply felt that he would collapse. Wei Wuxian made sure he did so comfortably on the seats by the low table.

“I knew this was going to be bad for him,” Wei Wuxian cursed, a hand still on Lan Sizhui’s back. “It’s just because of your Lan’s damned sense of duty that he did this! Look at him, Lan Zhan!”

“No, papa…”

“Let him speak, if he wishes to,” Lan Wangji said calmly. But Lan Sizhui could see in his eyes that he was worried too.

Lan Sizhui took in a deep breath, and started telling them everything that had transpired. His work in the sect, being accepted here generally, and how he and Jin Ling had slowly found to one another. That there had been misunderstandings but for a few days he had been so very happy. And how Jin Ling had invited Lan Jingyi to make _him_ happy. Now he was here and he had to confess to his friend that he could not return his feelings.

Lan Sizhui bit on his lower lip. Could he tell them about his feelings? Would they judge him?

“A-Yuan,” Wei Wuxian whined. “Your love life is more complicated than I could have expected.”

He looked down, hands curling into fists on top of his thighs.

“There’s more,” Lan Wangji commented. “Sizhui.”

He said his name so gently. With so much love. Lan Sizhui looked up at him and his eyes filled with tears again. Lan Wangji had been so good to him.

“I feel so selfish,” he whispered. “I told… I told Jingyi that I couldn’t be with him. I’m married and in love. But I… I still feel… That way about him too.”

Wei Wuxian seemed to understand first, as he went ‘ooohhh’ and Lan Wangji just looked at him. The former turned to the latter to explain: “He’s in love with both of them.” It was incredible that Wei Wuxian even knew he had to explain, Lan Wangji’s expression hadn’t changed at all.

“I see,” Lan Wangji said. “The odds are slim they would feel the same way.”

Lan Sizhui sighed. It sounded even worse when he said it like this.

“Impossible,” he agreed. “If I told anyone… they’d think I’m selfish or… Or like Jin Guangyao. People gossipped about him all the time.”

“You are as far away from him as is humanly possible,” Wei Wuxian leaned in and put his hand over Lan Sizhui’s. “Your heart is kind and true. It simply has more room to love than some others. What he did was something very different.”

“People wouldn’t see it that way,” he said gloomily. “Not that it matters. Jin Ling would feel betrayed, Jingyi would feel used. I don’t know what to do. It just hurts.”

Lan Wangji may not be a man of a lot of words, but he knew what to do when to do it. He simply walked around the table, sat besides Lan Sizhui, and pulled him into a hug. Suddenly he felt like he was eight years old again, when he had fallen and hurt himself and Lan Wangji had held him exactly like this until the pain subsided. Now it wasn’t as easy as a scraped knee though.

“I think A-Ling is upset with me too,” he whispered. “Maybe because I told Jingyi without consulting him first. He’s barely looked at me all day.”

“That kid,” Wei Wuxian cursed under his breath. “Learned all his communication skills from his uncle. Or should I say lack thereof. I will talk to him.”

“Papa no…,” Lan Sizhui whined a bit. “You can’t tell him this. You just can’t.”

“I can still tell him to open his damn mouth and talk to you,” he replied. “This is making all of you miserable.”

“I don’t know how to fix this,” Lan Sizhui finally said, sounding absolutely miserable. “I should… I should make sure to commit to my husband. Maybe one day it won’t hurt anymore.”

Wei Wuxian sighed.

“Mh mhn,” Lan Wangji seemed to disagree. “Follow your heart.”

If only it were as easy as that. Lan Wangji wasn’t in his shoes, and he couldn’t read the minds of others. It was sweet though, that he tried to soothe him in what way he could. To be fair, their company already helped him immensely. For a while they changed the subject, and Lan Wangji distracted him with questions about his cultivation. He showed him what music he had been working on, and the two were lost in it for a little while, as Lan Wangji gave him feedback and corrected a few mistakes he had made.

How lucky he was to have Lan Wangji as his personal teacher. After a while, he even managed to smile, when they were both sitting together with their qins and playing together. Wei Wuxian watched them for a while, a dreamy smile on his face, until he eventually joined in too. Maybe it was the effect of the song, or the presence of his fathers, but the turmoil in his mind was soothed a little, and he found himself relaxing his shoulders once more.

Then, of course, Lan Jingyi had to knock on the door. He bowed to them deeply.

“Sect Leader asks if you would like to stay for dinner,” he said.

“Already an errand boy?,” Wei Wuxian teased, though Lan Jingyi did not return his smile.

“I was on the way anyway, might as well ask.”

Lan Wangji stood and approached him. Immediately Lan Jingyi’s attitude vanished.

“Stand up straight,” he ordered, and Lan Jingyi did so, holding his sword by his side. Then he circled him like a lion ready to pounce on his prey. “You still represent our sect. Do not forget that.”

“Of course not, Hanguang Jun!,” Lan Jingyi said quickly. “I did not mean to sound that way.”

“Mhn.” He made another circle, and Lan Jingyi’s eyes met Lan Sizhui’s briefly. His friend looked a little panicked, like he used to do during inspections. But then he made a face and Lan Sizhui had to smile, hiding it behind his sleeve. Lan Wangji returned to his seat. “You should continue to train with one another. Do not forget your teachings.”

“Yes, Hanguang Jun!,” they both said in unison.

This felt very familiar. All that was missing was that they had to do handstands for something they did wrong, or a rule that they broke. Though he supposed technically Lan Wangji did not have that power over them anymore. Not that it would mean they wouldn’t do it. His father had that effect on people.

Wei Wuxian gave him a knowing look.

“Jingyi, come sit with us,” he said. “We can’t stay for dinner but tea is fine.”

Lan Jingyi had always been seen as the lowest ranking one. It had always been him who served the tea, and he quickly did so now, as if nothing had changed. As if Lan Sizhui wasn’t wearing a golden yellow robe at the moment.

“How are they treating you here?,” Wei Wuxian asked. “Have there been rumours about a hostile takeover?”

He laughed at his own words but Lan Sizhui sighed.

“This morning, when Jingyi was introduced. He shut it down but I am still concerned that this might be an issue. Be it against us or him.” He smiled and nodded as Lan Jingyi pushed a cup with tea towards him. The warmth of it felt good in his hands. “I have been trying to find out if there are people conspiring against him, but no results so far.”

“You really think there are people like that in the sect?,” Lan Jingyi sounded genuinely worried. It felt like a relief to hear that. He still cared.

“It’s possible,” Wei Wuxian explained. “The sect’s former leader stirred up a lot of trouble. Then they were without one for a while, and there are those that resent Jiang Cheng having basically led for a while. Jin Ling is still quite young, and without the guidance of…”

Wei Wuxian trailed off. All that was still fresh in his mind. As he looked away, Lan Wangji reached out to hold his hand.

“Well, we’re here now,” Lan Sizhui said softly. “Maybe we can figure it out.”

“Mhn.” Lan Wangji agreed. “Good heads on your shoulders.”

Lan Jingyi suddenly looked very surprised.

“Me… me too?”

Lan Wangji nodded solemnly. And just like that Lan Jingyi was absolutely speechless. He sat up a little straighter then, eventually smiling faintly to himself. Seeing him like that, Lan Sizhui couldn’t help but smile too. Sitting together like this, things didn’t seem so bad. Maybe they could both get over what they were feeling.

And be friends again. One day.

There was another knock on the door, and Jin Ling poked his face inside. Wei Wuxian got very excited, despite his earlier anger, and was quick to invite him inside. Not that it was his place to invite anyone into these chambers that weren’t his. But that had never stopped him.

“Jingyi, you never came back,” Jin Ling complained. “Are they staying or not?!”

“We are not,” Wei Wuxian answered in his place, while Lan Jingyi facepalmed because he had completely forgotten why he had come here in the first place. “We have some business to attend to. But we will send word in a few days, alright, nephew?”

“Don’t call me that, I’m Sect Leader now,” Jin Ling said petulantly, and crossed his arms. “But fine, if you wish to dine with us, being notified in advance would be good.”

“Of course, _Sect Leader_ ,” Wei Wuxian emphasised the title and grinned. He leaned in a little closer and his smile seemed a bit more gentle. “Are you doing alright?”

“Of course I am,” Jin Ling replied quickly. “It’s been going fine, really. Besides, I got Sizhui and Jingyi now, don’t I?!”

“That’s true.” Wei Wuxian eyed him for a while longer, making Jin Ling a little nervous under his gaze. “Well, we’ll have more time to talk in a few days. Make sure you don’t burn the place down until then, alright?”

The three of them stood quickly as Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji did the same. They walked around them towards the door but stopped as if to inspect the three standing at attention. Almost like they had back at Cloud Recesses. Wei Wuxian stepped up to Lan Sizhui, and suddenly pulled him into another hug. He ruffled his hair a bit and gave him a knowing smile. Lan Sizhui nodded in return. He would try his hardest go get through this, and he was going to be okay eventually.

Then Wei Wuxian turned to Lan Jingyi, and pulled him into a hug as well. Lan Jingyi yelped a little at the sudden motion, but then laughed in his embrace. It was much shorter than the one before, but his friend seemed to be happy to have received one as well.

And after that… Wei Wuxian turned to Jin Ling. Who noticed.

“Oh you’re not!,” he called out.

“Oh I am!”, Wei Wuxian replied. “I can tell you want one! Admit it!”

“Never! Get the hell away from me!”

Jin Ling jumped back, but Wei Wuxian followed quickly. The two started to chase each other around the room, making Lan Sizhui and Lan Jingyi laugh. Jin Ling put up a rather noble fight trying to evade him, throwing some pillows into his path but Wei Wuxian would not be stopped. Oh no, he would chase until he had caught Jin Ling, and eventually did, hugging him too.

His husband looked absolutely miserable. But as they laughed he noticed Jin Ling relax a little in Wei Wuxian’s embrace. His feelings for him were still rather difficult, but during their night hunting with him, he had slowly relaxed around him. They all liked his company, even if some weren’t quite ready to admit it yet.

Suddenly, they were alone again. If the three of them together could be called ‘alone’. The silence in the air was certainly awkward, none of them daring to speak the first word. Lan Sizhui debated to leave without saying anything, but Jin Ling beat him to it.

“I suppose that’s that,” Lan Jingyi mumbled more to himself than his friend.

“Here I was wondering how to deal with us,” Lan Sizhui smiled. He carefully looked over, and Lan Jingyi was already watching him.

“They did not have any advice?,” his friend asked.

Lan Sizhui shook his head. He still did not know what ‘follow your heart’ meant in this situation. Until he figured that out, he was still in the same spot he had been.

Lan Jingyi sighed.

“It is what it is now,” he said vaguely. “I guess I’m protecting you now.”

“You did that before too,” Lan Sizhui pointed out. “Just… more official.”

“Mhm. Just not looking forward to… watching. You know?”

“I don’t think you have to worry about that for a while,” Lan Sizhui replied, looking down at his hands, grasping each other. “A-Ling is mad at me. Because I didn’t talk to him before talking to you. I think.”

Lan Jingyi watched him for a while, he could feel his eyes on him. It made him even more nervous, but in the end he steeled himself to smile at his friend.

“It’s just us three, Jingyi,” he said. “And we have a sect to lead now. I hope that we can do this together at least.”

“Of course,” Lan Jingyi nodded. “It’s more important than… You know. Hanguang Jun is counting on us.”

At least they could be civil towards one another. Even though Jin Ling hadn’t been part of their conversation they started working a little more normally with one another. They took their time to show Lan Jingyi around as well, the three of them once more pausing at the armoury like they had done what felt like such a long time ago. Eventually, they even laughed together again. Perhaps all they needed to get back into their rhythm was a night hunt.

The opportunity presented itself that very day, when another servant had welcomed a woman from a nearby village, merely an hour away. Something had showed up there that spooked the farmers, had killed cattle but no humans yet. As it was close, Jin Ling decided it had to be the three of them to take care of it. Packing up their things, Lan Sizhui felt elated at the prospect of being like they were before.

And it really almost was like it had been before, except that they were treated with a bit more respect around these parts. People knew that Jin Ling was Sect Leader, and he was his husband, and once they realised who Lan Jingyi was, he was treated the same way. To his surprise. But once they had their first lead he turned and grinned to himself. It definitely felt different than being at Cloud Recesses, especially for Lan Jingyi.

This time they had to stalk an undead beast, the spirit of which had materialised and had been killing people’s life stock. Thankfully they had been notified before the creature could move on to humans. Jin Ling and Lan Jingyi were excellent at tracking it, pointing out tracks and traces of spiritual energy that it left behind. They were able to draw a simple array to keep the beast confined to a single area of a nearby forest before launching their attack.

While Lan Sizhui’s sword could use some practice, he decided to take out his guqin as the other two drew their swords. Lan Jingyi gave him a brief glance but he smiled at him, he had a plan after all. Ever since coming here he had been working on this, and as he played the first few notes of his composition spiritual energy like faintly blue mist started radiating from his instrument. It slowly spread out in the area that they had designated. It didn’t affect the spiritual beast, but he could watch it affect his friends.

They started moving just a little bit faster, their strikes just a bit stronger, be they from their swords or their magical attacks. Lan Jingyi was surprised by his own strength and glanced over at Lan Sizhui again, who gave him a nod. He looked rather impressed, and Lan Sizhui sat up a little straighter. It was working how he had intended it to!

With his support the beast was felled, its spirit dissipating into the afternoon sky.

“Wow, I feel great,” Jin Ling was also smiling. The last notes of his song were fading. “Good day today.”

“You doofus,” Lan Jingyi nudged his shoulder with the hilt of his sword, sheathed once more. “It was Sizhui!”

“Wait, what?” He turned towards Lan Sizhui who stood up again, packing away his instrument. “Your playing, I thought it was to soothe it, keep it here.”

“No,” he replied gently. “I’ve been working on this myself. It is to boost your spiritual powers.”

Jin Ling’s eyes widened. It seemed he now fully realised the effect his song had had.

“Worked on this yourself? That’s incredible!”

He rushed over to him, helping Lan Sizhui stand. He cupped the back of his head and was about to lean in, but Lan Sizhui looked to the side, avoiding his and Lan Jingyi’s gaze. Jin Ling took the hint and did not kiss him, though every part of Lan Sizhui screamed for him to do it. And once he was done he wanted Lan Jingyi to do the same. The two of them to kiss him until he was out of breath.

Instead they shared an awkward moment until Lan Sizhui suggested that they should report to the village and return. So they did, all three of them ignoring this strange thing that seemed to be between them. The villagers were grateful but Jin Ling refused any of their offering of coin or other tribute. He really was a very generous leader. Though he indulged them a bit when they had returned to Koi Tower.

“Could you ask Jin Bai to show you the inner disciples?,” Jin Ling turned to Lan Jingyi. “We should have a good dinner tonight.”

“Gladly,” Lan Jingyi replied with a big grin, probably already imagining the good food that would be waiting for them. He rushed off quickly, leaving Jin Ling with Lan Sizhui.

The moment he was out of sight Jin Ling grabbed him by the waist and pulled him close into a kiss. Lan Sizhui was shocked for just a moment, but kissed back eagerly. Jin Ling wasn’t mad at him anymore! His heart lurched in his chest even as he was led somewhere. He didn’t realise where until Jin Ling had pulled back and they were panting against each other’s lips. They were behind a building, close to the wall surrounding the entire compound.

Jin Ling didn’t stop here, didn’t stop to just kiss him. His hands wandered to his belt, undoing it and letting it fall to the ground. Was he going to do him right here?! They were rather hidden, but someone could come here and see them…

“A-Ling,” he whimpered. “S-Someone could-”

“They won’t,” Jin Ling interrupted. His hands had pushed open Lan Sizhui’s robes, and sneaked his hand down his pants. His arousal was not able to hide at this point. “Trust me. You want me, don’t you?”

“Y-Yes,” he whispered breathlessly, pressing into his touch. Just like that his worries were gone, Jin Ling’s kisses to his neck, where he nibbled and sucked on his skin did that so easily. “Ling-Er… Ling-Er…Gege…”

Jin Ling held him close as his hand shifted to push into him. As they kissed he felt a first finger do just that and he had to gasp. At the same time he could feel Jin Ling’s own arousal, so big against his hip. He wanted him _now_ , knowing that it would hurt if he did. Did they even have any lube? It was getting so hard to think with Jin Ling knowing just what spot to tease inside him.

All they did have was spit, but Lan Sizhui was too turned on to worry about it. Though Jin Ling knew how to stretch him open now, had him lift one leg so he could enter him more easily.

“A-Ling, take me,” he whimpered into their kisses.

“Okay,” Jin Ling replied, though stopped Lan Sizhui when he was about to turn around. “I want to see you.”

“B-But how will you-?”

Jin Ling was already holding onto one thigh, he slid his other hand under the other, and with Lan Sizhui pressed to the back of the building, he lifted him up.

“Just like that,” Jin Ling grinned at him. “I still feel so strong. You’re incredible, Sizhui.”

Lan Sizhui let out a whimper at this display of strength, then another when he felt the tip of Jin Ling’s cock entering him. He held onto his shoulders, breathing deeply to help himself relax. His own weight helped push him down onto his length, and he could feel every inch so intensely.

“F-Fuck me,” Lan Sizhui whispered. He could not bring himself to say it any louder. “Please, A-Ling…”

“Okay,” Jin Ling simply replied, grinning at him wickedly. “Call me that again. Call me ‘Gege’ again.”

He didn’t wait for Lan Sizhui to get used to shallow or gentle thrusts, he fucked into him just as he had asked. Hard and fast, the sound of their lovemaking almost seemed to echo in this small space. At this point however, Lan Sizhui couldn’t think of anyone finding them, all he wanted was to feel this good forever.

“Gege,” he moaned. “Oh Gege…”

His moans encouraged Jin Ling’s thrusts, that only seemed to become stronger as he continued fucking into him. Despite little lube, Lan Sizhui felt incredible. The stretch, the very slight bit of pain, he was getting into it.

“More… more…,” he would whisper into their kisses, and Jin Ling obliged every time.

Until Lan Sizhui could not even kiss him anymore, he felt so out of it with pleasure making his thoughts hazy. He was moaning his husbands name, feeling him spill inside. As he tightened around Jin Ling’s cock, he felt his own pleasure overwhelm him. Together they then sank down to the ground, panting and kissing.

“Oh A-Ling that was… incredible,” he gasped. Staying like this, with Jin Ling’s cock still inside him, he felt like feeling him like this for as long as he could. “What… what made you want to…?”

“Seeing you,” Jin Ling replied. “Isn’t that enough?”

Lan Sizhui almost spoke up to ask him why he had been mad at him, hadn’t touched him. But he didn’t want to be too hasty again, and mess things up for them. So he just smiled and kissed him again, happy that they were able to return to this. Together they helped each other be presentable again, they had to make sure that no one realised what they had been up to. Especially Lan Jingyi. Of course he must know that between husbands, this sort of thing would happen, but they did not need to push it into his face.

They made sure to walk an appropriate distance apart, hoping not to arouse suspicion. Cultivators of the inner circle had already gathered in the main hall, eager to hear of their exploits. As usual, Lan Sizhui and Jin Ling sat on the slightly raised platform, and Lan Jingyi had his place closest to Lan Sizhui. On Jin Ling’s side was Jin Fang, as usual.

“Sect Leader, please enlighten us on what happened,” he said, getting a few more encouragements from around him. Wine had already been served, and Lan Sizhui even took a very tiny sip. He was careful around alcohol these days, after the debacle of their wedding feast. Still he thought that this was an appropriate opportunity to indulge.

Jin Ling looked rather proud as he started telling their story. Though it had been a rather short hunt, he made sure to embellish _just_ a little. Lan Sizhui didn’t bother to correct him, neither did Lan Jingyi when the cultivators around them were so excited to hear their story and praised them for their prowess.

“And then Sizhui revealed he had composed his own song!,” Jin Ling turned to him, excitement on his face. “His song made us stronger and faster, it was unlike anything I have ever felt!”

“It’s not that great,” Lan Sizhui was blushing deeply. “Hanguang Jun did help me in places.”

“Don’t be modest, Lan-furen,” one of the cultivators that he had talked about a few days ago told him. “This is quite the feat. It is clear why you were selected to be our Sect Leader’s partner.”

Lan Sizhui felt like it was suddenly very hot in this hall, and he opted to sip a little more of his wine. He felt warmth on his hand, and noticed it was Jin Ling’s own over his. He smiled and nodded at him, encouraging him to simply take the compliment, and Lan Sizhui finally nodded.

“Some time you should demonstrate it for the sect,” he said to him. “It would be… It would be…”

Jin Ling frowned at him, as if he had suddenly forgotten how to speak.

“Sizhui I feel…,” his speech was interrupted by a strong cough making his body shudder. On instinct Jin Ling had put up a hand, and when the cough was over, he pulled it back to reveal blood.

“A-Ling?!,” Lan Sizhui leaned in, grasping his hand to confirm what it really was. Another cough wracked Jin Ling’s body, and more blood sprayed from his lips onto Lan Sizhui’s pristine white robes. He whispered to himself: “Poison?!”

The hall erupted into shouts, so loud that Lan Sizhui was unable to understand what they were all trying to say. His gaze was locked on Jin Ling’s eyes and the panic in them, his body was unable to stop coughing, and his eyes had a hard time focusing on him.

“A-Ling, tell me how you feel!,” Lan Sizhui said quickly, pulling him in and taking his pulse. He needed to know what he had taken, only then would they be able to find an antidote!

“Get the healer,” Lan Jingyi finally shouted. “No one but the servant leave this hall!”

“Si… Zi…,” Jin Ling couldn’t speak, and what Lan Sizhui felt from him was alarming. Whatever this poison was, it interrupted the flow of spiritual energy within Jin Ling, making him unable to try and ward it off himself! It even seemed to muddle his mind, it was no surprise that Jin Ling couldn’t speak.

He was clearly in pain, and afraid for his life. It broke Lan Sizhui’s heart the way he tried to cling to him, tried to call out his name, even turned to call out for Lan Jingyi but the words never left his mouth.

“Who made his food?!,” Jin Fang shouted. “Gather up all the servants immediately!”

“J-Jingyi,” Lan Sizhui said, trying to make his voice sound like Jin Ling’s. Authoritative, knowing what he was doing. “Do as he says. No one else leave. Bring them here.”

“Right away!,” Lan Jingyi ran off down the hall, and just as he did, the Jin sect’s most talented healer rushed into the hall.

But when he felt Jin Ling’s pulse the way Lan Sizhui had, he shook his head.

“I have never seen anything like this. How is it possible?”

“We have to save him!,” Lan Sizhui insisted. “I will slay the one who did this but we have to save him!”

He had never heard himself sound so angry, so sure that he would follow up on what he told him. For Jin Ling, he would kill.

“I have some medicine,” the man said, feeding some of it to Jin Ling who was barely holding onto consciousness. “But unless we know what it was…”

“Hanguang Jun!,” Lan Sizhui exclaimed. “Hanguang Jun and Wei Wuxian are nearby! Jin Bai!”

He shouted the last name, finding her by his side immediately.

“My lord,” she said, an intense look in her eyes.

“I trust only you,” Lan Sizhui told her. “You need to find them as fast as you can, take what coin you may need, we need them to save him!”

She bowed to him.

“It will be done.”

“Her?,” one of the cultivators in the hall crossed his arms. “How could she do it efficiently?”

“Shut up!,” Lan Sizhui hissed at him. “You will stay here for as long as it takes, I don’t care if you have to sleep standing upright!”

“How will he survive this long, he is passing out!,” another said.

Lan Sizhui carefully led Jin Ling to lie down. His eyes were completely unable to focus on him at this point. Soon they would close and he would be dying. But he had not worked on only one composition. With a wave of his arm, his guqin appeared in his lap, and he started playing.

“Leave that to me,” he told the group of people, his eyes fixed on Jin Ling. “I have to concentrate.”

Mutterings went through the hall but Lan Sizhui did not have the capacity to listen to them at the moment. His spiritual power fuelled the magic of the spell, focusing it completely on Jin Ling. He may not be able to revert the effect of the poison, but he could keep Jin Ling in this state: Alive. His one hope was that with Lan Wangji’s help he would be able to dispel this madness in his body. Who could have created such a vile thing?!

Lan Jingyi finally returned with every servant that had been working in the kitchen that night, and Lan Sizhui just briefly looked over to them. If he made too many mistakes, his spell might have the opposite effect.

“Sizhui,” Lan Jingyi knelt by his side. “Can you talk?”

“A little,” he told him, gaze still fixed on Jin Ling. He looked so pale and his heart ached. “Bai’s gone out to find Hanguang Jun.”

“Good.”

“Talk to them,” Lan Sizhui continued. He couldn’t question every servant or man in this room, but Lan Jingyi could.

“M-Me?”

“I can’t. I need you, Jingyi.”

“Okay, okay I will.” Lan Sizhui knew that he could do this, he just needed to have confidence. And if there was a time to find it, it was now. Lan Jingyi stood again and turned towards a hall full of faces looking at him expectantly. But he stepped out, and he stepped up. “You. Speak, what have you prepared today?”

The conversation became background noise to him, he had to concentrate on Jin Ling. But every so often he tried to listen in and retain the information that was shared with everyone. So far it seemed that the servants were either good liars, or hadn’t been the one to poison him. Lan Sizhui didn’t think that any of the servants had a reason to poison Jin Ling, they were treated well under his rule. It was much more likely that it was one of the cultivators.

Lan Jingyi seemed to think the same, as he continued asking questions when the servants had been sent away once more. There were protests among some of them, that one of the Lan Sect would be the one to lead this interrogation. It was only then that Lan Sizhui spoke up sharply, to tell them to sit down and do everything Lan Jingyi requested of them.

So the interrogation continued. So Lan Sizhui continued playing. He was aware that this would take some time, that it might be days before Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian would show up. And after a few hours he could already feel the strings of his guqin dig into his fingers. It wasn’t long after that one of them started to bleed.

Lan Jingyi urged him to take a break, that he would try to take care of Jin Ling but he couldn’t do it. He couldn’t be the one to cause Jin Ling to die. If this was what it took, then he would simply continue to play with bleeding hands.

Someone else’s hand pressed to his back then, and he could feel a surge of spiritual energy rush into his body. Some of his wounds were closed and Lan Sizhui briefly looked up at his friend.

“Thank you, but do not give too much,” he said. “I need you to keep these people in check.”

“I will,” Lan Jingyi replied. “I’ve set up an array, I will know if anyone leaves.”

“Good thinking.”

It became more quiet when it started getting late and some of the cultivators actually went to sleep right where they were. Only his playing still echoed through the hall. Lan Sizhui fought against his own exhaustion when the night had passed, but another surge of spiritual energy from Lan Jingyi kept him going. He did so sitting close to him, his arm around Lan Sizhui without interrupting his playing.

He looked up and all he wanted to do was kiss him. Not only out of love, but out of desperation. He was ready to cry for the longest time, but could not show that kind of weakness in front of these people, one of which wanted Jin Ling dead. A shuddering breath escaped his lips, and he turned to look at his husband once more.

Blood covered the strings of his guqin. It spread on them and dripped down onto the wooden base of it. At this point, even Lan Jingyi’s energy could not heal them, as he needed to stay awake most of all. Keep playing, just keep playing, he told himself over and over again. The pain had become a dull background in his mind, it did not stop him.

(Illustration of this scene on my [ art twitter ](https://twitter.com/valdrawsart/status/1346549636857737216))

Another day had passed and he was holding on by a thread. He watched Lan Jingyi kneel by Jin Ling’s side, leaning in close to whisper in his ear. With Lan Sizhui’s mind exhausted and focused on keeping Jin Ling alive, he could not understand everything that was being said. And what he did hear, it did not quite register in his mind.

“I can’t lose you,” Lan Jingyi whispered. “If I lost either of you, I could not bear it. I would follow you, you know this. Sizhui is fighting so hard, fight with him, please. I’m begging you.”

A tear rolled down Lan Sizhui’s cheek. Was it the pain? Was it the words he did not understand, reaching something deep in his heart? Or the fear of losing his husband?

He could not tell anymore. His mind was blank, his fingers numb, the lids of his eyes threatening to fall closed. When finally the words he needed to hear sent new energy into his body.

“We have returned!,” Jin Bai’s voice echoed in the hall. Those that had been asleep were roused, and Lan Sizhui turned to finally, finally see Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian rush into the hall.

“Father, I need your help!,” he called out. “I’m not strong enough to dispel it!”

Lan Wangji knelt by his side, and in a similar fashion summoned his own instrument. He glanced over at Lan Sizhui.

“I do not know this composition,” he said with his deep voice.

“I showed you some of it. It is not that elaborate. Please.”

Lan Wangji closed his eyes, hands hovering over the strings of his guqin. He listened intently for a while, with Lan Sizhui desperately hoping that he would not make any mistakes. After a while, Lan Wangji finally joined him. Only his father would be able to learn a composition this fast.

Only his fathers, he had to correct himself, when Wei Wuxian started playing too. His eyes were fixed on Lan Sizhui’s hands, then shifted over to Jin Ling. He was worried about them both, naturally.

But between the three of them, the hall was filled to the brim with spiritual energy, all of which was channelled into Jin Ling’s body. He could feel it now. Before, the poison had been held back, and only dispelled by a very small amount. Now it was pushed out of his body with such force that Jin Ling’s body arched and convulsed so that Lan Jingyi quickly knelt to hold him in place.

Black smoke poured from Jin Ling’s mouth, it dissipated harmlessly into the air, and finally it was over. Lan Sizhui could stop playing.

His hands were shaking, and he buckled over. Wei Wuxian quickly came to catch him, and grabbed his hands to inspect them.

“How long have you been playing?!,” he asked. There was a fresh surge of energy that once more healed him a little. He wanted to sleep so badly, but they were not done yet.

“Two days,” he said weakly, trying to sit upright once more. He crawled over to Jin Ling, trying to feel his pulse but only able to leave behind bloody fingerprints. “A-Ling? A-Ling?”

Jin Ling frowned in his unconscious state. He was alive! Still alive! And slowly even opening his eyes. His composition had worked once more.

“Jing… yi… Sizhui,” his voice was raspy, low. “What…”

He trailed off, still weak. The healer was by their side right away, taking his pulse. Lan Jingyi suddenly looked up, and glanced to the side. Lan Sizhui was not clear on what he was thinking.

“Jingyi?,” he whispered.

“I know who it was,” he replied.

Lan Sizhui’s eyes widened.

“Who? Tell me!”

His eyes widened even more as Lan Jingyi leaned in and whispered the name into his ear. He did not need to know how he had found out, not right now. He trusted Lan Jingyi fully, and in his anger he grasped his sword to step down from the raised platform. Making his way towards the man, he unsheathed it.

“I told you I was going to kill the one who did this,” he told Jin Fang, the tip of his sword already cut into his throat. He was tired, exhausted. But this he could not let go. “Do you have any last words?”

His anger fuelled him. It let him raise his sword arm and gather what spiritual energy he had left. No matter the strength of the man in front of him, his anger would triumph over him. Never in his life had anger overwhelmed him this much.

“Lan-furen, please, you have the wrong man,” he pleaded.

Lan Sizhui’s eyes narrowed.

“You chose to die a coward, then.”

What energy he had left, he channelled into his sword. With a swift strike, Jin Fang’s head fell to the ground. A geyser of blood shot from the wound, bathing him in it but he did not care. He calmly stepped back and took in the cultivators around him. Some looked frightened, some seemed rather pleased.

“Know this,” he called out through the hall. “Any that threaten my husband’s life, or that of my own people, and they will follow the same fate. I. Will. Find. You.”

He emphasised every word, then commanded the nearest man to take away the body.

Jin Ling was carried back to his chambers where he, Lan Jingyi and his fathers followed. Only when they were alone did he let himself fall next to the bed, close to Jin Ling. All he wanted to do was sleep… But a pale hand reached out for his own, pulled it close to his face.

“Your hands,” Jin Ling whispered. “What did you do?”

“What was necessary,” Lan Sizhui replied. “I had to save my husband, didn’t I?”

Finally tears rolled down his cheeks. Two days of staying awake had taken its toll, and he didn’t realise who else was in the room when he leaned in to kiss Jin Ling. But he left behind more blood, not his own this time. He pulled back quickly, trying to wipe it off of Jin Ling but he seemed to only leave behind more of a mess.

“A-Yuan,” Wei Wuxian gently took his hands and pulled him away. “Leave it to Jingyi. You need to clean up. Let me help you.”

He was led into a bathing chamber and Wei Wuxian undressed him. He could not even be embarrassed about being naked around him, or how he was wiping the blood off of him. A robe that was slightly too big was put around him again, and his fingers carefully bandaged. By the time he had been put into Jin Ling’s bed by his side, he was ready to simply pass out. But something was missing.

“Jingyi,” he called out, his eyes already closing on their own. His hand reached for Jin Ling’s. “Jingyi, I need Jingyi…”

Someone whispered something and finally he felt the sheets rustling behind him. Jingyi had slipped under the covers with them, and he reached over Lan Sizhui to rest his hand on Jin Ling’s chest. It was the last thing he was aware of when he was pulled into a deep slumber.

“If I lost either of you, I could not bear it,” Lan Jingyi’s voice echoed out in his dream. Finally he realised what he had said. “I would follow you.”

Follow them? Into death?

“I’m begging you…”

Lan Sizhui woke slowly, his body in pain, not just his fingers. He had stiffened up while playing and it now came back to haunt him. But at least he was warm. To his left was Jin Ling, some of the colour had returned to his face, and he had to smile at the sight. The relief was palpable, so sharp that it almost hurt and he wanted to cry. But here to his right was Lan Jingyi, holding him tightly.

And he was awake.

“Jingyi?,” he asked softly, not wanting to wake up his husband.

“Hey,” he replied in a whisper. “Didn’t think you’d be up so soon.”

“Mhm… Hanguang Jun?”

“Went to guest chambers,” Lan Jingyi replied.

“Jingyi?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you love me?”

A pause as Lan Jingyi avoided looking into his eyes. But Lan Sizhui didn’t look away, instead he took his hand.

“You know the answer to that,” Lan Jingyi finally replied.

“I need to hear it,” he whispered back. “Please.”

“I… I love you, Sizhui, I do…,” tears filled in his eyes, but Lan Sizhui squeezed his hand. His heart was threatening to burst out of his chest with the next question he was about to ask.

“Do you love Jin Ling too?”

Lan Jingyi stared at him, his eyes wide. For a moment again he couldn’t speak, but Lan Sizhui tried to somehow convey to him that it was okay to answer this question. He just needed to hear it so badly.

“Did you know?,” Lan Jingyi asked. “About the kiss?”

“What kiss?,” he asked in turn, and Lan Jingyi paled.

“Fuck. I… I… After I had arrived and we had talked, I was so angry. I… I ended up kissed him. Because I didn’t know what to do with these feelings,” he admitted.

“He returned it, didn’t he?,” Lan Sizhui continued, and he was starting to smile. His friend looked at him with so much confusion in his eyes. But he finally nodded.

They had kissed! Kissed!

Lan Sizhui grabbed Lan Jingyi by the front of his robes and pulled him into just that: A kiss. His friend was so surprised that he could not kiss him back at first, but then he was brought back to that moment so many days ago. Where they had kissed and it had felt amazing, only now it was even better.

“I thought I was selfish,” Lan Sizhui whispered against his lips. “To love you both so deeply.”

“Oh Sizhui,” Lan Jingyi gasped, and pulled him even closer by the waist.

Laying flush together, they continued to kiss and Lan Sizhui’s heart soared. Could it be? Could it be so easy?

When they pulled apart it seemed that Jin Ling had awoken too. For just a split second he thought that made he had been wrong, but he was soon pulled into another kiss with his husband, who then followed up doing the same with Lan Jingyi. Watching them kiss made him feel a whole different kind of way. The way he did when he and Jin Ling had made love.

They were all panting a little when they had pulled away, now they exchanged glances and slowly they all started to smile. Now they were laying in this big bed and giggling together, holding onto one another. It went on for quite some time, the sheer relief washing over them. No matter what people might think, this would work for them. They could share the love that they had!

“I love you both so much,” Lan Sizhui sighed, so happy he could finally say it. Something clicked then, about the kiss Lan Jingyi and Jin Ling had shared. “Is that why you were so distant, A-Ling? Because you had kissed?”

Jin Ling nodded awkwardly, blushing a bit.

“I felt guilty,” he admitted. “Like I didn’t deserve you.”

“A-Ling…,” he leaned in to kiss his cheek. “I thought I had angered you. I suppose we were all a little stupid.”

“Some more than others,” Lan Jingyi blushed a little. “Oh I mean me, obviously.”

“Shh,” Lan Sizhui gazed at him. He could not stop it. “Just kiss me more.”

“As you wish.”

Lan Jingyi grinned as he leaned in again, and the three were soon lost in the kisses they shared. Jin Ling was still a little weak, so he soon found himself in the middle, where two men were vying for the attention of his lips. They took turns as they felt like it, and then Lan Sizhui felt a hand on his behind. He sat up and looked down at Jin Ling.

“A-Ling, you were poisoned up until yesterday, I do not think that is a good idea.”

“Is he touching you in indecent places too?,” Lan Jingyi said, mirroring his movements.

Below them, Jin Ling pouted.

“But watching you kiss, how can I not want more?,” he asked. “It does things to me.”

Lan Jingyi and Lan Sizhui grinned at each other, and leaned over Jin Ling to kiss again. They took their time now, caressing each other, deepening their kiss as they did.

“That’s not fair!,” Jin Ling complained.

Lan Sizhui reached down to cup where Jin Ling’s arousal was rather clearly visible now.

“Perhaps he’s right, Jingyi. Do you want to try something?,” he asked.

Lan Jingyi looked down, and nodded. They were eager as they undressed Jin Ling, helping him lie back down comfortably after. He had not pleasured a man with his mouth before, but between the two of them, they should be able to figure things out. They laid on their stomachs, and Lan Sizhui reached out to rub Jin Ling to be fully hard. Lan Jingyi looked rather impressed at his size.

“Have you done it before?,” Lan Sizhui asked. “Using your mouth?”

Lan Jingyi shook his head.

“I haven’t yet… at all. I always thought…”

“Always thought what?,” Lan Sizhui urged him on.

“That you and I would be my first,” Lan Jingyi finally admitted.

“He could still be,” Jin Ling said softly. He was smiling at Lan Jingyi. “He was mine, and I could not have hoped for better.”

“Could… could I?,” Lan Jingyi was asking Lan Sizhui now.

“Of course. Let us take care of Jin Ling first.”

Lan Jingyi was eager to do so, reaching out with his hand at first as Lan Sizhui leaned in and licked the tip of Jin Ling’s cock. As he did so, he felt his hand once more come to his behind, or at least try to.

“Sizhui,” he whispered.

He realised right away, and turned to get the ceramic bottle of lube from their bedside table, and turned so that Jin Ling could have access to him. Lan Jingyi watched curiously as his fingers entered inside him, and Lan Sizhui shuddered with the pleasure that simple act already brought him. The two lavished Jin Ling’s cock with attention, using their hands and tongues at first to try and figure out how to go best about it. It was Lan Jingyi then that first parted his lips and took the tip of him in, while Lan Sizhui watched.

“Careful with your teeth,” he said softly.

But Lan Jingyi seemed to already be into it. He suckled on the tip and pressed his tongue against his cock, then sank down a little lower. Above them Jin Ling let out a shuddering breath, at the same time pressing deeper into Lan Sizhui. Both their moans filled the air of the room, as Lan Jingyi managed to sink about halfway onto Jin Ling’s cock. He started on a slow rhythm, getting used to this new adventure. After a while he pulled back, gasping, and asked if Lan Sizhui wanted to try.

He very much wanted to.

Inching a little closer he got into position to mimic Lan Jingyi, smelling the heavy scent of musk from Jin Ling’s member. Taking him into his mouth seemed more difficult than Lan Jingyi had made it seem. He was so big, he felt that it couldn’t possibly fit. But the tip of it went in, and he used his hand on the rest, trying out a bit more pressure with his tongue. The taste was slightly salty, but Lan Sizhui felt himself getting harder just from doing this.

Jin Ling’s fingers did not help.

He finally had to pull away to moan, unable to keep it in any longer.

“I want to see you enter him,” Jin Ling told Lan Jingyi.

In return he blushed and nodded.

“I’m ready,” Lan Sizhui whispered to him.

Jin Ling pulled him closer, made sure to get another kiss before he manoeuvred him to lie back onto his chest. With his head over his shoulder, Jin Ling would be able to see everything.

Lan Sizhui spread his legs wide, blushing a little doing this with someone else, someone he hadn’t been with before. He hiked up his robes and undid the belt around them, exposing himself completely. Lan Jingyi was looking down at him with such a hunger in his eyes, that he almost thought he would soon be devoured.

“Do I just…,” Lan Jingyi gestured to his hole, and Lan Sizhui had to laugh a little.

“Slowly,” Jin Ling warned, thinking of their first time together. “He should be loose enough but be careful. You could hurt him.”

“It’s okay,” Lan Sizhui added quickly. He reached out to pull Lan Jingyi closer to him too. Then he reached between them to pull out Lan Jingyi’s cock, already hard, and helped him line up with his entrance after making sure he was slicked up too. “You won’t hurt me. Push inside, go on.”

He then laid back and took a deep breath to relax himself. Lan Jingyi was watching closely where he was pushing into him, his eyes a little wide as he felt and saw Lan Sizhui’s body opening up for him. He himself closed his eyes and sighed at the feeling, he loved the stretch, the feeling of a cock entering inside him.

“S-Sizhui,” Lan Jingyi gasped. “It’s so tight. Does it hurt?”

He shook his head and looked up to smile at him.

“Not at all,” he sighed. “You feel good, Jingyi.”

“I do?”

It was endearing, the way he looked at him, and hoped that what Lan Sizhui had said was true. So he nodded and pulled him into another kiss, reaching down to cup his ass. He pulled him as close as he could, pushing Lan Jingyi’s cock even deeper inside him.

“Go slowly first,” Jin Ling said behind him.

Lan Jingyi nodded seriously, but it was soon clear how much he enjoyed thrusting into Lan Sizhui. His messy ponytail was falling over his shoulder, tickling Lan Sizhui’s chest a little, who tried to reach for Jin Ling’s cock to pleasure him as well, but it was hard to control his hand when Lan Jingyi was making love to him this way. He relaxed back against Jin Ling’s chest, a soft moan coming from his lips.

“Jingyi… Jingyi,” he moaned.

“You can go a little faster now,” Jin Ling instructed, and as Lan Jingyi did, Lan Sizhui’s moans became louder and deeper. He could hear the smile in his husband’s voice then. “He likes it like this. Try angling a little different. You have to hit that spot.”

“What spot?,” Lan Jingyi tried his hardest to listen and follow, but he too was moaning, a bead of sweat rolling down the side of his face. He looked utterly beautiful so dishevelled.

But then he rolled his hips an Lan Sizhui whimpered sweetly.

“That spot,” Jin Ling told him with a grin. “Keep doing that, Jingyi.”

He turned to kiss Lan Sizhui’s cheek, who felt completely helpless - and enjoyed every second of it. Lan Jingyi was starting to get good at this, finding the spot and bringing him deeper pleasure. He had to reach back and curl his fingers in Jin Ling’s hair, holding onto him that way. In turn, Jin Ling’s hand came around him to tease one nipple, pinching and rolling it between fingers.

Between these two, one fucking into him, the other teasing him endlessly, Lan Sizhui felt that he was soon going to come. His moans sounded obscene, even to himself, but he could not stop them, only hope that there was no one nearby to hear his shameful sounds.

Even so, he wanted more.

“A-Ling, A-Ling, inside,” he demanded. As he did Lan Jingyi slowed down a little and he shook his head. He didn’t want him to stop!

“After?,” Jin Ling mumbled into his ear.

“No, now… Right now.”

“But Jin Ling was hurt,” Lan Jingyi said, but he pulled out.

They didn’t understand, and Lan Sizhui wanted to pout. But addled with lust as he was, he did not feel shame in taking what he wanted. He sat up and quickly shrugged out of his robes, tossing them away. They were both watching him closely as he straddled Jin Ling, Lan Sizhui’s back facing him, and simply sat down on his cock. The stretch was delicious as he leaned back, almost lying as he was before. Then he grinned up at Lan Jingyi.

“You too,” he said.

The look Lan Jingyi gave him almost made him laugh if he weren’t so desperate to be stretched even wider. Jin Ling had wrapped his arms around him from behind, gently caressing his belly.

“Are you sure?,” Jin Ling asked him.

“I am,” he replied, tightening around his husband to make him gasp. “I want more.”

Lan Jingyi looked a little concerned, but Lan Sizhui drew him into a kiss, their tongues meeting. He kept kissing him, kept kissing until they both stopped thinking and he could reach between them to guide his cock where Jin Ling was already inside him. And blindly like this, he pushed inside him too.

It was so much. The stretch was so big. Almost painful.

“Sizhui?,” Lan Jingyi’s voice was gentle, breath playing against his lips.

“Don’t stop don’t you dare stop,” Lan Sizhui babbled. “It feels so good please please keep going.”

There _was_ a little bit of pain as Lan Jingyi’s cock pushed deeper into him, but he did not let it show. That little bit of pain drove him only wilder, wanted him to get fucked harder though he knew Jin Ling would not be able to move much in his position. It was Lan Jingyi that had to move for them, and as he did his husband too started to moan. Their voices intermingled as Lan Jingyi found a rhythm, when Jin Ling rolled his hips a little, and Lan Sizhui could feel both their cocks move inside him.

It was almost too much. He let himself fall into this pleasure, into this heat of their bodies pressed so close to him, inside him. The three of them were one.

“Sizhui I- I-,” Lan Jingyi stammered against his lips. He had only stopped kissing him to turn and kiss Jin Ling too, he was out of breath and panting. “I’m going to…”

“Inside,” Lan Sizhui blurted out. He remembered how it felt and he never wanted to miss feeling that sensation. “Both inside.”

He couldn’t say anything else, neither of them could. Lan Jingyi’s thrusts became a little erratic, and Jin Ling joined him in rolling his hips. No matter how they moved it seemed they managed to tease that spot inside him. When he finally felt it, his loves spilling their seed inside him, he followed them. His moan was drawn out, echoing through the room and he felt something sticky on his chest - and Lan Jingyi’s as well.

Then it was silent, and all that could be heard for a few minutes were the three of them trying to catch their breaths. Lan Jingyi was the first to pull out of him and helped him settle back down next to Jin Ling. Then it was both their turns to kiss him again, and he sighed a big sigh.

He was happy.

They still had to deal with the aftermath of yesterday’s events, but the three of them were exhausted and too cuddly to do so right away. Lan Jingyi made sure to check the bandages on Lan Sizhui’s hands, redid them after they had mostly come undone just now. Before cleaning his wounds, he and Jin Ling made sure to press a kiss to every single finger.

“They saved my life,” Jin Ling mumbled. “We must take care of them.”

“I’m just glad my composition worked,” Lan Sizhui sighed. “But if anything like this happens again… I have to become stronger. It was only because of Hanguang Jun that we could…”

“I have no doubt that one day you will be as strong as him,” Lan Jingyi told him. “You already held out for two days, Sizhui. You were incredible.”

“Agreed,” Jin Ling said softly. Lan Sizhui could only blush, he had never seen himself as impressive at all.

He remembered something then, something he hadn’t questioned the day before because he trusted Lan Jingyi with his life.

“Oh, Jingyi! How did you know it was Jin Fang?,” he asked.

“Well none of the servants seemed suspicious,” Lan Jingyi replied. “They all seemed rather worried that Jin Ling had been hurt. But whenever I asked someone, they had different kind of reactions. But none of them were as calm as him. Angry, afraid, sure, but none of them were calm. Then I remembered he had stepped out earlier, I just saw it out of the corner of my eyes.”

Lan Sizhui nodded, listening intently.

“I thought I should have noticed sooner,” he continued. “There was still this powder on his sleeve! And none of the food that we had resembled anything like it. I should have stopped him. I’m an awful bodyguard.”

“You’re not,” Lan Sizhui and Jin Ling said at the same time, then grinned at each other. Lan Sizhui continued: “We’re all learning. You delivered him to me, I could never have done it without you.”

“We’ll work together to be more powerful,” Jin Ling said. “I need to lead this sect after all.”

“Together,” Lan Sizhui echoed, taking a hand each in his own.

But Lan Jingyi seemed a little thoughtful. It took them urging him on to share his thoughts.

“I should probably hide this, shouldn’t I?,” he asked. “I mean you are married and I am… here.”

“I don’t care what people say,” Jin Ling sat up but regretted it. He grimaced and Lan Sizhui was quickly there to steady him. “My grandfather had people gossipping, even now they do! But he still led the sect as a strong leader. I don’t even want prostitutes like he had. I just want the two of you. And I don’t want to hide.”

“It is not like it is very common to show this sort of thing,” Lan Sizhui continued. “But I agree. And who could say anything against the great Sect Leader [Xiao-Ling-Er](https://twitter.com/KatjeXia/status/1086475863254753281) himself?”

He earned a little nudge into his side after teasing his husband, but he just giggled at the flush that this brought to Jin Ling’s cheeks. Even after having been together so intimately, Jin Ling would blush at this. Lan Sizhui adored it.

“It’s the three of us now. Always has been,” he added gently.

It took them a few more hours to become presentable. By that time Jin Ling felt like he had more energy to walk around, and insisted that he do so, wanting to be a strong image for the men and women of his sect. Lan Sizhui and Lan Jingyi were still close by his side, just in case he needed a little breather. Once more they convened in the great hall, with one seat left free, where the carpet and the walls were just a little brighter than before. The servants must have worked all night to be able to clean it this thoroughly. Lan Sizhui made a mental note to thank them.

Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian were sitting close by, and it was evident the latter was happy to see them all looking rather happy and healthy considering what had happened the day before. The former was, too, but only Lan Sizhui knew how to interpret the look in his eyes. He gave his father a smile and a nod to reassure him. His fingers would heal, everything was fine.

Of course it was Wei Wuxian too, who noticed the change in the way the three of them acted with one another. Lan Jingyi was careful to help Jin Ling sit down - not that he needed it. But the gentle touch of his hand on the small of Jin Ling’s back made Wei Wuxian’s eyes sparkle. They met Lan Sizhui’s, who gave him a small nod, trying not to blush.

He then leaned in towards Lan Wangji and whispered something in his ear. The corner of his mouth tugged up just a little and Lan Sizhui had to admit: Following his heart had turned out well after all.

“Sect Leader,” Jin Qing, one of the men Jin Fang had accused to hide his own schemes spoke up. “Are you feeling well?”

“I am,” Jin Ling confirmed. “My husband and Hanguang Jun’s playing dispelled the poison completely. And… Wei Wuxian, your contribution has been noted.”

He turned to all three of them, bowing deeply each time.

“I am forever grateful.”

Hanguang Jun bowed as well, his expression never changing.

“And it is only through Lan Jingyi the culprit could be identified,” Jin Ling continued. Another bow. Lan Jingyi tried to hide his smile unsuccessfully. “But there is one other. Jin Bai, please step forward.”

At first Lan Sizhui was as surprised as Jin Bai was to be called forward so suddenly. She took her sword and did as she was asked, bowing deeply in front of her Sect Leader.

“My husband trusted you to find Hanguang Jun to save me,” Jin Ling’s tone was rather gentle. “You’ve shown your resourcefulness and your loyalty. I know you have been working hard, and your talents are wasted in your current standing. Starting tomorrow you will report for training.”

“S-Sect Leader!,” she looked up, her eyes wide, then glanced at Lan Sizhui. “But what about my duties…?”

“They will be taken care of,” Jin Ling had to smile. Lan Sizhui thought it was a very handsome look on him. “I can sense great potential in you, it should be nurtured. And I am sure your friendship with Sizhui will not lessen.”

“Never,” Lan Sizhui told her.

“Thank you!,” Jin Bai blurt out, and bowed again deeply. “I am grateful for this opportunity, I will not squander it.”

She sat back down behind Lan Sizhui where she had been before, and he turned to flash her a smile. Soon she would become a great cultivator, he was sure of it. He couldn’t wait to see it.

Lan Sizhui kept a close eye on Jin Ling for the next few hours. While he appeared rather strong, he made sure that he could make up an excuse that saved his face but let him rest. He left Lan Jingyi with him to go out and meet his fathers once more. Wei Wuxian immediately made sure to check up on his fingers again, still somewhat mangled but healing. Though they had been tended to, his father applied another layer of a soothing ointment that he had carried with him before wrapping them up once more.

“Sizhui, seeing you like that when we arrived…,” Wei Wuxian sighed. “You were pale, bleeding. So intense. I felt my heart wanting to jump out of my chest.”

“But I’m fine,” Lan Sizhui said quickly. “My fingers will heal.”

“I need you to know that I’m so proud of you,” Wei Wuxian continued. “But the way you killed that man. I’ve never seen you this way before. Have you… done something like this before?”

Looking into Wei Wuxian’s eyes and seeing the worry there, for the first time it seemed to settle in what he had done. He glanced down at his hands again, remembered them covered not just in his own blood, but that of someone else too. The way his father looked at him made him feel as if he did not see him as the same person that he had before this had happened. But perhaps he wasn’t. So much had changed, _he_ had changed.

“Do you love me less now?,” Lan Sizhui heard himself ask. There was this sudden fear in him, that Wei Wuxian would push him away and it threatened to make him cry.

“Of course not!,” Wei Wuxian replied quickly, coming to take his hands. “Look at me, A-Yuan. Look at me.”

Slowly, Lan Sizhui did. A shuddering sigh of relief left his parted lips as he did not see the same kind of expression in his eyes.

“I will always love you from the bottom of my heart,” he promised. “I am only worried. I will always be worried.”

Lan Sizhui shook his head quickly then.

“I never did it before. Only corpses and such,” he said. “When I heard it was him I was just so angry like… like it would tear me apart. Thinking that it was him who almost took A-Ling from me. I couldn’t bear it.”

“It was an appropriate punishment,” Wei Wuxian told him. “But be mindful of your heart. It didn’t have to be you.”

“I think it did have to be me,” Lan Sizhui said quietly. “But I will, papa.”

“Sizhui’s heart will be fine,” this time Lan Wangji spoke, his deep voice making Lan Sizhui look at him. “Brave and strong. And his heart’s protected.”

He was right. He had Lan Jingyi and Jin Ling. And in a different way, his fathers. Things may become difficult as they had been, but he could get through them. One day at a time.

“Things are alright then?,” Wei Wuxian asked, noticing his smile. “Certainly seemed that way.”

Lan Sizhui nodded, smoothing down his robes so his hands could be busy. They always seemed a size too large when thinking about those that he loved and how they made him feel.

“This morning we… talked,” he finished lamely. Thinking about what else they had done brought heat into his cheeks but there was no way he could talk about it. “We all felt the same way towards one another. So we are… we are… Together.”

“You’re happy?”

“I am. Still a little shaken from these two days but… yes,” he smiled at his fathers. “I’m happy.”

“Good,” Lan Wangji smiled at him. A precious gift.

Their conversation was a little easier after that, going to less important things. Lan Wangji was quiet as usual, but Wei Wuxian more than made up for it. Despite making him laugh, Lan Sizhui’s thoughts did drift off every so often, thinking about the man he had killed. He didn’t regret the decision, but it had changed something in him. Some things would just never be the same again.

And some remained the same - always.

“Sizhui!,” Lan Jingyi’s voice called out. “It’s Zizhen! They’re going night hunting!”

All three of them went to meet a familiar group of juniors that had seemingly just arrived at Koi Tower. Jin Ling was clearly ecstatic. He held himself proudly, definitely showing off his status as Sect Leader to them, and was already boasting about throwing a feast and teasing that he had an exciting story to tell. Lan Sizhui rushed over to Ouyang Zizhen, stopping just in front and holding back the urge to hug him. It felt like it had been years since they had last seen each other.

“It’s _so_ good to see you!,” he blurted out.

Ouyang Zizhen bowed deeply to him, but couldn’t hide his grin.

“I hear they’re calling you Lan-furen now,” he told him.

Lan Sizhui blushed a little and waved it off with his hand.

“I think some do to tease me,” he replied. “But honestly I don’t really mind. As long as I get to be with Jin Ling.”

“Be with… I thought this was just an arrangement,” Ouyang Zizhen looked a little confused, looking between him and Jin Ling. “Don’t tell me…”

“It’s a long story,” Lan Sizhui said.

Ouyang Zizhen frowned then.

“What happened to your fingers anyway?”

“That’s even- AH,” he yelped rather indignantly as he was suddenly lifted and thrown over Lan Jingyi’s shoulder to be carried away. “Jingyi!”

“Our great Sect Leader has promised a feast for our friends! Naturally we must attend.”

“Yes but…,” he lowered his voice considerably. “Your hand is on my… You know!”

He knew that right now Lan Jingyi was grinning, and that there were a lot of eyes on them. Ouyang Zizhen looked rather confused after what he had just told him about Jin Ling, others cheered and laughed. Somehow Lan Sizhui couldn’t even be that mad about this public display. He felt elated seeing his friends and being able to talk to them, while knowing that in private he would be the happiest he had ever been.

Both of them however were rather surprised to be back in the main hall, where Lan Jingyi sat him down and Lan Sizhui saw that there was another seat on the raised platform. It was clearly for Lan Jingyi, and Jin Ling was waiting there for the both of them with a rather pleased smile. Lan Jingyi rushed forward to whisper into his ear.

“You can’t just have two Lans sitting by your side!,” he hissed. “I really don’t mind sitting somewhere else.”

“Nonsense,” Jin Ling insisted. “The two of you are part of my sect now. And you saved my life, both of you. You’re going to sit.”

Lan Jingyi looked a little nervous, but Ouyang Zizhen was already here to ask what all the juniors in the hall were thinking: “Saved your life?!”

Another story that they had to tell. Jin Ling was getting rather good at it, and as he did, he was freely giving affection to both of them. Not downright kissing them, but leaning in close, a gentle touch against their backs, or their hands briefly brushing against one another. Lan Sizhui and Lan Jingyi were both blushing a little, but finding themselves unable to tell him to stop. After all it’s what they had decided, hadn’t it? That they would not hide.

Some of their friends seemed to realise what was going on, others were rather oblivious, but none of them seemed to object. Despite the group’s plan to go night hunting, they were very eager to stay for the night, and Lan Sizhui was happy to hear that his husband would be resting a little bit more before they would go out to join them. It was getting rather late when it was just the four of them, the inner circle with the three of them and Ouyang Zizhen. They had had a bit of wine at this point, feeling warm, happy and tipsy.

“Should have known about you three,” Ouyang Zizhen pointed at them with his cup. “All those looks you gave each other, always teasing and all that. Now you’re… you’re… I don’t know what you are.”

“In love,” Jin Ling proudly proclaimed, puffing out his chest. It was rather adorable.

“Sooo, Jingyi’s like your concubine? Like your grand-”

“It’s nothing like that!,” Jin Ling slammed down his cup, almost breaking it in the process. Lan Jingyi reached out for his hand, took it to gently clean the spilled wine from it. Jin Ling noticed the touch and slightly blushed, although it could have also been from the alcohol. “He was… I’m not like that. I really, really love him. That’s why he has to sit here. If I could, I would marry you too.”

He addressed the last bit to Lan Jingyi, who smiled at him gently, finally finishing with cleaning him up. His fingers briefly went to caress his cheek, pulling them back rather abruptly, most likely because of Ouyang Zizhen’s presence.

“I don’t mind, Xiao-Ling-Er,” he said softly, borrowing the cheesy nickname from when Lan Sizhui had used it to tease him. “I am just grateful to be here.”

They looked at each other so sickeningly in love that Ouyang Zizhen cleared his throat and looked away, blushing rather brightly. Lan Sizhui made sure to nudge them so they remembered where they were.

“So, so it’s like that,” Ouyang Zizhen muttered to himself.

“Is that bad?,” Jin Ling tried to look defiant and proud, as if he challenged him to say anything against it and he would beat him up. But Lan Sizhui could tell that there was some insecurity within him. He reached out to take his hand, for reassurance.

“N-No,” he replied quickly. Then a grin spread on his face, a shit eating grin Lan Sizhui knew too well. “You don’t happen to need a fourth, do you?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've got a [Twitter](https://twitter.com/valkyrieshepard)! And an [art Twitter](https://twitter.com/valdrawsart) where I sometimes do fanart :D

**Author's Note:**

> I have a [twitter](http://twitter.com/valkyrieshepard)!
> 
> I also have an [art twitter](http://twitter.com/valdrawsart) where I sometimes draw [ fanart](https://twitter.com/valdrawsart/status/1337118716564267008)


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